Mental Health Stumbling Over my Words.

[Get2Think]

I need help. I need to hire a voice coach. I stumble over my words to the point of sounding autistic/blatantly ADD/ or downright dumb. Like many others, I can't stand the sound of my voice (very nasally w/ a stoner like draw and high pitched). In other words, I sound like a stoner-dork. I'm 5 months sober but 10 years of marijuana use and 8 years of alcohol have taken their tole. I use to be incredibly witty, funny, and quick with words. Now I often can't even form a correct sentence without stumbling over my words, or using "like" "uhm" etc. It's extremely embarassing and for a 27 year old male, it's not fun to sound 18-19.

My plan is to practice neck posture and I have been able to produce a deeper sounding voice but it requires slight strain and an almost flexing of my neck. I'm hoping to turn this into how I always talk. As for the ridiculous draw and stoner sounding voice. I'm not sure what to do as I am quite an intelligent person but I'm very slow and quite thick. I can't think and talk very good at the same time. I love talking, almost to the point of diahhrea, I know a lot of ADD people have this same problem. When they are excited or feeling really good they want to talk talk talk, and it becomes manic. This wouldn't be a problem if I had a nice voice, but I don't. I graduate college soon and feel like having a strong voice would compliment my strong body and overall professionalism. But how do I stop sounding like a stoner? How many years of sobriety before this changes. Do I need to get on Adderall or Ritalin to clear my head and allow me to talk/think more properly? I don't want to rely on medication to live but if it will help me to function better I think it's worth it.

I have also noticed that my mind gets stuck on loops and constantly repeats some exerpt I've heard during that day whether it's a song, or a line in a movie, or whatever. While lying in bed, trying to go to sleep, my mind will repeat it over and over and over and over like a broken record. To stop this (my minds natural state) I have to concentrate on nothingness and sustain this concentration. Sobriety is allowing me to really see myself for who I am and how I think. And it's somewhat alarming, and I am not so oblivious to my ADD like I was before.

I guess my plan is this: To talk less, and when I do talk, pause, clear my throat, and speak in as deep a tone as possible without sounding intentional. I will try my best to not stumble over my words, but this is disheartening and I'm not sure what to do. You know whats ironic about this whole thing? I'm a frecking Communication major

 

[Get2Think]

I think I'm going to try again to become the Strong & Silent type. Although for someone like myself with ADD, this is a near-impossible task. I see no other option other than hiring a voice coach and getting on ADD medication. Is it too much to ask to sound like man damnit!?! I look like man-child do I really have to sound like one too? Fuck.

 

[michael]

i think you'd be better off spending the effort to become more comfortable with your own voice than making the effort to speak in a different voice - and i say this as someone with a weird voice compounded by a thick philadelphia accent.

 

[ad lib]

I'm not a fan of my voice either. I'm a 21 year old female and often times get told I sound (all of these have been said to me): "very young", "like I'm in kindergarten", "too passive", "weak". It messes up my self esteem and makes me extremely self conscious especially since for work I have to talk to people all day, every day, fo 8 hours a day.

I've tried various things to make my voice sound different- posture, actively (trying to) deepening it so I sound more assertive, etc. I've found posture/neck position to be the biggest help. I don't think it's too necessary to go to a speech or voice coach, but rather just practice speaking more clear. Record yourself speaking with your normal posture/head & neck position and then in the new position just to see the difference. If you practice something that works for you and make a conscious effort to practice what works, soon it will be second nature.

I've hated my voice for years. I've learned I have to try and love it because it's part of me, but self improvement has never hurt anyone.

 

[blode]

I know what you're on about. Good tactics are this:

Pause and formulate a sentence before you speak. You might find it weird not answering a question straight away but people don't really notice it. Just practice your diction and elocution and eventually you'll start to sound less stoner-like. It's all about making it into a habit.

 

[herbavore]

I think your best bet is a two pronged approach and they have both been advocated here already, albeit separately. Go ahead and try to work on your voice as it seems to be important to you, but make sure that you keep the overly critical part of your self-talk in check. Most likely others do not judge your voice with the same negativity that you superimpose on it. Still, if it will make you more comfortable, then work to change it.

 

[Get2Think]

Yeah thanks guys I really shouldn't beat myself up like I do. And like you said there are ways to improve it.