stupid fucking forums

i was gonna post this in TDS. then i thought i could maybe make an SLR version. but with both i knew... i would get the same fucktarded responses. its always darkest before the dawn. there are other fish in the sea.

what the fuck if ive got extreme impatience not to mention what the therapists love to call anxiety/depression. or ADD. fuck em. just like you all. you offer no real advice for the people that repeatedly get FUCKED by life. i hate life on average 2/3 of the time. that means right away i fuckin dont like where i am. and while im going to sleep i hate where i am.

i always look for a friend. people here are FUCKTARDED OMFG. i need a real conversation. like with people that arent stupid as fuck. i find smart , amzing, girls with fucked up issues inside, just like me, they seem nice, i treat them like princesses, then they fuck me. in the back. ive been stabbed before, big fucking deal. but being stabbed emotionally fucking hurts.

fuck you people leaving me behind after promising to be there.

fuck you people who use me up for my kindness

fuck you people who pull rug out from under me

fuck you family who never taught me shit except fear and confusion

fuck you people everywhere, for not ever fucking listening.

fuck you bluelight, especially TDS, for giving same old bullshit responses: excserseize, find a hobby, etc etc. i bench twice my fucking weight. literally nothing interests me. i go out every night- im in college. i party. i look for people. but they all, all,all, all, all ,all are stupid as fuck, hollow, and fuck me. i eat healthy. i have had like 209384708 friends in my life, and they all are hollow in the end. i used to be a normal popular kid who kept the bullshit inside. im done writing it in private in my notebooks in rhyms and bullshit songs

im drunk as fuck. but that only gives me the clarity(bless CNS depressants ) to tell you fuck you all




i go out in real life, i get fucked. post on internet, no responses that arent repetitive repetitive repetitive . when i first joined i hoped this site would provide answers. just as empty as the world. "just give it time" "theres xxxx out there" no mufucker. i been waiting 19 years. always been missing something inside and out. so what the fuck am i to do

 

yes

 

You have no control over what others do to you, only your own behaviour. If you don't like the sort of people that have been treating you ill, then distance yourself from them. When was the last time that you put effort, serious effort, into improving yourself. Not for anyone else, but for you?

The world owes you nothing. Period. You need to make your own life for yourself, quit identifying as a victim, and improve yourself. Fuck what other people think-- live for you.

Also-- are you only 19? Relax a bit-- things will make more sense in a few years. What I've said still applies, but if you are 19 then chances are you still know everything and won't listen to me anyway.

 

^Great advice.

 

i have distanced myself from everyone. what now? i have no friends, and my family are very very cold people. i like people to distract me from myself....

last year. i stopped cutting and detoxed off the opiates. purely because i wanted to live a more fulfilling life. you know what i have found? every night i feel more unfulfilled cuz i have no friends, no dope in my system, and no way to get rid of the panic inside me.

yeah im 19, i have been in this mindset since i was 5 though. im getting a little fucking impatient. i hve been to therapists for the last 10 goddamn years, hearing this same bullshit in many different forms.

so yeah i do know everything and you sound exactly like an SLR or TDS poster, so thank you.

 

Ok, since you're bored of the same old advice, have you considered contemplating the fact that the only guarantee in life is that it will eventually end? This is not as dire as it sounds - knowing that you're going to die in the end is beautiful IMO.

Look, I know too well what it means to be lonely. If you know anything about me, you'd know why.

But no matter how painful it gets - too much at times, no doubt - I always go back and find solace in the fact that everything in this life - good OR bad, is so temporary and so fleeting and so my pain is seen as temporary and any pleasure I get comes off as a nice surprise.

If you have nothing to lose, then have you considered just packing up (light) and wandering off to an exotic, foreign country? You don't need to spend much and go overseas, you can always hitchhike south and start taking cheap transport once you hit Mexico, and continue as far into latin America as you can? If you can afford drugs today, you certainly can save up for a trip.

Just a suggestion.

Travel has helped me tremendously with my loneliness. Maybe it can help you?