someday

[beanpoophead]

I wish you knew
what i do to myself
cos the only thing im good at
is destroying myself
tearing down the walls
that once held me
here

and im alone
maybe I’ve always been
except i was afraid
to admit it
i never had much
and what i did have
i gave it away
to all those boys
that i used to lust

you don’t know it now
neglect blinds your eyes
to all the hurt in mine
my broken heart
beats
but it can’t
be put back together

i sat in the backseat
the whole way home
eyes fixed
on the outside
tears stuck in my eyes
cos my pain
just bleeds
eyes fixed on each other
together you two sat

life is destroyed by life
and by memories
that were best forgotten
or remembered
so we wouldn’t
get hurt all over again
its always the same

im in this world
and you won’t stay
cos you know
that im to afraid
to see you for you
and not for what i want
ya, i am naive
you always played it up
cos im not that strong

its just another day
I’ll hurt myself again
with those memories
the ones where i smiled
a smile
i thought would never fade
and it did

sleep hasnt come
easy in awhile
every night lasts til 6 am
and im restless
laying in my own sweat
mixed with tears
maybe someday I’ll make it
ya, maybe ill be all right
someday not so soon sadly

 

[Altered_Soul9]

Wow, your words are full of pain and depression. They made me cry within. Very nice.

 

[neverwas]

talk about eye opening loved your choice of words though

 

[beanpoophead]

thanks guys i totally appreaciate the feedback.

most of my friends dont even know i write, and i dont think they would understand anyways, so its REALLY GREAT to get some feedback!