When did I first recognize my addiction as a problem? Did I try to correct it? If so, how? If not, why?
02/25/10 5:04 PM
In 1993 I was living with my parents and I was hardcore into snorting coke. I had injected before (2 separate year long stints) but I didn’t know how to shoot up at the time (someone else always played ‘the doctor’).
Anyway, I remember tucking my dog in to bed (he was a cocker spaniel that had this big , blue pillow that he slept on at night) and I started crying because I was contemplating suicide. A voice in my head said ‘You stupid fuck. You want to die but you haven’t even made an attempt at trying to live.’
The next day I told my mom that I had a drug problem and I needed to go to rehab.
I went to rehab 12/09/93 for two weeks, completed an Intensive Outpatient Program, attended three or four NA meetings a week, had a few sponsors that I really didn’t use and stopped going to meetings after about 2 or 3 years.
I managed to stay clean for 5 years before I relapsed for another five years.
At the end of this relapse I had been to Philly jail twice within a month. The last time in jail I heard this dude in the cell next to me yelling ‘But I have 8 years clean! How the fuck you arresting me for drunk driving.’
I was released at the same time as this guy and his wife drove me home. I asked him to be my sponsor and I repeated the same pattern (3 or 4 meetings a week for a few years). I was clean for another five years and relapsed again.
For the details of this particular relapse, refer to the previous question.
02/25/10 5:04 PM
In 1993 I was living with my parents and I was hardcore into snorting coke. I had injected before (2 separate year long stints) but I didn’t know how to shoot up at the time (someone else always played ‘the doctor’).
Anyway, I remember tucking my dog in to bed (he was a cocker spaniel that had this big , blue pillow that he slept on at night) and I started crying because I was contemplating suicide. A voice in my head said ‘You stupid fuck. You want to die but you haven’t even made an attempt at trying to live.’
The next day I told my mom that I had a drug problem and I needed to go to rehab.
I went to rehab 12/09/93 for two weeks, completed an Intensive Outpatient Program, attended three or four NA meetings a week, had a few sponsors that I really didn’t use and stopped going to meetings after about 2 or 3 years.
I managed to stay clean for 5 years before I relapsed for another five years.
At the end of this relapse I had been to Philly jail twice within a month. The last time in jail I heard this dude in the cell next to me yelling ‘But I have 8 years clean! How the fuck you arresting me for drunk driving.’
I was released at the same time as this guy and his wife drove me home. I asked him to be my sponsor and I repeated the same pattern (3 or 4 meetings a week for a few years). I was clean for another five years and relapsed again.
For the details of this particular relapse, refer to the previous question.