Step 1: Reservations, Question 2

associate -
  • allow oneself to be connected with or seen to be supportive of
  • [ intrans. ] meet or have dealings with someone commonly regarded with disapproval
(source: MAC OS X Dictionary Application)

Do I think I can still associate with the people connected with my addiction? Can I still go to the places where I used? Do I think its wise to keep drugs or paraphernalia around, just so I ‘remind myself’ or test my recovery? If so, why?

04/07/10 3:15 PM


I just got my computer back from having it repaired and used that as an excuse to not answer questions. I have the computer back now so I no longer have an excuse. I actually WANTED to do some writing on these questions but it seems that I need to have things a very certain way in order to do some things.

Back to the question...

Do I think I can still associate with the people connected with my addiction?
Yes I do. Listen, its not like I’m going to seek out the people I used with but I have no intention of avoiding them or attending barbecues or events that they may have. Granted, I have no intention of hanging out very long at any particular gathering but I will most certainly poke my head in to say ‘hey!’.

So far, since being clean, I have been to the bar twice. One was just to say hello to a couple girls from my past that I re-connected with on Facebook. The other was a ‘mini’ high school reunion gathering. I didn’t stay long and there was minimal discomfort.

Now, I’m not an idiot. If I’m invited to a particular picnic (or whatever) during this nice weather, I’m not going to go if I’m in a bad spot mentally.

I refuse to turn into one of those dudes that looks down his nose from insecurity and lack of strength/program at those who still get high. Not everyone has a problem with drugs and alcohol. I do.

Can I still go to the places where I used?
I live in the place where I used. I typically scored my shit, went home and shot drugs until they were all gone. I rarely went out and used socially.

Do I think its wise to keep drugs or paraphernalia around, just so I ‘remind myself’ or test my recovery?
Fuck no!!!! I’d be high as a motherfucker before you could even say ‘motherfucker if I did that.
 
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