Symptoms of a Death That Was Never Born

[jeebus13]

I feel empty-
or maybe I just feel full
of shit.
It all just seems
like a dull
shadow
of what really is.
Or maybe it all really
isn't...
I don't think
that even this sickening
Kansas wind
is enough
to fill me today.
The numbing cold
of another dead day
creeps over me,
but not into me
and that is all that I need
today.
I have tried to fill this hollow
with fear,
with coffee,
with sarcasm,
with words,
but every time
I try to put something in
I have to take something out.
I am a barren swamp-
infectious human waste-
the game of life's cruelest joke.
Don't look through me,
I do that well enough for the both of us.
And you leave, too.
Maybe today
is just
for emptying...
because
there is nothing left,
not even
one more word.