im sorry you feel the need to hold a grudge against me. im sorry that for so long it was me you were blaming for holding a grudge when really im the one who wanted all of this to go away.
im sorry you cant take responsibility for what happened and the choices you made. im sorry that i told someone you smashed a phone in my face and they put me in the baptist home.
im sorry that other people told their guidance counselors at school about the bruises on my face which helped you lose custody of me otherwise we would have had intense counseling. im sorry that you called the police to the house five times in six months because you and david were physically fighting which also helped me get taken away.
im sorry that i was the child and you were the adult.
im sorry that my father was dying, you were going nuts, and david was making you that way so i rebelled like any normal teenager would. im sorry i wasnt strong enough to push through back then and be the perfect daughter.
im sorry i always have an opinion.
im sorry you can only see your own pain in this. im sorry that for so long after this all happened i lied to you saying that it wasnt that bad and that i shouldnt have been taken away because i wanted my mom back. im sorry that i cant say anything about how you were in fear that youll hold that against me too.
im sorry you believe i "labeled" you, even though i had no part in all of that. im sorry the court system took over and saw that maybe you did have some problems that you refused to admit so they thought you were crazy.
im sorry that you grew up in a messed up home. im sorry for what you had to go through and that i was too young to realize that you needed help too.
im sorry i hated you back then for being so self absorbed. im sorry for loving you so much now that i cant lie to you anymore about what really happened.
im sorry that your mind does gymnastics to truly believe your made up versions of how things really happened. im sorry that your mind is unable to cope with everyday negative emotion.
im sorry that we cant be closer and that i believe we never will be. im sorry that i feel the need to write this for my own sanity. im sorry that i cant tell you these things face to face without getting extremely angry with you. im sorry that i am angry with you about something i dont want to even think about anymore.
im sorry im not scared of you anymore.
im sorry that after all this time you feel wronged by me. im sorry that at such a young age you put me in situations that were unnecessary, situations you'll never admit to and have probably already blocked out of your mind.
im sorry you feel i "back stabbed" you even though i was only looking out for my own well-being because i know you werent. im sorry your husband left you and that somehow i think you blame me for that too.
im sorry you can only see through your eyes and how you believe your perspective is the ONLY perspective. im sorry that i was the mistake that bumped you into welfare. im sorry that i was the daddy's girl.
im sorry that in some ways im exactly like you, no matter how much you disagree with that disgusted look on your face, otherwise we'd get along a lot better.
im sorry that i have all the pieces of you that you dislike about yourself.
but i still love you mom.
i always will.
im sorry you cant take responsibility for what happened and the choices you made. im sorry that i told someone you smashed a phone in my face and they put me in the baptist home.
im sorry that other people told their guidance counselors at school about the bruises on my face which helped you lose custody of me otherwise we would have had intense counseling. im sorry that you called the police to the house five times in six months because you and david were physically fighting which also helped me get taken away.
im sorry that i was the child and you were the adult.
im sorry that my father was dying, you were going nuts, and david was making you that way so i rebelled like any normal teenager would. im sorry i wasnt strong enough to push through back then and be the perfect daughter.
im sorry i always have an opinion.
im sorry you can only see your own pain in this. im sorry that for so long after this all happened i lied to you saying that it wasnt that bad and that i shouldnt have been taken away because i wanted my mom back. im sorry that i cant say anything about how you were in fear that youll hold that against me too.
im sorry you believe i "labeled" you, even though i had no part in all of that. im sorry the court system took over and saw that maybe you did have some problems that you refused to admit so they thought you were crazy.
im sorry that you grew up in a messed up home. im sorry for what you had to go through and that i was too young to realize that you needed help too.
im sorry i hated you back then for being so self absorbed. im sorry for loving you so much now that i cant lie to you anymore about what really happened.
im sorry that your mind does gymnastics to truly believe your made up versions of how things really happened. im sorry that your mind is unable to cope with everyday negative emotion.
im sorry that we cant be closer and that i believe we never will be. im sorry that i feel the need to write this for my own sanity. im sorry that i cant tell you these things face to face without getting extremely angry with you. im sorry that i am angry with you about something i dont want to even think about anymore.
im sorry im not scared of you anymore.
im sorry that after all this time you feel wronged by me. im sorry that at such a young age you put me in situations that were unnecessary, situations you'll never admit to and have probably already blocked out of your mind.
im sorry you feel i "back stabbed" you even though i was only looking out for my own well-being because i know you werent. im sorry your husband left you and that somehow i think you blame me for that too.
im sorry you can only see through your eyes and how you believe your perspective is the ONLY perspective. im sorry that i was the mistake that bumped you into welfare. im sorry that i was the daddy's girl.
im sorry that in some ways im exactly like you, no matter how much you disagree with that disgusted look on your face, otherwise we'd get along a lot better.
im sorry that i have all the pieces of you that you dislike about yourself.
but i still love you mom.
i always will.