Snake_Eyes
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Aug 14, 2011
- Messages
- 1,522
I hope it works out for you. Mine won't even give me anything but anti-depressants because he knows that I use the dangerous highly addictive drug that is marijuana.
I don't know where you live, but isn't this illegal? Where I live, a doctor would certainly lose his license to prescribe CNS active medications if he got caught prescribing opioids for a psychological disorder...
I had an accident last year and ended up with uncontrolled anxiety. It was so bad I had to leave my wife. I was losing weight because I couldn't sleep. It took me a full day (as many hours as I could keep from passing out plus weekends) to keep up with work. I was very fortunate to work for someone that has been flexible enough to let me work this way. I've been to half a dozen doctors, psychiatrists and I have been seeing a therapist.
Nothing helped. Benzos would take the edge off enough to tolerate being conscious, but were making me too sluggish to concentrate on anything. SSRIs made the anxiety worse initially and then had little effect.
Last December, a friend gave me Kratom to try. Kratom is a leaf that is crushed and can be consumed with a glass of water or put in capsules that has opiate like effects. It worked. For the first time in 6 months, I felt normal. Kratom is currently legal in all but a few states. It is inexpensive and can be purchased from a number of sites on line. I've been using it now for 8 months. I use 3 grams twice a day, one in the morning and once around 2pm. I have been able to move home with my wife and can generally keep up with work and life. As is typically the case in the US, there are groups that are trying to outlaw Kratom. If this happens, I will have to work with my psychiatrist to replace the Kratom with something else. The only thing that will probably work is some kind of opiate.
In any case, for anyone suffering from severe anxiety, you may want to try Kratom. The particular strain I use is from Bali. It is most common and least expensive. It cost me about $40/month to use. Do your research before trying anything. Perhaps consult your doctor. For me this has literally save my life.
I suppose I could provide some background...
I self-medicated with Opiates for 3 years. Primarily Hydrocodone and Morphine (although I've used Hydro/oxymorphone, Oxycodone and Tramadol (I know it's only a partial). Hydrocodone and Morphine were just what I found most therapeutic. Whether it makes sense or not, I found them equally potent as well and the Morphine more subtle. I never developed a tolerance until the end of that third year, which is when I quit taking them.
Before that I had tried...
3 SSRI's - Escitalopram, Paroxetine, Sertraline
2 SNRI's - Duloxetine, Venlafaxine
1 NDRI - Buproprion
Mirtazapine (I can't recall which class it falls under)
And Benzo's??
Diazepam, Lorazepam, Clonzaepam, Restoril (only at night of course), Alprazolam, even the old school Chlordiazepoxide.
So then my self-medicating began. And then it ended roughly 3 years later.
I first started seeing my current Psych a few months after the cessation of Opiate use but I didn't quit Opiates because I ever stole, hurt or did anything harmful to anyone to get them, I quit because I was tired of the self-medicating game.
In the two years I have been seeing my Psych, after there was some trust established, we ventured in ADD medications since my whole life my family and I have thought I had ADD/PI and that a lot of my anxiety symptoms could be caused from that and never treating it directly. So I tried Adderall (both instant and XR), Dexedrine & Desoxyn. For it's reputation, Desoxyn was actually the most subtle and you really have to want to get stuff done when on it since it is (essentially) pure D-Amp but an additional methyl group making it more potent than Dexedrine. Although, some would say Dexedrine was more "potent" since there is a bit more PNS stimulation with it. And I know for a fact a lot of people would find Adderall more "potent" because of it's 25% PNS stimulation. I guess it just depends on how you determine potency. Anyways, the Amphetamines helped for awhile but ultimately, I didn't feel that the pro's of using an Amphetamine long term outweighed the con's.
One of my closest friends landed in Rehab for a spiraling Heroin addiction, I've known people who have died from OxyContin OD's. I understand the danger of Opiates in terms of addiction and slow destruction of life. I am not delusional and I do not lack self-control. If anything, these last few years has taught me more about self-control then I ever imagined I could attain. I could easily get into a pain clinic and start self-medicating again but I told myself the only way I was going to use Opiates again is if it was monitored by my Doctor and we kept weekly appointments and documented everything precisely. I do not think I am naive for wanting to tried controlled use of Opiates for my condition, in fact, I think it is very realistic... For me! Will it work? Maybe, maybe not. If I have a shot at trying it though, I have thought about it very much and will take that shot.
I've been working on DBT for the last 6 months as well and am starting a 6 month course of EBT next month. I constantly practice breathing techniques, especially diaphragmatic breathing, to help when Anxiety levels rise. I strength train 5 days a week and have been into weight training/bodybuilding for 5 years now. Yoga & Meditation I truly try my best to advance in. There's a martial arts school near me which also teaches these classes, along with Tai Chi, which is amazing. Point being, I know that it is not just up to the drugs to help change things.
I'm all about healthy body/healthy mind! I know my decision to try Opiate therapy may seem odd to some or maybe a hopeless attempt at masking my Anxiety but all meds are a mask and we try to work through our real problems while wearing that mask, so we can slowly take it off. I just haven't found any other medications that touch my own issues the way Opiates do. I feel like for a lot of people the only reason they use drugs, whether prescribed or not, is because they have become so detached from the world (due to a plethora of reasons) and are seeking a way to become more in tune with it. If that makes sense. Obviously exogenous Endorphins will propel "happiness" at a faster rate than normal but so do most drugs, whether it's Endorphins, Serotonin, Norep or Dopamine. My only goal is to find the lowest Opiate dose possible and see if it works well over time without needing to increase the dosage.
Hi there,
I see that you are having loads of negative reaction to your idea of using opiates to relieve depression. People just seem to be bleating out what they read in the media. What they don't seem to have experienced it the excruciating pain of long term depression and anxiety.....and then had this totally relived by an opiate. It makes one question what Big Pharma are actually up to with ineffective classes of antidepressants.
I am just one step further than yourself with regard treating my Bipolar Disorder with opiates. I am actually doing it. I still use other medication as a base but will wean off them if I find that I don't develop tolerance and dose escalation over time.
I have been on the traditional meds for 20 years and stumbled across the opiates only last year. Like yours, my doctor trusts my insight, intelligence and intuition. I asked him for an opiate for an old rugby injury that flared up after a gym session. I wanted to use an opiate out of curiosity for their effectiveness on pain.
He prescribed me OxyNorm (which regular release oxycodone here in South Africa). About 90 min after taking 10 mg of OxyNorm I was completely pain free, but for the first time in my life I was depression and anxiety free. I felt incredible. My mood was elevated and I experienced some euphoria as I was newbie to opiates. I was absolutely amazed and overjoyed that SOMETHING had given relief for the first ever. My next dose was 5 hours later and I took another 10mg. This just seemed to maintain the effect of the first dose.
I used the OxyNorm for 5 days and during that time I was completely free of all mental anguish and physical pain that also stemmed from it. A few days later I went see my doctor again and told him about the effect of the Oxycodone. He agreed that it was a highly effect antidepressant and it and its analogues were underutilized in psychiatry. I asked if I could continue using Oxycodone for my depression. He gave me all the pros and cons and ultimately let me decide. He said that if he was going to prescribe an opiate he was more comfortable with morphine.
So to cut a long story short I have been using morphine twice daily for past 4 months without a dose escalation. I AM COMPLETELY DEPRESSION & ANXIETY FREE.
I feel if opiates give you the relief you feel you want then go ahead and use them. We have one life and to spend it in misery and pain is absolutely pointless. I believe we must do what we can do to find peace and happiness in our lives. If that involves taking a drug them so be it. Forget all the judgements and opinion from the armchair experts and do what you need to do.
I couldn't agree with you more. I have been put on many psych meds for PTSD anxiety and depression none have worked the only thing that works for me is taking my prescribed pain medication and my prescribed Klonopin those two have change my life for the better unfortunately there are consequences to both drugs.
I suppose I could provide some background...
I self-medicated with Opiates for 3 years. Primarily Hydrocodone and Morphine (although I've used Hydro/oxymorphone, Oxycodone and Tramadol (I know it's only a partial). Hydrocodone and Morphine were just what I found most therapeutic. Whether it makes sense or not, I found them equally potent as well and the Morphine more subtle. I never developed a tolerance until the end of that third year, which is when I quit taking them.
Before that I had tried...
3 SSRI's - Escitalopram, Paroxetine, Sertraline
2 SNRI's - Duloxetine, Venlafaxine
1 NDRI - Buproprion
Mirtazapine (I can't recall which class it falls under)
And Benzo's??
Diazepam, Lorazepam, Clonzaepam, Restoril (only at night of course), Alprazolam, even the old school Chlordiazepoxide.
So then my self-medicating began. And then it ended roughly 3 years later.
I first started seeing my current Psych a few months after the cessation of Opiate use but I didn't quit Opiates because I ever stole, hurt or did anything harmful to anyone to get them, I quit because I was tired of the self-medicating game.
In the two years I have been seeing my Psych, after there was some trust established, we ventured in ADD medications since my whole life my family and I have thought I had ADD/PI and that a lot of my anxiety symptoms could be caused from that and never treating it directly. So I tried Adderall (both instant and XR), Dexedrine & Desoxyn. For it's reputation, Desoxyn was actually the most subtle and you really have to want to get stuff done when on it since it is (essentially) pure D-Amp but an additional methyl group making it more potent than Dexedrine. Although, some would say Dexedrine was more "potent" since there is a bit more PNS stimulation with it. And I know for a fact a lot of people would find Adderall more "potent" because of it's 25% PNS stimulation. I guess it just depends on how you determine potency. Anyways, the Amphetamines helped for awhile but ultimately, I didn't feel that the pro's of using an Amphetamine long term outweighed the con's.
One of my closest friends landed in Rehab for a spiraling Heroin addiction, I've known people who have died from OxyContin OD's. I understand the danger of Opiates in terms of addiction and slow destruction of life. I am not delusional and I do not lack self-control. If anything, these last few years has taught me more about self-control then I ever imagined I could attain. I could easily get into a pain clinic and start self-medicating again but I told myself the only way I was going to use Opiates again is if it was monitored by my Doctor and we kept weekly appointments and documented everything precisely. I do not think I am naive for wanting to tried controlled use of Opiates for my condition, in fact, I think it is very realistic... For me! Will it work? Maybe, maybe not. If I have a shot at trying it though, I have thought about it very much and will take that shot.
I've been working on DBT for the last 6 months as well and am starting a 6 month course of EBT next month. I constantly practice breathing techniques, especially diaphragmatic breathing, to help when Anxiety levels rise. I strength train 5 days a week and have been into weight training/bodybuilding for 5 years now. Yoga & Meditation I truly try my best to advance in. There's a martial arts school near me which also teaches these classes, along with Tai Chi, which is amazing. Point being, I know that it is not just up to the drugs to help change things.
I'm all about healthy body/healthy mind! I know my decision to try Opiate therapy may seem odd to some or maybe a hopeless attempt at masking my Anxiety but all meds are a mask and we try to work through our real problems while wearing that mask, so we can slowly take it off. I just haven't found any other medications that touch my own issues the way Opiates do. I feel like for a lot of people the only reason they use drugs, whether prescribed or not, is because they have become so detached from the world (due to a plethora of reasons) and are seeking a way to become more in tune with it. If that makes sense. Obviously exogenous Endorphins will propel "happiness" at a faster rate than normal but so do most drugs, whether it's Endorphins, Serotonin, Norep or Dopamine. My only goal is to find the lowest Opiate dose possible and see if it works well over time without needing to increase the dosage.
U cant be on opiates for ever it only temperarily relieves it but it will be worse in the fututre also the withdrawal symptoms u will face will make u wish u never got dependant ur doctor is an idiot. Weed is much better for the 2 without hellish withdrawal symptomsHi there,
I see that you are having loads of negative reaction to your idea of using opiates to relieve depression. People just seem to be bleating out what they read in the media. What they don't seem to have experienced it the excruciating pain of long term depression and anxiety.....and then had this totally relived by an opiate. It makes one question what Big Pharma are actually up to with ineffective classes of antidepressants.
I am just one step further than yourself with regard treating my Bipolar Disorder with opiates. I am actually doing it. I still use other medication as a base but will wean off them if I find that I don't develop tolerance and dose escalation over time.
I have been on the traditional meds for 20 years and stumbled across the opiates only last year. Like yours, my doctor trusts my insight, intelligence and intuition. I asked him for an opiate for an old rugby injury that flared up after a gym session. I wanted to use an opiate out of curiosity for their effectiveness on pain.
He prescribed me OxyNorm (which regular release oxycodone here in South Africa). About 90 min after taking 10 mg of OxyNorm I was completely pain free, but for the first time in my life I was depression and anxiety free. I felt incredible. My mood was elevated and I experienced some euphoria as I was newbie to opiates. I was absolutely amazed and overjoyed that SOMETHING had given relief for the first ever. My next dose was 5 hours later and I took another 10mg. This just seemed to maintain the effect of the first dose.
I used the OxyNorm for 5 days and during that time I was completely free of all mental anguish and physical pain that also stemmed from it. A few days later I went see my doctor again and told him about the effect of the Oxycodone. He agreed that it was a highly effect antidepressant and it and its analogues were underutilized in psychiatry. I asked if I could continue using Oxycodone for my depression. He gave me all the pros and cons and ultimately let me decide. He said that if he was going to prescribe an opiate he was more comfortable with morphine.
So to cut a long story short I have been using morphine twice daily for past 4 months without a dose escalation. I AM COMPLETELY DEPRESSION & ANXIETY FREE.
I feel if opiates give you the relief you feel you want then go ahead and use them. We have one life and to spend it in misery and pain is absolutely pointless. I believe we must do what we can do to find peace and happiness in our lives. If that involves taking a drug them so be it. Forget all the judgements and opinion from the armchair experts and do what you need to do.
An amazing first post. My experiences are the same. I've gone on Oxycodone for polyneuropathy and have finally gotten relief from lifelong depression as a side effect. Although to be honest in the past I've used Kratom for depression relief but didn't use it on a regular basis out of fear of addiction. Now I have no choice but addiction.
^pretty sure even if it did help it would be worse when u stopped taking them. And i dont believe at all that it helps anxiety, iv come to expect a little anxiety on certain opiates. That to me is like using opiates for naseua
Feeling high and mighty behind your keyboard? Lol it doesnt take a life times experiance to know basic education on opiates and drugs, and what does driving have to do with drugs at all? Seems like ur just talking shit for no reasonDid you ever consider, in your meager 16 years of life experience, that some people might be willing to suffer worse symptoms later in order to alleviate their depression now?
And I love how you simply hand-wave the anxiety part and compare it to "taking opiates for naseua (sic)". Just because you feel anxiety on opioids, doesn't mean anyone else does. I'd care about your opinion if I didn't know that you're a teenager, barely old enough to drive, with about 1/30th my experience.