I actually am prescribed 40 strips(8mg) for two months....It's supposed to be 4mgs a day(half strip), which equals out to 30 strips lasting 60 days. The other 10 strips are just extra for when I feel like taking more...I fold my 8mgs strips into 16ths. I take 1.5mgs at a time, either twice or three times a day. My girlfriend takes .5mgs about 3 times a day. I pay for the whole script and I'm being prescribed pretty much exactly what I use, so gone are the days for me when I had enough for 5 months laying around in the drawer!
It sucks, summer of 2011, my girlfriend and I are lucky to be alive...Our four year dope habit had ballooned to ridiculous levels...I was shooting coke and eating Xanax and Adderall like MandMs...I started fucking with MDPV about 3-4 months before it became illegal....The MDPV and the Xanax are really what pushed me over the edge...How I didn't have a heart attack or stop breathing is a miracle....I was just taking whatever "uppers and downers" were around...If I took to much Xanax, I'd pop 60mgs of Adderall, if I shot too much coke, I take some carisprodol and a half gram shot of dope...I was blacking out from the benzos on top of near stimulant ODs half the time...I was maintaining for years, holding a job...I have no idea how I just went fucking nuts like that!
When I went to detox and rehab, they did that really bad bupe detox that left me in full-blown WDs for 11 days at the end...and I was in rehab at that point...It was an intense rehab with 10 hours of meetings and group sessions all day too! I had a charge pending as the 28 day rehab was ending, so I got stuck with having to go to a 1 year "extended care" place, which ended up just being another fucking rehab! I still felt shaky for the first few months there, and they were fucking ball-busters! I'm honestly lucky I didn't murder someone when I was there...Half the staff that followed us around all day long were in their early 20s...I'm in my thirties...It's 10:30 at night and I'm on the phone with my girlfriend and one of the staff that works their comes over, hangs up the phone and tells me to "go to bed!" There was a baseball bat sitting right there, I was so angry and filled with rage of being disrespected like that, at that moment I would have been totally capable of beating him to death, which fucking scares me! I just went outside and smashed the shit out of a few trees, which hurt me more than the trees...
I left that place though and was off everything...My girlfriend had a place she moved into and was waiting for me out here, she was able to kick with 5 suboxones and a handful of temazepam....
When I went home for a few months and picked up a dope habit, I should have just found a way to kick it fast, but instead I started taking these 2mg subs I had left over...I was down to .5mgs a day, but I decided to get a doctor to give myself longer...Now I've been back on them for a solid 8 months, and my girl is hooked on them again too...
It sucks because I was off everything for over a year and I really had my playing chops back with guitar and singing...You have to play a few hours a day to stay good....How anyone finds the motivation to play when they are on opiates long-term, I have no idea...even on the Suboxone, I just don't have the drive to really focus on it...That's the main reason I wanna get off them...
