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  • BDD Moderators: Keif’ Richards

Starting Opiate addiction?

cassius14

Bluelighter
Joined
Mar 6, 2014
Messages
49
Ever since I broke my leg end of 2012 I have been given a box of 20 5mg opiates once every 6 weeks or so. It used to only take me a few to get high and I'd do it recreationally. Then I found it made me more open and sociable, It made me happier, I would sit in my room alone not go out and just listen to music or chat mates over facebook.

things at home are pretty bad. I fight with my dad, never talk to my bro much, and I often open up to my mum. they think my life has been derailed because of steroids but realistically its the girls I meet have been really fucking with my life.

so I saw my dad down in the dumps, one night before I took it I had endone. and i went downstairs and printed a photo of us two as a kid and wrote I love you dad left it on his bed.
i had NEVER done that in the whole 25 years of my life.

I dumped the whole 20 x 5 mg endone and woke up in the happiest mood, I hugged my entire family, and told them I loved them I had neve done this before.

Am I going down a dangerous path? What should I do ? I am on effexor and I see a therapist but they just numb the negative feels. I dont feel this happy ever. I always go out clubbiing pick up girls and stuff but it only makes me happy for the moment.

Interestingy; a lot of different friends who dont know each other have approached me and said im a little too wild when we go out, that I am obsessed with certain things like picking up girls and that I am a great guy but deep down gotta sort my shit out. they sent me this ages ago, I only started effexor 5 weeks ago.

Im concerned Im starting an oppiate addiction, I always want to be spontaneous and hug my family, make photos, be happy. otherwise I feel mediocre and flat.

I had a recent bout with benzos for about 6 weeks but I cut them cold turkey.

Post gym sessions especially if on steroids do help a lot with anxiety, especially if I push hard and past the point of exhaustion.
 
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I'm thinking that your friends are concerned because of they way you had acted when you were out together. Can you attribute this to the benzos more or the opiates? Or you didn't say if you were taking them both together. I can only guess that it's probably benzos based on the way I had behaved in the past because they lower your inhibitions. But I could be way off and don't want to make assumptions. What do you think?
 
You sound exactly like my brother in the description of your actions while on opiates lol

I remember he asked me, "These make me feel better than i have ever felt before! How does anyone who takes this stuff not become an addict?!" and I said "Because addicts are the only ones who feel that way when they take them."

Definitely try and control yourself although I know only how far that statement can go.
 
all good boys please give me your two cents. im hoping I can beat this together. I of course speak to professionals as well but you guys have been in the trenches you know what it's like.

benzos I used strictly for studying for finals cause for some reason I kept having panic attacks and coudlnt sleep. mind you I was on a cycle of testosterone/tren/masteron the whole time so that would of aggrevated the situation. I just want to make sure I dont go down a dark road

I stopped the roids and my sleeping has returned. effexor had this impact on me where i dont get that "on top of the world" happy euphoria youd normally get with like post gym work out. it did make me more patient though
 
The obvious pleasure of opioids is readily paid paid back with twice as much pain. I promise.

This could be a long term solution to a temporary problem. I started taking opioids because I liked the feeling, with no reason to be unhappy whatsoever. A large enough stressor and BAM no justification needed, apathy and indifference to me as a person, a very good catalyst for self destruction. I could have gotten through it on my own.

You're already starting from a depressive point of view, you continue doing opioids and it's a good possibly you will become faster than you know it.


Stay AWAY! But if you must:

You have zero tolerance. If you enjoy the feeling that much at least buy some kratom and forget the pharms. Similar feeling, though I'm not positive it doesn't have interactions with the drug you mentioned - look it up, and far more mild in terms of effects, dependence, and on the pocket. You can become dependent on it just the same.
 
cutting Benzos cold turkey can leave side effects for up to 2 years. Dont anyone do that.

This depends wholly on the duration and the dosage.

If this dude is a few days+ clean without a seizure with a shorter acting one, he's probably fine. The dangerous part is the grand mal (tonic-clonic) seizure that comes rapid cessation gabageric drugs you're dependant on. If you're that addicted, even with a slow taper you'll still have side effects (rebound anxiety/depression) for quite a bit.

Never been physically dependant on benzos, abused them too quick when I had two scripts ;) and honestly if I got that far I don't think I could take the withdrawal and would dig my hole nice a deep (metaphorically), so I try and stay very careful and titierate upwards every dose until it's effect is felt.

Now I was in a far shittier place when prescribed kpins and temazepam, heh. Talk about polydrug use. I detest people who are too fucked up to drive, so I don't remember, but at least I had the common sense to pass out in my car in a parking lot. My memory begins with the cop tapping on the window. I guess he respected me enough for not driving that he gave me a ride to a friends house. Heh, funny cause my only other experience with police in that city is continuing and negative 4 years on (I was arrested... 50 miles away for a fucking ticket for no insurance which I had, but I suppose that's hardly their fault).
 
Wild behaviours sounds like benzos. Affection towards family sounds like opiates. Kick them all. The roids, benzos and opiates. Nothing positive comes from drug addiction. If you can manage to maintain a discipline and stay clear of addiction then go ahead. But you sound like me 5days ago high on 20mg Norco. Opiates tear lives apart. The euphoria is too great for those who don't feel that happy all the time. Addiction is almost inevitable. You can never rely on drugs to assist you in getting through any part in your life. Not even caffeine would I recommend to drink every morning to "stay awake". They all carry health risks.

DRUGS ARE FOR RECREATION. Pure good fun. As they are.
 
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