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Strong attractions

L

lostsoul.On.E

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May 21, 2009
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I've been in a relationship now for almost two years with my Girl. I love her, she loves me and we've been doing pretty good so far.

Now the thing that bugs me sometimes is the strong attraction to other women. I go to college and there's just really attractive girls and I can't help but get this urge to fantasize about these women and sometimes wish I could get to know them better etc..

I just get confused. Are these strong attractions to other women just part of being a man? Like is it in my DNA to crave a hot woman even though I'm in a happy healthy relationship, or is there a deeper meaning as to why I get these urges for other women?

I know you guys can't read my mind and pinpoint the true answer. I'm just looking for people's experiences on this, or the Phycological aspect to it because sometimes I feel if I was truly happy I wouldn't be fantasizing about other women.
 
It's really nothing to worry about! Of course you can still be physically attracted to other people even while in a healthy and loving relationship. If I were you though, I'd just make sure those fantasies stayed exactly that, and didn't cross over into reality.
 
Hah.. sorry man. Those might never go away. Even if you're with a really hot chic whose got a great personality, you're really happy, etc... A lot of us guys still fantasize about what we haven't had yet.. As long as you just keep those as thoughts and not act on them, aka cheating.. You don't need to feel guilty.

Can't control you're first thought.. but you can control what you do about it.
 
Pagey said:
It's really nothing to worry about! Of course you can still be physically attracted to other people even while in a healthy and loving relationship. If I were you though, I'd just make sure those fantasies stayed exactly that, and didn't cross over into reality.
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Exactly! They are natural!
I have had fantasies about other males and females!! And I know my boyfriend has his own fantasies about other people as well. It doesn't mean we love each other any less.
 
You can be in healthly, happy relationship and fantasize. In fact you can act upon these thoughts too, in a healthy and happy way by coming to some sort of agreement with your partner.

Yes, I realize that many people find this cconcept distasteful and are unwilling to negotiate that kind of arraignment, but I mention it counter the statement that ONLY fantasy without action can be healthly. There is no intrinsic reason why this should be true, and such claims tend to.be nothing but an argument by assertion.
 
It's completely normal. Men and women do that, although many won't admit it.
 
rangrz said:
You can be in healthly, happy relationship and fantasize. In fact you can act upon these thoughts too, in a healthy and happy way by coming to some sort of agreement with your partner.

Yes, I realize that many people find this cconcept distasteful and are unwilling to negotiate that kind of arraignment, but I mention it counter the statement that ONLY fantasy without action can be healthly. There is no intrinsic reason why this should be true, and such claims tend to.be nothing but an argument by assertion.
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This is true! I think my first post indicated that fantasies should ONLY stay fantasies. But I agree with rangrz - if you and your partner mutually agree that they can become reality - then go for it. It can be healthy and fun.
I did presume you were in a monogamous relationship (as most people are). If you ARE in a monogamous relationship then it is important to keep those fantasies as just fantasies. But if you are interested in an open type relationship, then that is always an option :)
 
yes we're in a monogamous relationship and I would like to stay that way. I wouldn't want to share my girl with another man so Id like to keep it that way. I doubt myself sometimes so that's the problem when I see myself getting attracted to other women. But I've never been a cheater and couldn't do that. I have never really been in a situation to cheat but I couldn't have that on my conscience. It would eat me up
 
llama112 said:
This is true! I think my first post indicated that fantasies should ONLY stay fantasies. But I agree with rangrz - if you and your partner mutually agree that they can become reality - then go for it. It can be healthy and fun.
I did presume you were in a monogamous relationship (as most people are). If you ARE in a monogamous relationship then it is important to keep those fantasies as just fantasies. But if you are interested in an open type relationship, then that is always an option :)
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Of course if you've agreed to monogamy it's important to adhere to that. But I wouldn't say that adhering to monogamy is important in a unique/privileged sense. Its important to keep your promises/word/agreements with your partner no matter what they are. If is to be monogamous or if it's to try SCUBA diving with your partner, I see them as equally important to keep, and equally detestable to break.
 
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