FOR ANYONE STOPPING SUB
I wanted to post about what sub WD's feel like. but i dont think it calls for a new thread so i will just post up in the mega thread.
Suboxone has been good to me. it helped me get off my opiate of choice. ( hydrocodone, black tar heroin)
I was not prescribed SUB, i was getting it from the street. the AVG price is 20-30 a pill. I played this game for 6 months almost. 1-2 mg a day depending on how i was feeling. not always having a consistent source. scared as shit that i would get sick without it.
Well i got a call from my "guy" saying that his supply of sub is now ENDLESS.
YES!!!!
WAIT.............
i thought to myself. this will dry up one day. it always does. and will i be in the hole, deeper then i am now? wont it be harder to get off sub 2 years into it. then 6 months? common sense and pressure from my best friend lead me to make the decision that i wanted off sub. better now then ever. right? lol right?
i was taking 1-2 mg a day. for 6 months.
the last month i started lowering dosages, every so slowly. sometimes skipping days. my last final dose was a little under.5mg.....maybe even smaller.
day 1. High spirits. this doesn't seem so bad. but im not stupid. i figure this is due to suboxones very long half life. and right now. my body is running on that. i slept perfectly with some diphen...
day 2. I woke up feeling little slugish. but nothing severe. apatite was non existent but i forced food down, mild to low energy. but still very NORMAL. i knew that the roughness would come the next day. as if i were feeling sluggish right now. the bad shit was about to hit. slept fine with clonazepam(sp?)
day3. OMFG i wake up, and i cannot move. my back is stiffer then a porn stars dick. and i just absolutely FEEL LIKE SHIT. i knew this would be a bad day. i was EXTREMELY lethargic. like i had the worlds WORST flu. my mind was EXTREMELY foggy. and i was a dick, my attitude was bad. and my personality was on hold. this was not me. this was not the me that i was used to....but who did i even become? ugghh today sucked. i barley got through work (18hr shift)i came home. took 1mg clonazepam(sp) and i drank a small cup of hennessy. this made me feel EXCELLENT. like i was NORMAL. i had a nice but small meal. and i hit my bed.
BAD IDEA
i got ABSOLUTELY no sleep. tossing and turning. SEVERE BACK ACHE. anxiety. and just looking at the clock! why aren't the benzos working! ahhhh. i have to be at work in 5 hours, and work for 18 hours! this is gonna suck.
i tossed and turned and suffered from bad bad bad bad back pains.
and omg the FUCKING
RLS! FUCK FUCK thats the worst part IMO.
day 4
today is bad. i have had no sleep. the back pains are HORRIBLE. and i have NO ENERGY. i have to be at work for 15 hours. this is going to suck.
EXTREMELY lethargic. muscle spasms. RLS RLS RLS RLS RLS RLS RLS like a motherfucker.
but i can tell im a little better then yesterday. maybe 5% better. but hey its still better!
I GOT SOME ZANAX for sleep tonight. the other shit wasn't cutting it. but half a zan bar put me OUT. i cannot wait to sleep!
i will report back tomorrow with the rest of the updates!
UPDATE UPDATE UPDATE
So i got home. fairly lethargic and tired from a VERY long day at work. with my meal, i took 1/2 bar of zanax (this would put me out for a day normally) and a small shot of hennessy.
ahhhh feeling good again.
as soon as i hit the bed. i was RIGHT WHERE i was yesterday! NO SLEEP RLS RLS RLS RLS RLS
i got in my bed at 11.45pm and i tossed and turned till 3 am. :-( with absolutely NO sleep.
at this point i had gotten fairly desperate and put the other 1/2 of zanax under my tongue, to let it dissolve and help me get to sleep. this was a move out of desperation.
STILL NO SLEEP!!!!!
SON OF A FUCKING BITCH. i was going insane. at a point. my legs were literally kicking. and the taste of the piece of shit zanax was fucking with my head.
i think around 6.45 am i nodded out. THANK god.
DAY 5
i woke up at 10.30 feeling much better then i had felt the day before. a little more energy. a little more apatite. i think i might be turning the tide. hopefully yesterday was the peak. or at least the end of the peak.
the only thing im feeling right now is MILD lower back pain, and chills and goose bumps. lets see how it goes.
UPDATE UPDATE UPDATE
i spent the day with my best friend. we smoked some CRAZY fuckin weed. got me higher then shit. took my mind off the WD. we went to ROSCOE'S CHICKEN AND WAFFLES in Hollywood. and i had my first huge meal in a while. 9 man that shit is SO good)
getting out and laughing helped a lot (thx bixzzay)
the day went much smoother. chills and major sweating was present. and just this constant ache in the lower back. i stayed home tonight and watched the UFC fight on TV. ( FUCK KIETH JARDEAN)
laying on my couch i noticed this very strange feeling in my legs. not RLS it was different. almost an itch. but it wasn't.
for sleep i took .25mg zanax 10mg ambien an 100mg diphendramine . this might sound like something in excess. but NOTHING was allowing me to sleep.
DAY 6
aching back. very mild, rls.
BUT
WOW i slept 13 hours and i woke up feeling like a new human being. i woke up with color in my skin. i still dont have an apatite. but its growing. i feel like a new person today. i feel waves of happiness come over me. i feel SEMI normal again. the BAD BAD part of the WD is gone. now it is time to start coping with the mental side.
this is for anyone who thinks they cant do it. YOU can. trust me you can. if i can do it you can! im no one special im a normal 24 y o guy who was sick of being a prisoner to a pill.
i HOPE this motivates you and helps you in any way. even just 1 person. then its worth it.
you can do it. you are strong enough.
FUCK THE JUNK MAN
FUCK THAT SKAGGGGGGGG
play on playboy