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Some expertise please

D

dredz

Bluelighter
Joined
Nov 16, 2010
Messages
52
I am really struggling this week. I started on fluoxetine 40mgs (now up to 60mgs) and Aplenzin 174mgs-now up to 348mgs) a couple of months ago. Two weeks ago I went up on the Apenzin to the higher dose because I only started a couple of weeks before on the lower dose and I definitely felt better.

But since the higher dose I feel like I have been rapid cycling. I got quite up and have been down really down for the last week.

The thing I am worried about is how much of my behaviour is because of my relationship with my wife. She said one thing and i got upset, and I have ran with that for the whole week. I am unemloyed broke financially devastated etc. etc.

My doctor knows all this (obviously) and He said the Aplenzin would help me focus better, but I have no enthusiasm to get doing things that will be positive for me.
I feel like I can focus better but only on the negative(does that make sense)

Anyway the last day or two has been pretty dark and my thoughts are going that way too.

I have shut myself off completely, I have free time when I drop my son to school to do anything I want to help myself and i can't/won't and this is really upsetting to me. I can come on here and read and read and sometimes post but even this took almighty effort.

I even thought how does this forum continue because if everyone was like meit would go fine for a few days/weeks etc. and then it wouldn't be touched as I watched it fall apart. Pretty much like my life right now.

So anyone with any ideas on the meds I am taking. I am seeing my PSY on Tuesday at 11am.
 
First off, ignore that floride bollocks...It doen't matter if they arsenic, if it keeps you sane, and your family together it's worth taking.

Aplenzin...that can make things a lot worse, don't stop taking it now, but definitely tell your psy, they need to switch up your meds I think..

Fluox, I'm a bit concerned why they have you so high in dose, so quickly, it's a great drug, but only the first in a long list of anti depressents, it works for most, hence why they start nearly everyone with depression symptoms on it, but still plenty of people need something different..your psy can help you decide which will be best for you.

You,
Good job putting it together and posting, it helps, it really does!

One of the hardest things I had to come to terms with was why I was so depressed, my wife loves me, my kids adore me...It takes a long time to figure that shit out, and I'm not going to lie, it's more than likely going to get a lot worse before it gets better..
For me, my wife was/is crucial for my recovery, but she never understood, it took her a long time to fully understand. Tell her everything, explain how scared you are, and ask her to do a little googling on major depression, it'll help her...which in turn will help you!
Also, although I wasn't ready to return to work, you need something in your life to give you focus, do a short course, something that you can occupy your time with that at the same time, gives you a reason to be here..
I'm guessing your wife works? So you're not the breadwinner, and you have a family, feels emasculating huh? It adds to how awful you feel, and also leads to to resentment towars your wife. I imagine that she would be happy for you to find your way, but giving yourself something to drive for will definitely help you..Do something you can add to your C.V so you don't feel so useless...
I know it's hard believe me I know, but you have to remember that you WILL get through it, you'll end up earning top dollar again, and you'll be able to enjoy the things you know you should be able too!
 
updown,
thanks ....i can't read and reply my wife just came downstairs so I am going up.
Will talk more later or tomorrow. It sucks I know but I can't right talk to her now. She is just so angry towards me.
 
dredz said:
updown,
thanks ....i can't read and reply my wife just came downstairs so I am going up.
Will talk more later or tomorrow. It sucks I know but I can't right talk to her now. She is just so angry towards me.
Click to expand...

Fair enough, but you need to start planning a time to discuss things with her, I promise you, it will help!

Good luck!
 
UpdownUP said:
Fair enough, but you need to start planning a time to discuss things with her, I promise you, it will help!

Good luck!
Click to expand...

Upstairs on smart phone. Don't know what to discuss with her. She has always been so independent. She just does her own thing. I expect she wants me to dothe same. But I need the emotionally Support and. Have asked her before sometimes just to come over to me and help me get out off it but she just stays away. Then I think so negatively and it is taking so my h not to storm out and use. She has just seen this behaviour so often. I have totally fuckedd up her life. I think if I could just get normal we could make it but I can't seem to get there.
 
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What to discuss is what your feeling...
She knows somethings wrong, and explaining to her what it is may help, switching off when your with your family doesn't work for long...you turn the little things into big things, arguments start all the time...
Ask her to accompany you to your next PSY consultaion, ask her now! I think it would be very good for you to let her in, and she'll see the seriousness of how miserable your feeling..Also reassure her that it's just temporary, things will come right with time and a little effort!
 
Prozac made me cycle like crazy. Maybe a tricyclic would be good with a mood stabilizer? Not to be all PC but mental illness of any kind is just that. Get your meds straight talk to your wife and maybe consider therapy? Just a thought. Good luck and keep your chin up.
 
Edit:

I think your psy is retarded if he is putting you on 60mg prozac. 40mg is the highest adult dose as doses higher than this can have a tendency to cause serotonin syndrome. You should talk to your psy soon.

New info i have obtained: Alpenzin in high doses can cause seizures, you should avoid or be monitored closely if taking SSRI's such as fluoxetine as SSRI's reduce the seizure threshold, increasing you chance of seizures.
 
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Prozac made me INCREDIBLY manic... Apparently that's a pretty common side effect of Prozac, & it can be especially bad (& especially likely to occur) for people whose Depression &/or general personality traits have ever caused any doctors to consider diagnosing them with Bipolar or Cyclothymia. Putting somebody who IS CURRENTLY diagnosed with Bipolar or Cyclothymia on Prozac is considered to be simply "reckless" by many Psychiatrists & hardly ever results in anything good.
Regardless of all that, though, it sounds like without question Prozac has been doing absolutely nothing good for you, & if it has been, then it doesn't really matter since the massive amount of harm it's been doing clearly outweighs any possible "benefits". It seems pretty obvious to me at least that you should either lower your dose of Prozac back to the dose that you found effective & didn't cause you to be rapid-cycling, or that you should simply go off Prozac altogether. Of course, though, that's your decision to make, & I guess your doctor's decision to make with you if you let her. If your doctor wants to keep you on Prozac, though, it's probably because he/she has observed it having some positive effects on you (which it seems like at least at a lower dose it has), & he/she is probably overly-fixated on the good its been doing you & has been totally failing to realize the degree of harm it's been doing you. Even if your doctor encourages you to stay on 60mg a day, though, you really should insist to at least lower it back to 40mg a day & then re-evaluate the issue of whether or not to remain on 40mg a day after you've been back on that dose for a while.

As for the Aplenzin... Everything about the way your doctor put you on it makes me question what on earth he/she was thinking. Bupropion has been proven over & over again to have very, very little value in increasing people's ability to focus (it's FDA approved for ADHD treatment, but it hardly ever is prescrbed for any attention-increasing purposes anymore because it's hardly ever effective at all when used to treat such issues)... Also, Bupropion's also known to cause bipolar-like symptoms as a possible side effect, so it definitely could be contributing to the overall intensity of the rapid-cycling feelings you've been experiencing.
What's probably the most worrisome, though, is that your doctor put you on Aplenzin during the period of time you were still getting accustomed to Prozac at various dosages so that it sounds like it's pretty hard for you to distinguish the effects of Aplenzin from those of the Prozac. Additionally, if the Aplenzin was given to you solely to help correct a problem you were experiencing as a result of the Prozac, then that's how people way too often end up on like 10 different medications, none of which are helping them more than 1 or 2 at most should.
I'm not advicing you to fire your doctor or anything like that... I just wanted to bring that information to your attention.
 
He did say if It felt too uch to go back to the lower doze.That was Aplenzin. He said go back to the 174mgs. My problem is For the last two weeks, Since I really flet good , I couldn't even be bothered doing that. In other words I knew i should but wouldn't. How sick is that? It even took huge effort to brring the meds I was taking downstairs beside me to write here the correc dosages. He had me on seroquel and lamictal and something else a couple of years ago but went off them and then went back to self medicating. So this combo is new again. I have been seeing him since my self admittance this time round since december of last tear so my mind is really poor when i don;t even know my history of meds . I will bring a notebook on Tuesday and get my history.

I feel a lot of my mental state is to do with my wife to be completely honest. She is so distant to me that even an hour or so I asked her to sit down and she basically just went off on me so I feed on that. Posting here is helping me I think, i am also of the impresssion that because i came on here i am fueling the illness also.

I have wanted to burst out the door to use today also. I am really trying to hold it down. As you can see there are so many factors and trying to get the equation rigfht is hard. I also felt an awful lot of what this woman expressed, and tend to think a lot along these lines.

Maybe I am just a big faker. I have had my parents take my kids all week, and I sit in my chair doing pretty much nothing but watch tv. Maybe I just don't want kids anymore. Maybe I am just a crappy mom who can't handle kids. Maybe I am selfish.

Am I sick, or am I just a pathetic excuse for a person, seeking attention.

My thoughts are so confused and jumbled up. I don't know what to say when someone asks how I am feeling. I don't know how to express myself when I need help. I asked my husband yesterday what I should do about this depression and he said that he doesn't know.

My mind works like a flip book all night long. I have cryptic dreams where I end up walking past the psych ward at the hospital and the staff comes out and walks me away as if going inside would suck me in to illness forever.

I feel like meds are poison. I feel anxious, my stomach is in knots, I sleep too much.

I don't feel legitimate because I can't explain this stuff to anyone. It leads to a 20 minute discussion with people who aren't in a position to analyze me (my parents and friends, generally). I just don't have the energy for that. So I cought a little cold this week and I don't feel all that bad but I played it up like it was the flu so that I could get the help I need with the kids and not have to discuss my mental state with people who don't understand.

I don't even know what I am talking about. I just want to disappear, but I have all these people in my way. I am not thinking straight. How do I sort this all out?

I am feeling like my thoughts are all in knots. I feel like I have to crawl through a rubber band ball to get through the day. It is getting difficult to keep this up all the time.

Anyway thank you all for listening.
 
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