TDS Struggle and virtuosity.

[RobotRipping]

I know that all good things in life come from suffering and struggle.

In school i am suffering and struggling badly, is it because i am stupid or that it really takes that much effort to achieve something worthwhile? Why is this universe set up so that anything worthwhile requires one to break themselves into a million pieces and somehow get it together and the end result is amazing?

I am studying electronic engineering and most things come easily to me. The understanding of circuits and electricity in theory is easy to me but the hands on part of it where i build these circuits, measure them and all that, i can't grasp the fucking concepts and it kills my self esteem. Is this the struggle that will make me a better person if i keep at it? or is it a better decision to do something that comes easy to me (like the theory/math behind it)? Those are my two options in the near future and i have to pick one, theory or practical.

Are all things great, worth the struggle or am i just fucking myself over by struggling so hard? for example, mozart, while he knew his music, shit came easy to him, he didn't struggle like other composers. I'm thinking of the movie amadeus here, where his counterpart works his ass off only to get laughed at by mozart lol. And mozart is out fucking girls, living it up and just makes the most amazing melodies ever heard. I feel like the other guy who works his ass off for nothing.

This relates to my studies as i work my ass off while i see others grasp it immediately, i feel like a moron and i hate it. How do i deal with this? just put my head down and work my ass off and hope for the best? or find something else that i grasp easily?

maybe this isn't a great thread for the darkside but i am getting some really dark feelings about this. After a bad day of class where my prof insults/demeans me over and over i feel like fucking killing myself right then and there.

TL;DR: when struggling do you sometimes find yourself spinning your tires, like your car is stuck in the show and there is no way in hell you're gonna get it out? How do you deal with that when you know you're spinning your tires and you're stuck?

 

[Disraeli_Beers]

TL;DR: well as an engineer it is your job to get the job done. Doesn't really matter how you do it, I prefer the most efficient way cuz I'm lazy. You can do it honestly or dishonestly, all up to you. (same applies for school)

When I kicked my dope habit in '09 and decided to go to engineering school it was fuxking tough for a while... Actually it still is. But I'm used to it now. It doesn't get any better, but you'll get better; in fact that's the real point of school, you either figure out how to make it work or fail.

So if you don't give up, and don't spin your tires for the sake of showing people you're spinning your tires then you'll make it, one way or another.

Also, I know I had to learn general study habits. I was used to just getting everything right off the bat, never had to work hard to learn something until my first physics class. Sitting down, reading the book, taking notes and then using those notes to finish the homework is my key. I don't depend on anyone to teach me shit, cuz half the time they're not that good at teaching. If you make it your personal prerogative to learn everything there is to know about circuit theory and design you'll be a stud if an engineer. Also pretty much anything worth knowing is located on the Internet, usually in multiple places including YouTube, khanacademy, torrent trackers (free textbooks!), ect. The only challenge is making yourself take the time to understand.

Btw your chosen path is bad ass, im electrical engineering major myself. 4 more quarter and im good to go! (fingers crossed) Keep up the good work, it'll pay off!

 

[RobotRipping]

Yeah i see your point about going through it honestly or dishonestly, the job just has to get done. I can't depend on my instructors to teach me shit because they are useless, i basically show up to get my assignments and do them myself. I guess i just made my post because i was irritated that my circuit theory and fabrication instructor is an asshole to me. He knows i already have a degree and just shoved it in my face when i failed one of his tests.

I guess i have to work harder and make it my passion to learn everything about circuit theory. math, logic, and all that shit but i am so fucking lazy. When i get home i just want to do nothing but get high. In class we are working with these god damn bread boards making psuedo circuit boards and my instructor just doesn't show me shit so in a practical test he fucked me good and failed me, even though i did eventually figure it out on my own.

yeah it's a great field of study, electrical is basically the same but with big dangerous amounts of electricity and from what i hear is a bit more difficult. It's going to just look bad on my transcript when i have 3 80-90 marks and 2 60-65 marks but fuck it, gotta keep trying, eventually i'll figure it out, hopefully anyway.

i just can't fail something because i'm stupid, i just can't comprehend that i am not able to do this but i have been struggling, with reading/writing papers i am awesome, i can handle the math too, i just need to grasp the fundamentals of how electricity works and how these god damn bread boards we use (they are like pseudo circuit boards) actually work, cause no one showed me but expected i knew everything about them..

anyway thanks for the post. I'm glad to hear another addict has gone down a similar path and is doing it. Some days i feel great about it other days i want to come home and kill myself. just gotta keep my eye on the prize i guess.