About 12 hours ago I took a damned sub. And while its quite nice to not be kicking (i try to appreciate every minute I'm not sober) I can't help but feel put off... and a wee bit traitorous for ingesting this nasty little synthetic. Who the hell takes drugs orally these day anyhow??
Originally the goal was to do just this. Sit around in addict limbo so as not to devour ("devour" being a more ambiguous term so as to imply something other than oral administration) the two lovely little scraps of perfectly vintage opiate I have sitting on my dresser that desperately need to be saved for a later date. "Hey," I figured, "Since I am so lacking in self control then I ought to find some artificial means of inducing it." Such is my attitude toward many things in life.
In addition to being a terribly impulsive creature I am also a rather predictable one. So... here I sit as predicted wishing to the opiate gods that I could slam some morphine right this very minute.
Fortunately, complete stupidity has never been one of my many flaws and Im more than aware that I lack the resources to flush my very valuable morphine down the drain that is my currently inhospitable brain.
So here I sit...... counting the minutes until I can return with shame in my heart to the drug I betrayed and temporarily abandoned in an effort to save myself from the pain brought on by his absence. On this night, time exists simply to be waded through.
Originally the goal was to do just this. Sit around in addict limbo so as not to devour ("devour" being a more ambiguous term so as to imply something other than oral administration) the two lovely little scraps of perfectly vintage opiate I have sitting on my dresser that desperately need to be saved for a later date. "Hey," I figured, "Since I am so lacking in self control then I ought to find some artificial means of inducing it." Such is my attitude toward many things in life.
In addition to being a terribly impulsive creature I am also a rather predictable one. So... here I sit as predicted wishing to the opiate gods that I could slam some morphine right this very minute.
Fortunately, complete stupidity has never been one of my many flaws and Im more than aware that I lack the resources to flush my very valuable morphine down the drain that is my currently inhospitable brain.
So here I sit...... counting the minutes until I can return with shame in my heart to the drug I betrayed and temporarily abandoned in an effort to save myself from the pain brought on by his absence. On this night, time exists simply to be waded through.