Sunburst Love

[BrightEyesIsMe]

Behold the new found sensation I have gathered in my soul
One of a color
Sunburst, bright orange with a tint of pink
Orange being strong and holding
Pink, goofy cherriness of delicous kisses
As well as warmth holding me as a blanket
Although you are a guy and orange and pink may not appeal to you,
You are my sun, my warmth, and comfort
The sun is known for burning out one day...billions of possible years from now.
I hope that applies to you and me, death after life time love together
Even after we are gone I want people to know that we, were.
I believe I may be the moon
I catch the light you give off and reflect it back to you as well as others for them to see how wonderful you are.
At night while you are sleeping I watch you
I am but a little weaker and the stars help hold me up to be good for you
But you hold me more than any and that is the way it should be
My beloved sun I am yours
It being the wee hours of the morning I am still out in watch
But daylight is approaching and you will come to relieve me
My sunshine
Good morning

 

[Meesh]

^^^^I like the imagery of you being the moon, and reflecting light, but im sorry to say that i dont like the word "wonderful" and think that what you were feeling is very strong in this poem, but using words like "beloved" and "wonderful" takes away the passion. the first six lines are full of powerful colors and imagery-"sunburst bright orange" but then you kind of go off track it seems. or maybe the middle is a little unclear, and i cant see the connection between your love for your "guy" and how you're watching him as the sun rises. otherwise, i liked it, and i think its a good start...