Hi all I am new member to this site I’ll call myself Allen as my alias, thank you for allowing me to be part of the community. although this site always given me great info I can never find anywhere else I have never commented and I felt like it was time!
Quick background. I’m a full blow oxy addict who also is in a suboxone outpatient program. I had been doing really well with the subs but covid-19 and losing my job, new house, wife etc just got too stressful.
My tolerance for oxy is obviously not what it once was 4 years ago when I met my dealer for the first time, but I still just love it. I do a thing where I go on binges. I’ll do up to 8-9 30mg oxys a day along with my Valium I’m prescribed and recently added 30mg ir adderall to the mix just to dull the stress and the adderall gives me some euphoria , I used to just need 3 oxys to get that euphoric feeling without needing other meds to help get there. I usually pick up 30 30mg oxys, 15-20 extra stronger 10mg Valium and 5 addies. That’s like my 4-5 day thing and around $1200, plus my drive time to Oakland from the north bay which is 2 hours plus round trip . The price now for legit oxys is insane. I’m paying 40 dollars per at times before stuff tightened up I was paying 22 per and obviously it’s not sustainable. Worst is NOBODY in my family, even my wife know I’m on suboxone in the first place or that I have this nasty habit on the side. I hold down a job, am pretty good at acting normal like all is good but it gets so EXHAUSTING just pretending I’m all good. I’ll sometimes get in bad moods etc from knowing I’m about to run out of oxy and I need to start the process of slowly getting on subs and then going back down. it’s just inevitable someone will find out.. this is the first time I HAVE EVER been able to write this to people so that feels good, but I guess I’m just looking to start a discussion and see if others might be in similar situations or can commiserate?
hello Allen
I read this and after years of creeping and not ever signing up I decided to. Let’s call me selena random alias lol.
I’m 34 years old and have been an in and off addicted for 13 years... for awhile NO ONE in my family or when I lived with my bf knew. I’ve been somehow functioning normally for awhile. It really first became a hard habit decade ago when I had a herniated disk and back then when docs prescribed Oxys and subs left and right I was prescribed 30mg roxi blues three times a day. So 90 a month. I’m a small person 5’2 about 100 pounds. And I went through those in 3-4 days. I have a nature high tolerance for all medications. The first time I took oxy I had 15mg and was fine. Anyways so after that I switched to heroin then etc etc. Did my own sub detox stopped couple years later went back on.
was a pattern
The last detox I had was cause everyone found out. My habit was out of control $600 a day of heroin. I was sent to one of those expensive fast detox places and they had me on naltrexone because it was one of those fast detox places. They basically make you pass out for couple days so the pw doesn’t effect you. However the program was a few thousand dollars. My family freaked out and basically found the best they could
(You need to wait 10 days after last sub or whatever to take it) Naltrexone is great. I had no cravings etc. But they make you stop taking it after a couple years. I couldn’t get a prescription anymore. I tried my best to cope
Now 3 years later I’m back in it again.
now I’ve added coke to the mix. I’m already on Xanax I have Valium etc.
(trust me I know the dangers and I’m surprised I’m not dead )
Recently I had found really cheap pressed blues. And wow they were great. Caused a lot of skin issues but man. I somehow ended up taking 13-15 a day. Snorting it. (My nasal cavities are prob going to fall out. )
So now I’m doing that. Coke, Valium Xanax (.25) , kratom (does nothing for me but I feel like it does so I still take it) that lasted a month.
Then I decided to switch to normal blues. Did that for a week. That was actually an easy switch. Now to subs. I somehow made it through with barely any withdrawals. I’m shocked seriously. I mean I’ve had so many withdrawals and from heroin back then over and over again. With the sub. I don’t even know what I’m doing or where I’m even going. I started crushing and adding alil saline then dripping it to. Seems to work better.
I know my story isn’t the same as yours but I want you to know I really do understand the frustration of acting normal.
my family is paranoid of me going back and I get it lol. But due to COVID I only see them once a week.
but hang in there. You’re not alone
if you want to know more about my experience with the fast detox just msg me or reply back. I’m willing to share it to everyone as well