• Welcome Guest

    Forum Guidelines Bluelight Rules
    Fun 💃 Threads Overdosed? Click
    D R U G   C U L T U R E

⭐️ Social ⭐️ Stimulant psychosis, how far down the rabbit hole have you fallen?

guy1234

guy1234

Bluelighter
Joined
Jan 8, 2010
Messages
299
Location
Cambridge
Interested to hear other people's experience

My psychosis always took many forms:

The standard Law enforcement/secret service bugging me, hiding in my room, following me. One day when the police DID actually come to arrest me I almost cried with relief that it was finally happening. They were really nice to me because I was so cooperative and pleased to see them

Hyper realistic (like as in I saw as I am seeing things with my normal eyes now) visual and audio hallucinations of lynch mobs coming for me, plotting to break in and kill me outside my doors, leading me to stand completely stationary holding my lock for 4-5hours + only breaking to redose, idiot. This one took up about a year of my life almost permanently

People I was with actually only being paid to be there to "monitor" and study me so I could be committed to a facility (ironic)

Waging endless wars with my computer which I thought was watching me, diving into endless parts of the computer i didnt understand. Probably fucking up system files and settings etc. Every dialogue box that came up was so visually mentally distorted that I read each one as threats and messages from hackers, secret service etc

And on the more harmless side:

spending hours chatting and chilling with a person or group people in a location only to come to in a different location and realise I was completely alone and always had been for hours and hours

Becoming so psychotic when browsing on my laptop that I actually started to "visit" sites. As in went in a door, walked around to shop on the site, walking through different links to different levels etc

Probably the worst its ever been i had something very similar to a dissociative hole but maybe even stranger. It was maybe day 6 up on amphetamine and I was at my house. Then my entire mind just "drifted" into a level of psychosis where I was entirely in my head in some convoluted psychosis land. Forgot who I was, had no visual or mental link with reality, just sliding and drifting and twisting through weird psycho states and corridors of schizo. Came to about a mile from my house standing in the courtyard of an old barracks about 20-30 mins later

Needless to say much of this had a really negative impact on my life and especially on loved ones. I shudder to think how I survived through those years. Still suffer after effects to this day

Anyone else had a particularly frightening and intimate history with psychosis?
 
Im a IV Meth user, And when i first started using 3 years ago,i was going ham. I was doing gram shots of meth, like 4 times a day. i would peeking out of the blinds, convinced everyone was out to get me. The one bender i was on lasted 17 days no sleep. Everything was alright until day 5. The shadow people weren't in the shadows anymore, they were full blown hallucinations by this point because i was seeing and talking to people that weren't there. They had faces and slowly worked outta the shadows. I hit day 14 and i was mixing a shot in my room, when all the sudden i saw my shadow person i refer to as frank ,peeking just around my door frame. I was so convinced he was there, i decided to take a picture to prove it to my one homie and when i clicked to take the picture, my fucking flash went off and next thing i know, my shadow person lunged at me. I ended up in my closet with my loaded hunting rifle on day 15, 16, and 17. I thought my grandmother come in my house i heard her but i was sadly mistaken , open my closet door with rifle in hand and what do ya know? Frank lunges at me again..so I fire my hunting rifile at him. Resulting me sending a bullet into my downstairs neighbors apartment. (THANK GOD THEY WEREN'T HOME)

My psychosis is especially bad because I'm a paranoid schizophrenic. So my schizophrenia goes balls to the wall and its 10000× worse then when i'm sober. This experience taught me not to stay up past day 3. I got evicted and I'm still homeless because of my psychosis getting out of control. I do less in my shots now. I haven't had a psychosis episode since that night. It's been 2 years. Learned my lesson.
 
Spunwithchanceofpsychosis said:
Im a IV Meth user, And when i first started using 3 years ago,i was going ham. I was doing gram shots of meth, like 4 times a day. i would peeking out of the blinds, convinced everyone was out to get me. The one bender i was on lasted 17 days no sleep. Everything was alright until day 5. The shadow people weren't in the shadows anymore, they were full blown hallucinations by this point because i was seeing and talking to people that weren't there. They had faces and slowly worked outta the shadows. I hit day 14 and i was mixing a shot in my room, when all the sudden i saw my shadow person i refer to as frank ,peeking just around my door frame. I was so convinced he was there, i decided to take a picture to prove it to my one homie and when i clicked to take the picture, my fucking flash went off and next thing i know, my shadow person lunged at me. I ended up in my closet with my loaded hunting rifle on day 15, 16, and 17. I thought my grandmother come in my house i heard her but i was sadly mistaken , open my closet door with rifle in hand and what do ya know? Frank lunges at me again..so I fire my hunting rifile at him. Resulting me sending a bullet into my downstairs neighbors apartment. (THANK GOD THEY WEREN'T HOME)

My psychosis is especially bad because I'm a paranoid schizophrenic. So my schizophrenia goes balls to the wall and its 10000× worse then when i'm sober. This experience taught me not to stay up past day 3. I got evicted and I'm still homeless because of my psychosis getting out of control. I do less in my shots now. I haven't had a psychosis episode since that night. It's been 2 years. Learned my lesson.
Click to expand...
Wow that's an intense situation. Reminds me a little of when I was in a hotel room once and people kept jumping at me every time I turned round, thank god guns aren't legal here lol

Yeah definitely find after 5 days shit really gets real. Also found that the more years of psychosis I endured the less time it took to come on. By the end I'd do my first shot of the session and it'd begin low level after that first dose

Can imagine your condition makes this so much more amplified, sorry to hear how tough its made stuff for you
 
I have a bunch of stories, but one of them that happened last year, I thought my neighbors hacked my wifi. I even went next door to confront them about it, because I could hear them all talking next door, luckily no one answered the door.
 
Spunwithchanceofpsychosis said:
Im a IV Meth user, And when i first started using 3 years ago,i was going ham. I was doing gram shots of meth, like 4 times a day. i would peeking out of the blinds, convinced everyone was out to get me. The one bender i was on lasted 17 days no sleep. Everything was alright until day 5. The shadow people weren't in the shadows anymore, they were full blown hallucinations by this point because i was seeing and talking to people that weren't there. They had faces and slowly worked outta the shadows. I hit day 14 and i was mixing a shot in my room, when all the sudden i saw my shadow person i refer to as frank ,peeking just around my door frame. I was so convinced he was there, i decided to take a picture to prove it to my one homie and when i clicked to take the picture, my fucking flash went off and next thing i know, my shadow person lunged at me. I ended up in my closet with my loaded hunting rifle on day 15, 16, and 17. I thought my grandmother come in my house i heard her but i was sadly mistaken , open my closet door with rifle in hand and what do ya know? Frank lunges at me again..so I fire my hunting rifile at him. Resulting me sending a bullet into my downstairs neighbors apartment. (THANK GOD THEY WEREN'T HOME)

My psychosis is especially bad because I'm a paranoid schizophrenic. So my schizophrenia goes balls to the wall and its 10000× worse then when i'm sober. This experience taught me not to stay up past day 3. I got evicted and I'm still homeless because of my psychosis getting out of control. I do less in my shots now. I haven't had a psychosis episode since that night. It's been 2 years. Learned my lesson.
Click to expand...
Isn't the world record 11 days 25 minutes?

I mean after day 5 on a meth binge I wouldn't trust my memory anyways. Might feel like 17 days.
 
December Flower said:
Isn't the world record 11 days 25 minutes?

I mean after day 5 on a meth binge I wouldn't trust my memory anyways. Might feel like 17 days.
Click to expand...
Maybe Frank wouldn't let him use the phone to report it to guiness? Either way people have stayed up far longer than 11 days

People with familial fatal insomnia essentially stop sleeping at some point until they die of dementia which can take months
 
guy1234 said:
Maybe Frank wouldn't let him use the phone to report it to guiness? Either way people have stayed up far longer than 11 days

People with familial fatal insomnia essentially stop sleeping at some point until they die of dementia which can take months
Click to expand...
As someone who works with dementia every day I gotta correct you here, the death from fatal insomnia doesn't come from alzheimers,
and it's not the cause of death. Even someone as young as 20 years old can have FFI.

But the symptoms aren't "Be awake for 1 year and then die", depending on how serious the disease,
the insomnia will get gradually worse. There will still be sleep, at least in the early stages.
At some point, usually when the short and rare periods of sleep stop, it usually causes a coma, shortly before death.
3 months to a maximum of one year is usually the lifespan of people after this diagnosis.

FFI is genetic, and sFI is random, has naught to do with dementia,
but pretty cruel when combined with it.

As to people that have stayed awake longer than 11 days.. I think they do sleep, they just don't realise it because it happens in split-second
 
I’ve never really had an episode of meth psychosis in 20 years, although I have had two long episodes of psychosis related to bi-polar when I was drug-free for a few years.

The worst I got was one night after 4 day binge and my hearing got super sensitive and I thought I could hear ants and bugs walking across my wooden bedroom floor. But I knew I was hallucinating the whole time and kind of tripped on it until it got boring and I seroquelled myself to sleep.

But just lately I keep thinking I see my dog peering around corners giving me the evil eye when I’m smoking. It’s kind of annoying cause I have to keep getting up to go tell her to mind her own business but she’s usually asleep at the other end of the house.

It might be the thin end of the wedge but I figure I’ll start worrying if she starts talking to me.
 
December Flower said:
As someone who works with dementia every day I gotta correct you here, the death from fatal insomnia doesn't come from alzheimers,
and it's not the cause of death. Even someone as young as 20 years old can have FFI.

But the symptoms aren't "Be awake for 1 year and then die", depending on how serious the disease,
the insomnia will get gradually worse. There will still be sleep, at least in the early stages.
At some point, usually when the short and rare periods of sleep stop, it usually causes a coma, shortly before death.
3 months to a maximum of one year is usually the lifespan of people after this diagnosis.

FFI is genetic, and sFI is random, has naught to do with dementia,
but pretty cruel when combined with it.

As to people that have stayed awake longer than 11 days.. I think they do sleep, they just don't realise it because it happens in split-second
Click to expand...
Interesting, thanks for the info. I had thought that after a certain point of progression sleep just stopped entirely for a few months before death and that the brain deteriorates into a dementia type state because all your memory forming pathways and whatnot had broken down (using ignorant language here lol)?
 
guy1234 said:
Interesting, thanks for the info. I had thought that after a certain point of progression sleep just stopped entirely for a few months before death and that the brain deteriorates into a dementia type state because all your memory forming pathways and whatnot had broken down (using ignorant language here lol)?
Click to expand...
In later stages that is what happens, but there's usually a lot of build up.
In most cases it starts quite mildly, but the insomnia will get progressively worse, until there is no sleep at all.
However, such a long time without sleep will almost always trigger a "waking coma", at least in everyone of the cases I have read about and one I have seen myself.(don't forget this is exceptionally rare)
The body cannot handle the stress of the autonomic nervous system/the body in general degrading further and further.

But you are right that it degrades the brain as well, of course,
and I have heard it being described as dementia, at least in the end.
It's not Alzheimer's, but the symptoms are very similar.
 
I have had probably dozens of "episodes" over my time of meth use. ( I am the local chef if you will ) but my psychosis is usually fueled by zero sleep and felony warrants for my arrest. Pretty much every single time the sun goes down I think I see lights following me, like there's always a car coming at the edge of view. That and bugs. Cuz I'm real sure they are real... Btw I boot around a g and a half or 2 gs daily... I'm sure that doesn't help my fragile mind....
 
MDPV was the worst for me. Witnessed actual people do horrible and violent things while on it, too. PTSD inducing things. Thank God that was over a decade ago and I no longer consider myself to have PTSD from it. Stimulants are no joke. Now the only stimulants I take produce a roll. Extremely rare to touch a strait stimulant these days.
 
I'm relatively stable mentally, despite having used & abused various drugs for 50 years.
However, staying up for days on meth will make anybody crazy. Never did anything dangerous, but at one point I was convinced that Bluelight was an undercover police operation.
"BLUElight! How could I have been so blind!"......I was certain that cops were coming to get me for everything I'd ever said on this site.
True story.
😂😂
 
simstim said:
MDPV was the worst for me. Witnessed actual people do horrible and violent things while on it, too. PTSD inducing things. Thank God that was over a decade ago and I no longer consider myself to have PTSD from it. Stimulants are no joke. Now the only stimulants I take produce a roll. Extremely rare to touch a strait stimulant these days.
Click to expand...
Shooting MDPV for 3 days with my ex ended in a massive fight where we were throwing plates at eachother.... fighting.... doing all sorts of wild shit. Also thought my brother in law trying to flag my car down was trying to kill me. Mdpv gets bad
 
I had one pretty severe episode where I completely lost my shit and ran around outside looking for someone who wasn't missing, after 4 or 5 days awake on regular amphetamine sulphate. When I got back home, the Shadow Peeps showed up and tried to stitch my eyelids and my mouth shut.
I could actually feel their hands and that dull needle piercing through my skin, and despite thinking "this is just drug induced madness", I freaked out and popped at fistful of various pills to fall asleep.

I haven't had any binges or races longer than a day since, and I don't think I will tbh.
 
Last edited:
tubgirl.jpg said:
I had one pretty severe episode where I completely lost my shit and ran around outside looking for someone who wasn't missing, after 4 or 5 days awake on regular amphetamine sulphate. When I got back home, the Shadow Peeps showed up and tried to stitch my eyelids and my mouth shut.
I could actually feel their hands and that dull needle piercing through my skin, and despite thinking "this is just drug induced madness", I freaked out and popped at fistful of various pills to fall asleep.

I haven't had any binges or races longer than a day since, and I don't think I will tbh.
Click to expand...
I think experiences like that are more realistic than most people could imagine. I've been through some similar things myself.
 
Thought that everyone I've met throughout my 24 years of life was onto me. Ultra-paranoid after my mother texted me out of the blue; from there I began apologizing to a bunch of random people from my past on social media for past misdeeds, etc... I thought my final judgement day was coming, that's the best way to put it. To this day I refuse to dose above 120mg of addy due to that serious internal discomfort and fear (I was on 230mg in under 12hr, I.R.) Also, thought everything in my house "wasn't clean enough" and spent 36 hours straight on "organizing" which was essentially me rotating/moving around different objects on desks/etc... Totally psychotic while completely detached from reality & what was actually going on.
 
ive have not been too far but have witnessed ''paranoid skitzophrenic''. Invisible high tech paramilitary experiences and once the dude thinking someone had attached a trailer to the car he was driving (i was in it) then pulling over to go around the car and check for said trailer.

old mate didnt even have to be on it. He'd tweaked himself so properly that he was living in it/in and out of it all day every day.


He eventually came back from this too. Took yearssssssss though and if he used it at any point whilst coming back from it years later, hed drop straight into the same kind of thing within 2-3 weeks of use.

Absolutley fried he was.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top