07-25-2008 07:48
Can you believe i filtered the remains of blood left in old syringes and shot it? What the fuck is wrong with me?
07-25-2008 11:59
hey everyone. thanks for being there for a stranger. I just want and want and want. I hav e tears right nowbecause I was given two opportunities to get well and I did good at first but now opportunities should go to those who can make a go of it. I don't deserve anymore chances.
I took about 6 150mg lyricas, 8 ativans and 5 hydrocodones. I tried to shoot tese pills but wasn't successfull so just slurped up the mucus looking shit from the spoon.
I so wan ted to be someone who could help others but I cant get past the pain of not being high. I'm so fucking cowardly and needy.
I'm a 37 year old boy. I;m tired of being a burden and source of shame to my parents. I really wanted to help others. Fuck! I have no insurance. How do I get into rehab without insurance?
Can Ativan, hydrocodone and lyrica kill a person? I have access to 100mg morphine that I snorted before but cant find info on shooting it.\
I don't know what to do. I have a dog that loves and relies on me (i love and rely on him too). Will he be okay if i check out?
I don't feel hurt or pain, just emptiness and I hate it. I used to help people now I need the help. Fuck, what woman would consider being with such a weak man?
07-25-2008 12:35
popped 6 more ativan, 6 more 150mg lyrica, 2 hydrocodone and 2 unknowns with a b12 shot in my ass. I'm hoping the vodka will assist in knocking me out quicker. I sure would love to feel a high before I zonk.
Never really got into pills but this may help
07-25-2008 13:02
Agreed,5 more lyrica and 3more ativan should knock me out. i think i may be killing myself. i rewally wanted to show lovento the loveless and show that we are all family and we can all be wwell with siupport from othjers of like minde. I cantttype, my focus and mtosklls are off
07-26-2008 19:07
I made it worse by stealingh his pills. I have 3 100mg Kadian{morphine pills) tht I want to inject. I'm gonna use a mortal and pestle to grind it and then research its solubility.
I'm cut off from coke. Now I'm going to have to get shady. I used to be a kind person
07-27-2008 16:26
Well, my roomate came home and found me laying on the living room floor. I threw up a bunch and about an hour later paramedics and the police were at my door.
There's a light at the end of the tunnel. My folks called the police to check up on me since I hadn't returned any of their calls, hence, a visit from the paramedics.
After I got back from the hospital, I called them and told them everything (my constant IV use, my debt, my unpaid bills, etc) This is one of the things that was fucking me up about getting help. I didn't want them to worry.
The decision has been made to move b ack east and go to rehab. I'll have some loot from selling my place so I can get a cheap apartment after rehab. I won't be leaving for 3 weeks and my dad says that even if the house doesn't sell by then, my realtor can still do all the work to get it sold even though i'll be in a different state.
Thanks BL, all of you have been helpful (addicts like me don't listen to good advice).
I have good friends back east and I know where all the NA meetings are.
This IV shit certainly fucks with a persons world
07-29-2008 10:54
Hitting an NA meeting today. I'm actually excited abut it (shaved this morning an everything!). I plan on hitting a meeting in the city. I remember suburban meetings tended to be just people complaining about there boyfriends/girlfriends and not the pure obsession and bullshit that comes from heavy use
My boy hooked me up with a single hit yesterday. Kind of was a waste, i don't think one of anything works for folks like us.
I'm not looking forward to packing and driving cross country with my dad but, once i get back to famil,iar, caring friends and faces it'll be worth it. I'll miss my dog when i get to rehab (i know, it sounds stupid). I even think there will be better job oportunities since the only bridges i've burned are out here in colorado
07-30-2008 01:11
Dude was insisting last week that he get at least 4k by this Thursday. I told him straight up that i couldn't pay him until i sold my house. He wasn't happy but accepted it. I feel like a dick because he apparently needed the loot to pad his visit to his son who isn't doing so well in another state. The kids been in and out of the hospital.
Dudes leaving friday and will be back monday. This works out for me since he's the only connect i know (well, i know another dude but the shit is garbage and i don't have any money anyway)
I'm questioning my honor, though. I won't be in colorado when the house is sold and wonder if i WILL send him money when i get it. It seems too easy to blow off.
I'm looking into a realtor that can handle everything concerning selling my place while i'm in PA. Thats what realtors do though, right? I hope so. if all goes as planned, i'll be in rehab and won't be able to do shit concerning the house.
I also called a buddy back east who says he could use me at his restaurant when i get done with inpatient. I haven't worked in a kitchen in YEARS and it hardly pays but it'll be low stress compared to what i was used to when i was working.
Oh, i never went to the NA meeting i was so psyched to attend. Fuckin' drank vodka like an asshole instead.
Can you believe i filtered the remains of blood left in old syringes and shot it? What the fuck is wrong with me?
07-25-2008 11:59
hey everyone. thanks for being there for a stranger. I just want and want and want. I hav e tears right nowbecause I was given two opportunities to get well and I did good at first but now opportunities should go to those who can make a go of it. I don't deserve anymore chances.
I took about 6 150mg lyricas, 8 ativans and 5 hydrocodones. I tried to shoot tese pills but wasn't successfull so just slurped up the mucus looking shit from the spoon.
I so wan ted to be someone who could help others but I cant get past the pain of not being high. I'm so fucking cowardly and needy.
I'm a 37 year old boy. I;m tired of being a burden and source of shame to my parents. I really wanted to help others. Fuck! I have no insurance. How do I get into rehab without insurance?
Can Ativan, hydrocodone and lyrica kill a person? I have access to 100mg morphine that I snorted before but cant find info on shooting it.\
I don't know what to do. I have a dog that loves and relies on me (i love and rely on him too). Will he be okay if i check out?
I don't feel hurt or pain, just emptiness and I hate it. I used to help people now I need the help. Fuck, what woman would consider being with such a weak man?
07-25-2008 12:35
popped 6 more ativan, 6 more 150mg lyrica, 2 hydrocodone and 2 unknowns with a b12 shot in my ass. I'm hoping the vodka will assist in knocking me out quicker. I sure would love to feel a high before I zonk.
Never really got into pills but this may help
07-25-2008 13:02
Originally Posted by PARooolller
dude you're killing youself...an IV coke habit differs a lot from other substances in regards to obcession, addiction, etc....
Rehab it up bro....It's the only thing that's going to help you...Popping 6 ativan, 6 lyrica, and drinking is only going to make your situation worse...good luck bro and take the advice from a lot of experienced members on this board...keep us updated on what you decide to do but I'm pretty sure you'll be asleep soon
Agreed,5 more lyrica and 3more ativan should knock me out. i think i may be killing myself. i rewally wanted to show lovento the loveless and show that we are all family and we can all be wwell with siupport from othjers of like minde. I cantttype, my focus and mtosklls are off
07-26-2008 19:07
Originally Posted by brainbug
you wrote that your guy is cool - maybe you should tell him whats up as soon as possible & tell him to cut you down.
and then go to rehab.
for sure thats not a nice perspective, but i think thats the best you can do.
I made it worse by stealingh his pills. I have 3 100mg Kadian{morphine pills) tht I want to inject. I'm gonna use a mortal and pestle to grind it and then research its solubility.
I'm cut off from coke. Now I'm going to have to get shady. I used to be a kind person
07-27-2008 16:26
Well, my roomate came home and found me laying on the living room floor. I threw up a bunch and about an hour later paramedics and the police were at my door.
There's a light at the end of the tunnel. My folks called the police to check up on me since I hadn't returned any of their calls, hence, a visit from the paramedics.
After I got back from the hospital, I called them and told them everything (my constant IV use, my debt, my unpaid bills, etc) This is one of the things that was fucking me up about getting help. I didn't want them to worry.
The decision has been made to move b ack east and go to rehab. I'll have some loot from selling my place so I can get a cheap apartment after rehab. I won't be leaving for 3 weeks and my dad says that even if the house doesn't sell by then, my realtor can still do all the work to get it sold even though i'll be in a different state.
Thanks BL, all of you have been helpful (addicts like me don't listen to good advice).
I have good friends back east and I know where all the NA meetings are.
This IV shit certainly fucks with a persons world
07-29-2008 10:54
Hitting an NA meeting today. I'm actually excited abut it (shaved this morning an everything!). I plan on hitting a meeting in the city. I remember suburban meetings tended to be just people complaining about there boyfriends/girlfriends and not the pure obsession and bullshit that comes from heavy use
My boy hooked me up with a single hit yesterday. Kind of was a waste, i don't think one of anything works for folks like us.
I'm not looking forward to packing and driving cross country with my dad but, once i get back to famil,iar, caring friends and faces it'll be worth it. I'll miss my dog when i get to rehab (i know, it sounds stupid). I even think there will be better job oportunities since the only bridges i've burned are out here in colorado
07-30-2008 01:11
Dude was insisting last week that he get at least 4k by this Thursday. I told him straight up that i couldn't pay him until i sold my house. He wasn't happy but accepted it. I feel like a dick because he apparently needed the loot to pad his visit to his son who isn't doing so well in another state. The kids been in and out of the hospital.
Dudes leaving friday and will be back monday. This works out for me since he's the only connect i know (well, i know another dude but the shit is garbage and i don't have any money anyway)
I'm questioning my honor, though. I won't be in colorado when the house is sold and wonder if i WILL send him money when i get it. It seems too easy to blow off.
I'm looking into a realtor that can handle everything concerning selling my place while i'm in PA. Thats what realtors do though, right? I hope so. if all goes as planned, i'll be in rehab and won't be able to do shit concerning the house.
I also called a buddy back east who says he could use me at his restaurant when i get done with inpatient. I haven't worked in a kitchen in YEARS and it hardly pays but it'll be low stress compared to what i was used to when i was working.
Oh, i never went to the NA meeting i was so psyched to attend. Fuckin' drank vodka like an asshole instead.