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Staying friends with Ex

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x2theC

Bluelighter
Joined
Jul 31, 2009
Messages
142
So, i'm currently friends with my Ex, whom I had an on and off thing with for a few years as friends with benefits before we started going out. We only went out seriously for 2 months, until I got a call off her saying that she doesn't feel like its the right time to have a boyfriend. She lived away from me as we are both at university... But we both agreed to remain friends after. So we didn't speak for a few weeks then over the easter break we saw each other every day as we were both back home. We had the odd kiss and its remained that way ever since. So she was back to visit this weekend, we went to a show and she was acting really affectionate towards me. Then the next day she wasn't. I really do have feelings for this girl that goes beyond friends. And she even said to me she does too but at the moment doesn't want anything serious.
So she went back to school this week and all I can think about is her and I. Would anyone class it as quite unhealthy to keep this sort of thing going? I have seen other girls in between but i just don't seem to get on with them as well as my ex. Basically does it sound to anyone like I'm fighting a losing battle? Should I just keep her as a friend and try and move on for good?

Any advice is welcome
 
I'd say keep chatting with her and keep seeing other girls. Who knows, maybe you will meet someone else who you connect with even more.
But if you feel like she is stopping you from meeting other girls, it may be time to stop being in contact with her.
 
Well this is a hard one. If you love her you should fight for her. If you feel anyone else is exsacly as good then may be you shouldn't. See I have exes with which I got into huge fights after we had agreed to just be friends. Others are friends and only friends that I will keep for a life time. If you love her don't give up!
 
x2theC said:
she even said to me she does too but at the moment doesn't want anything serious.
Basically does it sound to anyone like I'm fighting a losing battle? Should I just keep her as a friend and try and move on for good?

Any advice is welcome
Click to expand...

use her for a booty call, if you want, and nothing else..IMO, she just doesn't want to hurt your feelings when she says that she isn't looking for anything serious..Idk that's just my opinion.
 
Couldbe she's looking for something else in you which hasn't yet reared it's head - but she sees potential so she keeps on seeing you. I would just wait his one out, continue as you are, and just keep looking out there for other people so as not to put all your energy into something which is not a cert at this current moment.
 
x2theC said:
So, i'm currently friends with my Ex, whom I had an on and off thing with for a few years as friends with benefits before we started going out. We only went out seriously for 2 months, until I got a call off her saying that she doesn't feel like its the right time to have a boyfriend. She lived away from me as we are both at university... But we both agreed to remain friends after. So we didn't speak for a few weeks then over the easter break we saw each other every day as we were both back home. We had the odd kiss and its remained that way ever since. So she was back to visit this weekend, we went to a show and she was acting really affectionate towards me. Then the next day she wasn't. I really do have feelings for this girl that goes beyond friends. And she even said to me she does too but at the moment doesn't want anything serious.
So she went back to school this week and all I can think about is her and I. Would anyone class it as quite unhealthy to keep this sort of thing going? I have seen other girls in between but i just don't seem to get on with them as well as my ex. Basically does it sound to anyone like I'm fighting a losing battle? Should I just keep her as a friend and try and move on for good?

Any advice is welcome
Click to expand...
Sounds like she wants to play the field for a while, which is fair enough. Just keep her as bootycall/drought breaker.
 
llama112 said:
I'd say keep chatting with her and keep seeing other girls. Who knows, maybe you will meet someone else who you connect with even more.
But if you feel like she is stopping you from meeting other girls, it may be time to stop being in contact with her.
Click to expand...

This.

It's hard not to have feelings for someone that you have feelings are but just as she is putting herself first, you should as well. There could be a multitude of reasons as to why she doesn't want to be in a relationship, maybe she wants to play the field, maybe she is worried about the distance, maybe she just wants to focus on school without the commitment of a relationship. It's important for each of you to live your lives and if you find your way back to one another then that's great. Even if you don't then there is still the possibility of finding someone you connect with even more, if that's the case then you're in an even better (and happier) position
 
Thanks for the replies everyone, seems the general conclusion is keep what i have there but don't sell my self short.
 
She's an ex for a reason, right?

Id just move on to greener pastures and cut all contact with her. Otherwise you'll probably end up getting hurt more in the long run.
 
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