idontremember
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Feb 28, 2024
- Messages
- 106
I didn't know where to post this, I'm sorry. I just picked Kratom.
My background:
I was initially put on suboxone because of a Kratom addiction I developed after getting addicted to prescription opiates (dilauded, percocet, tramadol, etc). I was using the Kratom to get off the opiates/deal with withdrawals after being suddenly taken off a cocktail of dilaudid, percocet, etc to just two percs and 2 tramadol a day. No tapering or anything. My Kratom habit started small and then was multiple extracts a day etc just to feel normal. I stopped getting any pleasurable feeling from Kratom and was just trying to stave off feeling ill.
I went into detox and they put me on 16mg of subs. I'd occasionally try Kratom again and would not get any feeling from it at all or if I took too much, just ill, so I gave up. I was ok for a bit but then found tinapetine and got very addicted to it, very quickly and stopped taking my subs.
After a couple of months I needed to take some tinapetine every two hours to not feel sick. I was barely getting any 'good' feelings anymore, so I started taking the ones with phenibut added. Years ago I had had a phenibut problem but got off of it myself (I thought I was going to die, but I did it alone cold turkey) so I had been avoiding the pills/shots that had both phenibut and tinapetine in then. Well, I started taking them and took too much and the phenibut made me sick, ended up in detox.
I went back on suboxone which didn't work at all until about a month later when suddenly I could feel the subs again, after not taking my subs off and on and them finally going three days without subs. Suddenly subs helped me/I could feel them again. Then I relapsed twice on tinapetine within a couple of weeks of each other but for only a total of about a week altogether. Subs completely stopped working for me again.
It has been over a month since I relapsed (totally was not worth it, barely got high and went through withdrawals even with subs). Subs don't work again. My deadline er barely works. I'm going two days at a time without subs to see. I recently took kratom on my third day without subs and felt nothing so I took more (mit 45) and then just felt sick. It had been around 2 years since I had last tried Kratom, maybe less than 2 years but more than a year. Nada. I ended up taking subs that day to help with the bad kratom side effects. It did help with that. But I have not gone three whole days without subs since mentioned above.
ETA*****I also want to add that I was put on wellbutrin after my 2nd detox. I was on wellbutrin when the subs started working again. I am not on wellbutrin anymore. Should I go back on? I thought maybe the wellbutrin was part of the problem before, but maybe it actually helped?*****
Question: What the fuck have I done to myself? I can barely feel anything. I feel broken. Nothing is working. I'll try going three days without subs but why is my dexedrine even not working properly? Why didn't the Kratom work at all even though it had been over a year since I took it? Possibly two years? Why are my subs still not working? My tinapetine relapse wasn't that bad. Why is my dexedrine barely working? Adderall ER worked even less well, which is why I'm on dex now. Has this happened to anyone else? I'm in such a shitty mental place.
My background:
I was initially put on suboxone because of a Kratom addiction I developed after getting addicted to prescription opiates (dilauded, percocet, tramadol, etc). I was using the Kratom to get off the opiates/deal with withdrawals after being suddenly taken off a cocktail of dilaudid, percocet, etc to just two percs and 2 tramadol a day. No tapering or anything. My Kratom habit started small and then was multiple extracts a day etc just to feel normal. I stopped getting any pleasurable feeling from Kratom and was just trying to stave off feeling ill.
I went into detox and they put me on 16mg of subs. I'd occasionally try Kratom again and would not get any feeling from it at all or if I took too much, just ill, so I gave up. I was ok for a bit but then found tinapetine and got very addicted to it, very quickly and stopped taking my subs.
After a couple of months I needed to take some tinapetine every two hours to not feel sick. I was barely getting any 'good' feelings anymore, so I started taking the ones with phenibut added. Years ago I had had a phenibut problem but got off of it myself (I thought I was going to die, but I did it alone cold turkey) so I had been avoiding the pills/shots that had both phenibut and tinapetine in then. Well, I started taking them and took too much and the phenibut made me sick, ended up in detox.
I went back on suboxone which didn't work at all until about a month later when suddenly I could feel the subs again, after not taking my subs off and on and them finally going three days without subs. Suddenly subs helped me/I could feel them again. Then I relapsed twice on tinapetine within a couple of weeks of each other but for only a total of about a week altogether. Subs completely stopped working for me again.
It has been over a month since I relapsed (totally was not worth it, barely got high and went through withdrawals even with subs). Subs don't work again. My deadline er barely works. I'm going two days at a time without subs to see. I recently took kratom on my third day without subs and felt nothing so I took more (mit 45) and then just felt sick. It had been around 2 years since I had last tried Kratom, maybe less than 2 years but more than a year. Nada. I ended up taking subs that day to help with the bad kratom side effects. It did help with that. But I have not gone three whole days without subs since mentioned above.
ETA*****I also want to add that I was put on wellbutrin after my 2nd detox. I was on wellbutrin when the subs started working again. I am not on wellbutrin anymore. Should I go back on? I thought maybe the wellbutrin was part of the problem before, but maybe it actually helped?*****
Question: What the fuck have I done to myself? I can barely feel anything. I feel broken. Nothing is working. I'll try going three days without subs but why is my dexedrine even not working properly? Why didn't the Kratom work at all even though it had been over a year since I took it? Possibly two years? Why are my subs still not working? My tinapetine relapse wasn't that bad. Why is my dexedrine barely working? Adderall ER worked even less well, which is why I'm on dex now. Has this happened to anyone else? I'm in such a shitty mental place.
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