I live in a half way house. Sometimes, I wake up and think, "Where am I? What have I done? How did I end up here?" and remember that I am a heroin addict. I look at myself in the mirror every day and say "you are a heroin addict," because I need to remind myself of the pain.
Many memories from childhood are vivid; some are not. I have ONE extremely vivid memory of my mother and I, sitting on a couch, watching a television show about a heroin addict and how awful her life was because of her addicton. I was just nine at the time; I had some idea of what heroin was..I knew it ruined lives. My mother turned over to me and said, "honey, promise me you'll never touch heroin." I hugged my mother and said, "Mommy, I promise." Every time I used, for two years straight, I thought of my broken promise. I am just now starting to rid myself of the guilt that has accumulated for two years.
I am 90 days clean as of last night. I haven't feel this way in years. I am happy.
Many memories from childhood are vivid; some are not. I have ONE extremely vivid memory of my mother and I, sitting on a couch, watching a television show about a heroin addict and how awful her life was because of her addicton. I was just nine at the time; I had some idea of what heroin was..I knew it ruined lives. My mother turned over to me and said, "honey, promise me you'll never touch heroin." I hugged my mother and said, "Mommy, I promise." Every time I used, for two years straight, I thought of my broken promise. I am just now starting to rid myself of the guilt that has accumulated for two years.
I am 90 days clean as of last night. I haven't feel this way in years. I am happy.
