STDs and a sex life?

[What 23]

In any event, there's a vaccine so there's little reason it should be as widespread as it is.

The vaccine has not even been in circulation but about 7-8 years, if I'm not mistaken.

 

[iLoveYouWithaKnife]

All because of a "less than 1% chance".

What are you saying here? That there's a less than 1% chance that you would pass your viruses to someone else? Where exactly are you getting this statistic from??

 

[Shimmer.Fade]

I know that nowadays in places of decent medicine we can control the amount of HIV/HSV in a person to the point where they are more or less non-contagious if they stick to their medication and safe sex practices.

There are also tons of people who carry HSV-1 or 2 and never become symptomatic. About 85-92% of all people here in Germany carry HSV-1.

 

[atara]

HIV/HSV

These infections are not even close to comparable. HIV is still a medical emergency; HSV can resolve without treatment.

From experience , sometimes honesty is not the best policy.

I do not tell any partners I have anything, if I do not have breakouts.

Just do not have any sexual contact while you're breaking out.

When I found out I had contracted these I cried, thought my life would be over, what would I do if I find a good man in my future, how would I tell him, etc.

I just find that it's better to not tell them. So many people can have these stds and not even know for years.

Don't let it bother you so much, just do your thing; treat your breakouts with valtrex, antibiotics, or get the HPV warts burned off.

Infection can be transmitted while the carrier is asymptomatic; some people are asymptomatic forever but nonetheless spread herpes. Your actions put your partners at risk.

http://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s11908-000-0084-y

"Genital herpes is usually transmitted by persons with subclinical infection, whether entirely asymptomatic or with unrecognized symptoms. "

 

[Dr. J]

There isn't a blood test for hpv or herpes. If your asymptomatic you're asymptomatic. So yeah....I forgot my point.....time to go back to the bottle then to jerking off.

Actually, this is wrong and you're spreading bad information. There is, in fact, several Herpes blood tests available. As technology has advanced, so to has the specificity and reliability of these tests. There is one known as Herpes Select and I believe a few other labs (which any doctor can draw up orders for) will distinguish between Type I and Type II. While it's true Type II is most often associated with genital herpes, there have been increasing rates of Type I genital herpes due to the increase in oral sex. Yes, giving a blow job while having a cold sore (or history of one) can pass along the virus to your partner. These newer tests look at IgG antibodies are should be considered much more reliable than IgM tests which are notorious for false positives - especially for those who have had mono or chickenpox. The gold standard for Herpes and Type testing is the Western Blot - the same type of test used to confirm HIV diagnosis in patients who initially test positive on a screening test. The Herpes Western Blot test is current conducted at the University of Washington so you have to facilitate your blood draw and get the sample there.

As with most things - knowing your own status can have a real impact on the spread of the disease. Most HIV infections are spread during the "window" period when a person's viral load is astronomically high and would actually show up as negative on many screening tests. (Most HIV tests are accurate at about the 6 week mark - a special DNA PCR test which actually measures HIV itself and not antibodies can identify a positive result within a week of becoming infected).

And, when you go in for your regular check ups and ask for an std panel/screen, herpes is rarely included. Even as a gay male I've had to specifically make sure I have both the HSVI IgG and HSV2 IgG antibody test done as well. So, just because someone says they had a test and are clean, you might want to dig a bit deeper and ask if they were tested for Hepatitis, Herpes, Syphilis, and swabbed for DNA culture of HPV, or if they simply peed in a cup to screen for Gonorrhea and Chlamydia along with a semi accurate HIV screening test.

It's your health. In the gay world, it's just easier to assume every contact is positive or has something until you get confirmation otherwise. It takes two to tango and both partners bear responsibility in ensuring a safe sexual encounter. And, to their credit, gay folk do tend to sero-sort, a process by which knowing one's own status means you'll only engage with others with the same status/virus. This makes "the talk" a genuine non issue and removes some of the stigma. I still know gay friends who'd pick HIV over herpes, which blows me away, but it's funny how we treat a twice a year cold sore in our genitals - however painful or uncomfortable - as a the worse of a sometimes terminal, and very costly disease which will completely - albeit more slowly these days - break down your body.

Got off on a bit of a rant - sorry about that. But, please, get tested - and demand from your doctor to be tested for everything you want so that you can be informed. Hell, one of my boyfriends and I went in together when we first began dating and getting serious and it allowed us to be open and honest with each other on another level and have a grown up conversation about the risks of sex whilst not in the throws of passion seconds before insertion.

Here is a great link to information about Herpes and where I source some of the information in my post. In re-reviewing the site, it actually reports DNA culture of the blister itself is the most accurate/sure fire way to know if its Herpes and its type. However, if there isnt enough DNA present, the blister has now scabbed over, etc, you can get a false negative. Which brings us back to the blood tests. Read it, share it with others. Excellent info. http://depts.washington.edu/herpes/faq.php

 

[missmeyet?]

I know that nowadays in places of decent medicine we can control the amount of HIV/HSV in a person to the point where they are more or less non-contagious if they stick to their medication and safe sex practices.

There are also tons of people who carry HSV-1 or 2 and never become symptomatic. About 85-92% of all people here in Germany carry HSV-1.

I am not just picking on you but this is addressed to the several posters above you also, if you state statistics please, please list the source...the guy above admitted he was just pulling them out of his ass and no, for most people, that is not ok. This is an important topic so please list your sources.

 

[missmeyet?]

I have so much compassion and empathy for those of you who are suffering, not only physically from herpes or genital warts but also for all the worrying you go through and stress of when and what to tell others especially in a potential relationship where you don't want to scare them off by telling them too soon, but you want to act responsibly and make sure they are aware and are able to make a choice about their own status and how they feel about that.

There is a site that offers a lot of good info with a booklet they will give you access to if you sign up on their site which talks about ways to tell your partner or potential partners and that is supposed to help make it much easier. They also offer a lot of good information for helping with depression regarding the diagnosis and the stress that goes with all of it. Here is the link:
http://http://herpeslife.com/herpes-forum/categories/herpes-talk-disclosing
(this link is actually to the forum area of the site which is discussing others issues about disclosing to partners their positive status for herpes..but to the left you will see where you can sign up and get the other information which is called..."The Positive Guide to Herpes Disclosure"


But for Two06, all I can say is wow, how could you not feel responsible at all for passing it along? BTW, it is not just a skin irritation. I have never had genital herpes but I do get horrible cold sores (herpes simplex 1) at least once a year (and sometimes much more frequently and not only do I get them on and around my mouth but I also occasionally get them in my nose and talk about pain..) and not only is the outbreak itself extremely painful, I also suffer from severe swelling of my face, swollen lymph nodes, severe headaches and sometimes a sore throat on that side that is affected and I have also suffered from neuralgia that lasts up to 6 months afterwards for me, which is very painful and never lets up even with opiate/opioid pain medication. This may not affect everyone like this but it is not uncommon and so no, it is not just a "minor skin irritation".

In addition to that, since you feel it is not a big deal, when women become pregnant they can pass along herpes to the baby as it is being born which is a major medical issue for a baby and is very, very serious. Babies can suffer from problems such as "eye disease, such as inflammation of the retina (chorioretinitis), severe brain damage, Skin sores (lesions), Bleeding easily,Breathing difficulties,Blue appearance (cyanosis),Flaring of the nostrils, Rapid breathing (tachypnea), Short periods without breathing (apneic episodes),Coma, Jaundice, Lethargy, Low body temperature (hypothermia), Poor feeding, Seizures, Shock, Skin lesions, fluid-filled blisters" from:
http://http://www.nlm.nih.gov/medlineplus/ency/article/001368.htm
Sometimes women will have to have a C-section rather than natural birth if they are infected, but that is only if they realize they are infected at the time. The point is, there are a lot of complications that can occur for some people. So what you call a minor skin irritation can be a very bid deal for others.

In some states it is against the law and you can be held criminally responsible for not telling someone you have an STD, and herpes is placed in the same category as HIV/AIDS for these purposes because it is a lifelong disease. Here is a guide to the legal aspect of not telling someone for each state...in the state that I currently live in you can be charged and prosecuted for battery, aggravated battery (felony) or even attempted murder (in the case of HIV/AIDS/hepatitis).
http://http://www.criminaldefenselawyer.com/resources/transmitting-std-criminal-laws-penalties.htm#states

 

[Animal Mother]

I apologize if I had some of my facts incorrect and please forgive if it came across as I was "blaming" men for spreading it about as that is certainly not how I meant it..that it was mens fault anymore than it was a womans. I will have to do a little research on the topic as it has been a bit since I have looked at anything regarding it. The only people who I guess could really be blamed would be those who know for certain that they are exposing others and not telling their sex partner that it is a risk for them.

I tried replying to this several times, but bluelight's servers were being gay.

As an avid men's right's activist, I perked up when I first read it, but in about 2-3 seconds I was like "lol, she didn't mean it like that"



Also, I'm lazy now, so I'm not going to go into great detail, but...Op, I believe that you need to do some soul searching before you go involving yourself with somebody, hoping that THEY will make you feel better. You don't sound very stable. I also don't understand your problem with online dating ( I seem to remember you saying you were uneasy with it ). It's the norm nowadays, and more than 40 percent of relationships start online now.

 

[Lysis]

This thread is pretty scary.

 

[Cohesion]

Sorry, editing my response .