• BASIC DRUG
    DISCUSSION
    Welcome to Bluelight!
    Posting Rules Bluelight Rules
    Benzo Chart Opioids Chart
    Drug Terms Need Help??
    Drugs 101 Brain & Addiction
    Tired of your habit? Struggling to cope?
    Want to regain control or get sober?
    Visit our Recovery Support Forums
  • BDD Moderators: Keif’ Richards | negrogesic

SSRI's (specifically citalopram)

Status
Not open for further replies.
Having been on a few SSRIs myself over the course of about 30 months, I can say that the one - and most noticeable - effect they all had on me was apathy. I couldn't cry or laugh about anything anymore. My guess is that some mistook/mistake this as an antidepressant effect when in fact imo it's more of a mood stabilizer. While this apathy effect may stop a clinically depressed patient from - for example - crying repeatedly - and yes, I suppose that could be considered an improvement - I for one never felt or noticed any significant short or long term positive changes in mood, motivation, relationships or lifestyle. Some may argue that these changes take time and that they are subtle - I cannot factually prove that they are wrong. I just know I stuck with the high dosages I was receiving for several months and nothing really seemed to improve.

This was my summary after taking three... All had the exact same effect to varying degrees. I can't stress enough how positive moods were also blunted. I was emotionally a zombie. It made it even harder to express how I felt without words.

I felt erie. Like a subtle separation from my feelings. Sex was impossible, I just couldn't get into it. I would get tickled and barely a smirk would hit my face. I know it tickled, I felt it tickle. But, I could not, for the life of me, "properly express" the joy I felt being tickled. I couldn't watch comedy without feeling out of place. I would find myself putting a show on physically to express I was in fact entertained. After 6 years of trying to augment my treatment with medication, I opted out of falling into this same cycle of "swapping out" AD medications. Both old and new.

I DRASTICALLY felt better in therapy without medication. In fact with therapy alone, I felt better than before treatment and a combo of the AD and therapy together.

In all, I think you should really put forth an effort to tell how any medication is working for you. If it isn't, or as in my case, hindered the process... Get off of your AD and stick with therapy. You are the patient. You have to make a custom lifestyle change for you, not the people who were initially tested with the medications.

Find your happiness for you, not the other way around.

Also, I couldn't stress enough... You got to fight. There is help in many forms, good and bad. Only you can gather up your strength and effort to seek it.
 
Last edited:
I started taking prozac (an SSRI) when a bout of depression persisted for longer than usual. I've always normally had periods of melancholy, but this one last for a straight five months at least and none of the usual things helped--I started exercising regularly, going outside all the time, eating well and doing yoga, which are all the things that normally make me feel better. I still felt sad and anxious. I had a lot of reservations about trying antidepressants, but I was desperate to feel okay at this point.
The prozac helped quite a bit, with my anxiety especially. I still felt the anxieties, but I could think of them and then let them go and not let them control my day. Before, I was unable to relinquish negative thoughts--both real world anxieties and persistent existential angst. I felt nihilistic, and it made me depressed. Now, I don't not feel nihilistic, but it doesn't make me feel like I don't want to be alive anymore. The prozac did have some negative effects--it definitely gives me a sense of numbness, but I had to trade that for feeling miserable constantly. I've had a lot of experiences since going on prozac (40 mg daily) about 8 months ago, and I plan on weaning myself off it in a few months. I'm excited to come off it--a little anxious, but mostly excited. It served its purpose, and after a bit longer I think I'll be able to manage without it, contentedly.
 
Fully agree on that one, I've been off meds twice since my depression and anxiety became a real problem and only went back on due to persistent thoughts of suicide and full on Suicidal ideation.

I notice what I would call a real compression in my emotions like a broad spectrum has been reduced to a narrow one somewhere in the middle, I almost can't feel on them.

I would not support the use of them without the use of some sort of therapy along side, I am receiving CBT.

I wouldn't want tot think I would be on ADs all my life but its got to be better than being dead, and the doctors have no alternative at the moment. I've tried the "self medication" route both the constructive , St Johns Wort, 5-HTP, more exercises etc and the destructive , booze and benzos and that didn't do much for me either with the latter obviously making things worse.

Its what we call in the UK Hobsons choice:\
 
Fully agree on that one, I've been off meds twice since my depression and anxiety became a real problem and only went back on due to persistent thoughts of suicide and full on Suicidal ideation.

I notice what I would call a real compression in my emotions like a broad spectrum has been reduced to a narrow one somewhere in the middle, I almost can't feel on them.

I would not support the use of them without the use of some sort of therapy along side, I am receiving CBT.

I wouldn't want tot think I would be on ADs all my life but its got to be better than being dead, and the doctors have no alternative at the moment. I've tried the "self medication" route both the constructive , St Johns Wort, 5-HTP, more exercises etc and the destructive , booze and benzos and that didn't do much for me either with the latter obviously making things worse.

Its what we call in the UK Hobsons choice:\

I started taking prozac (an SSRI) when a bout of depression persisted for longer than usual. I've always normally had periods of melancholy, but this one last for a straight five months at least and none of the usual things helped--I started exercising regularly, going outside all the time, eating well and doing yoga, which are all the things that normally make me feel better. I still felt sad and anxious. I had a lot of reservations about trying antidepressants, but I was desperate to feel okay at this point.
The prozac helped quite a bit, with my anxiety especially. I still felt the anxieties, but I could think of them and then let them go and not let them control my day. Before, I was unable to relinquish negative thoughts--both real world anxieties and persistent existential angst. I felt nihilistic, and it made me depressed. Now, I don't not feel nihilistic, but it doesn't make me feel like I don't want to be alive anymore. The prozac did have some negative effects--it definitely gives me a sense of numbness, but I had to trade that for feeling miserable constantly. I've had a lot of experiences since going on prozac (40 mg daily) about 8 months ago, and I plan on weaning myself off it in a few months. I'm excited to come off it--a little anxious, but mostly excited. It served its purpose, and after a bit longer I think I'll be able to manage without it, contentedly.

I fully agree. If you need them, go for it. If some don't need them, why are they on one to begin with? That is what I mean. You know? Doctors should establish that you have more options than just pills. And recommend such treatments before they try to get you on medications. Medication should always be an emergency or the treatment when all else fails.
 
Damn this thread has a lot of popularity. I think the question has been answered, so mods please close this.
 
Antidepressant threads always stir up a lot of strong feelings!

Glad your question has been answered, closed as requested.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Top