desertracer543
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Mar 5, 2012
- Messages
- 61
I'm writing this post because I kinda feel alone. Not that I'm completely alone and don't have any support or doctor to refer to, but because this has been probably the worst drug experience in my life, aside from when I used to abuse stimulants and deal with those deathly comedowns (6 years sober now).
Sunday evening I went to urgent care for an issue with my ear/potential hearing loss and tinitus. They gave me a 10mg IV of Decadron. This is a steroid. I thought nothing of it, and was given no warnings of side effects. I will never take a new drug from a doctor again without researching to say the least.
I woke up Monday morning and once i started going through the motions, i noticed my heart was just pounding. I checked my heart rate and it wasnt alarmingly fast - maybe a little faster than normal, but the pounding was strong. The longer I was standing up the more weak I felt, and I became consumed by a extreme phsycial state of panic, which spiraled into extreme mental panic, because I didnt know what was going on.
The only thing that helped was if i laid down, so my body didn't have to put much effort into pumping my blood or whatever was going on. I felt absolutely gutted to the point I cried a little.
By the time i laid down and actually thought about it I KNEW it was a reaction to the steroids. So I kinda just decided to ride it out for the day and see what happens, I couldn't even get myself to go back to the urgent care cuz of how weak I felt...The fact that my heart rate wasn't going too fast is probably the only reason i stayed home.
Through the day i kinda just laid there like a vegatable. Doing some breathing exercises and watching instagram reels all day.
My appetite felt strange. Like i wasnt sure when if i was hungry or full. Or i would not feel full after eating. Sleep was difficult.
BTW they had also perscribed me presnidone (another steroid) to begin taking on Monday. However I absolutely did not do that, with the way I was feeling.
Tuesday comes around, pretty much the same feelings but to a slightly lesser extent. A little less poudning of the heart. But what was new is that I began to feel sore and achey. I was emotional. My irritability and anxiety was a 10 out of 10.
I went back to urgent care in the after noon, they checked my electrolytes and basically told me i just have to ride it out. I asked for a 1 or 2 day supply of a benzo out of absolute desperation but they didnt even give it a thought (not surprised - also angers me that i was suffering because of them!)
It's insane to me the way I felt. Like my only way of trying to feel better was talking to my mom. You know sometimes you can get some relief through complaining (lol). But I would do that, and it wouldnt matter. My insides were screaming, I became angry, and i felt what i would describe as "roid-rage". I never in this world wouldvve thought that I would go through something like this. I was an emotional wreck. I cried a couple more times in brief.
The thing about this experience is that the pain and especially the dysphoria is so intense that you become super aware of time. and as a result time goes by slowly. Just heighting the suffering
Chest tightness, panic state. Absolutely RAW nasty feeling that is comparable (or worse) to the times when i bascically overdosed on methamphetamine years ago.
Eventually I made it onto my treadmill and walked 3 miles. That helped a bit.
Got a better night sleep last night. Woke up with some night sweats at one point.
Today my body and ming still feels mangled. My mental and phsycial endurance is still limited but at least i was able to drive my dog to the park, get on my treadmill and do some actual work on my business.
It's been getting progressively better. But then this afternoon comes and chest tightenss comes back, heart burn, anxiety, nasty body feeling. And now my GI has this weird burning sensation. I took a couple tums and had some ginger lemon warm tea. Helped a little.
Did I say this SUCKS? LOL
Now im preparing for bed...
I know since every day has gotten a little better, I'm nearing being back to myself but this is just insane. I know my reaction is on the extreme side probably, but based on what i read this is a very volatile drug and should probably not be given to people with anxiety or at high risk mental states.
Had i done my research and known this literally effects your stress hormones (cortisol) then I would never had taken it - especially considering i'm at peak anxiety already and been trying to work through it. It's literally a HELL DRUG for people with anxiety.
Fuck me, im tired but wired. Hopefully i can fall asleep and restart a litttle better tomorrow. It's scary, but ill make it through.
Sunday evening I went to urgent care for an issue with my ear/potential hearing loss and tinitus. They gave me a 10mg IV of Decadron. This is a steroid. I thought nothing of it, and was given no warnings of side effects. I will never take a new drug from a doctor again without researching to say the least.
I woke up Monday morning and once i started going through the motions, i noticed my heart was just pounding. I checked my heart rate and it wasnt alarmingly fast - maybe a little faster than normal, but the pounding was strong. The longer I was standing up the more weak I felt, and I became consumed by a extreme phsycial state of panic, which spiraled into extreme mental panic, because I didnt know what was going on.
The only thing that helped was if i laid down, so my body didn't have to put much effort into pumping my blood or whatever was going on. I felt absolutely gutted to the point I cried a little.
By the time i laid down and actually thought about it I KNEW it was a reaction to the steroids. So I kinda just decided to ride it out for the day and see what happens, I couldn't even get myself to go back to the urgent care cuz of how weak I felt...The fact that my heart rate wasn't going too fast is probably the only reason i stayed home.
Through the day i kinda just laid there like a vegatable. Doing some breathing exercises and watching instagram reels all day.
My appetite felt strange. Like i wasnt sure when if i was hungry or full. Or i would not feel full after eating. Sleep was difficult.
BTW they had also perscribed me presnidone (another steroid) to begin taking on Monday. However I absolutely did not do that, with the way I was feeling.
Tuesday comes around, pretty much the same feelings but to a slightly lesser extent. A little less poudning of the heart. But what was new is that I began to feel sore and achey. I was emotional. My irritability and anxiety was a 10 out of 10.
I went back to urgent care in the after noon, they checked my electrolytes and basically told me i just have to ride it out. I asked for a 1 or 2 day supply of a benzo out of absolute desperation but they didnt even give it a thought (not surprised - also angers me that i was suffering because of them!)
It's insane to me the way I felt. Like my only way of trying to feel better was talking to my mom. You know sometimes you can get some relief through complaining (lol). But I would do that, and it wouldnt matter. My insides were screaming, I became angry, and i felt what i would describe as "roid-rage". I never in this world wouldvve thought that I would go through something like this. I was an emotional wreck. I cried a couple more times in brief.
The thing about this experience is that the pain and especially the dysphoria is so intense that you become super aware of time. and as a result time goes by slowly. Just heighting the suffering
Chest tightness, panic state. Absolutely RAW nasty feeling that is comparable (or worse) to the times when i bascically overdosed on methamphetamine years ago.
Eventually I made it onto my treadmill and walked 3 miles. That helped a bit.
Got a better night sleep last night. Woke up with some night sweats at one point.
Today my body and ming still feels mangled. My mental and phsycial endurance is still limited but at least i was able to drive my dog to the park, get on my treadmill and do some actual work on my business.
It's been getting progressively better. But then this afternoon comes and chest tightenss comes back, heart burn, anxiety, nasty body feeling. And now my GI has this weird burning sensation. I took a couple tums and had some ginger lemon warm tea. Helped a little.
Did I say this SUCKS? LOL
Now im preparing for bed...
I know since every day has gotten a little better, I'm nearing being back to myself but this is just insane. I know my reaction is on the extreme side probably, but based on what i read this is a very volatile drug and should probably not be given to people with anxiety or at high risk mental states.
Had i done my research and known this literally effects your stress hormones (cortisol) then I would never had taken it - especially considering i'm at peak anxiety already and been trying to work through it. It's literally a HELL DRUG for people with anxiety.
Fuck me, im tired but wired. Hopefully i can fall asleep and restart a litttle better tomorrow. It's scary, but ill make it through.
