Opioids Start methadone detox tommorow.

[Cranoo]

I've been on Methadone around seven years, 115mls although there was days I took 400+ and many of them. I had only 20mls today as sometimes happens because I dip into my takehome doses even though I don't get high, just addicted to doing it I suppose.

I just feel really emotional. I'm only coming down 5mls tommorow but right now I haven't had anything but 20mls about 24hrs ago and I get emotional and stay up all night when that happens untill I go to the clinic tommorow.

All I want is to go back to university, meet a nice girl and have a family, I don't want too much or more than the next man, I'm just tired of this shit. I've had very bad problems all my life. I feel like i've got a weight on me i'm not strong enough to lift. Since I broke up with up with my gf and got into a carcrash which messed me up and killed my best friend, I gave up and stayed in my room, coming out not too much when I was a very outgoing person before.

Although I was never poor or and never needed anything, my home was broken and I went trough alot of stuff. I never felt like my parents loved me or cared about me. My GF had polycystic ovaries and couldn't get pregnant so I couldn't have my own family. I don't have friends really now.

My old friend died a few days ago of a heroin OD. Alot of them have or are locked up or have HEP C. etc. I'm a good man, i've always been a good man, I only took drugs because I couldn't bare the pain. I'm as strong as the next man, they just haven't went trouggh what I did. I never stole, I worked hard for my drugs. All my friends were scumbags. I just want to be happy for once in my life. I'm strong enough to keep trying.

I just had to get this off my chest. Anyone get anything inspirational or anything to help me get trough? I know 5mls tommorow is nothing much but i've been going trough this for years and i'm tired of it. I'm 26 this month, I'm scared.

Oh yeah, I have a pill problem now. I don't take any other drugs though ever.

Thank you.

 

[thesameoldfears]

Check out "The Dark Side" sub-forum, it's all about recovery support and helping each other stay or get clean.

What do you mean you have a pill problem now?

Congrats on deciding to taper off your methadone. You can do it if you set your mind to it. There are a lot of us on here who have been through a lot, including detox and maintenance therapy tapers. You can definitely find some support here.

 

[Cranoo]

I will bro, I'm semi-addicted to benzo's/barbituates etc. I can go days without them but I can never stay away from them. It's always been one thing or another for me.

I know I can get back up, I just need a break.

 

[uno22]

You're still really young, bro.

7 years on methadone and you're 26? How long were you on dope for before that?

You got a long road ahead of you and plenty of time to straighten things out. Good luck to you.

 

[Cranoo]

I've had drug problems since I hit puberty at 12 but I start smoking heroin around 16 and went on from there. I've been on methadone far longer.

 

[orgone]

Just make sure you go down slowly. I was on 120mg a day for a few years and started mixing benzos with it. Ended in a OD situation that was interpreted as a suicide attempt and spent a few weeks going CT off that dose in a psyche ward. Not fun.