• HEALTH & RECOVERY
    Welcome Guest
    Posting Rules Bluelight Rules Thread Directory 1 Thread Directory 2
    Mindfulness Links Addiction & Mind
    Sober Living Partner Program (SLiPP)
  • H&R Moderators: VerbalTruist

Some Benzo advise please for a recovering alcoholic

Yeah books are great if you have the time, but have you considered audio books? Check out audio book bay Dot com, they have maybe 50k free audio book torrents. Just promise yourself you'll actually buy the authors work when youre able;) one of my recent favorites from there was "the affinities" by robert c wilson (sci fi). U should check it out. .
 
SunSpot said:
Yeah books are great if you have the time, but have you considered audio books? Check out audio book bay Dot com, they have maybe 50k free audio book torrents. Just promise yourself you'll actually buy the authors work when youre able;) one of my recent favorites from there was "the affinities" by robert c wilson (sci fi). U should check it out. .
Click to expand...

Thanks, I think I will.

Just opened the 'Treasure of Khan' by Clive Cussler, one of my old favourite authors, on page 15 but I think I have read it before (might read all 550 pages again anyway, I like his stories).

I've been thinking more these last couple of days as to what my triggers are, and it is a bit of a mixed bag now I have listed them.

Boredom and habit are high on the list (when I last stopped I would drink 8 pints of squash a day because I wanted to drink, habit). But I think the main one is stress and anger. I so easily lose my temper (when not drinking) but am much calmer when having drunk.

I did not log in here yesterday as I was so stressed, agitated and wanting to drink I didn't know what to do with myself, so I went to bed.

Slept midday till 3pm, then 7pm through to the morning. I never sleep that much but it was all I could think of to stop me drinking, so guess it worked but I don't want to sleep my life away !!

Hunger is another one, but I have never been a big eater so will stock up on peanuts and chocolate as mentioned before.

So, day 5 almost in the bag, I'm off to check out where my other thread has been moved to.

Thanks and I hope you are all well.
 
You're doing great Clutchingatstraws! Eventually you won't be as boredom and you'll have more motivation to do things. Sleeping is still preferable to drinking, and eventually the cravings won't be nearly as bad. I slept a lot also in early recovery to keep myself out of trouble lol. Keep going strong!
 
Well, a rather stress free day today, so this one has been quite straightforward. I say stress free, but I have still had a lot to do and a lot on my mind but the kids have impressed me today, they keep surprising me with good news and I can't thank them enough for cheering me up today.

No tantrums from my 5 year old today at his dental visit, needed a filling, and then he won best boy at the Boys Brigade today. He is quite emotional and this is only his 5th time there, so to see him behave so well to be awarded best in class is quite pleasing for me.

Then to top it off, my 7 year old has been asked to read part of the sermon at church on Sunday.

Now I know religion is not big in most people's lives, never has been in mine until we saw the state of the schools around here and thought the local C of E school offered them a better future, hence we have now been church goers for a couple of months ( only 7 years to go...) but my eldest has really taken to it, and I'm so happy for her to have been chosen.

Generally a good day then and alcohol free still.

I seem to be eating a lot of cheese though.

Hope all is well in your lives.
 
Nice to hear you are doing well!

I would give you a hug for your great progression if I were a bit closer to you :)

Reading about your journey to sober life has given a lot of courage for me when I have been struggling with my pain and tapering process. Thank you for sharing.
 
Thank you Root.

Alcohol has not even entered my mind today, the Kratom is really working well and I have more on order. Probably can afford a month's worth before the ban, then other things if anything to be looked into.

Anyone else out there struggling with an addiction my heart goes out to you, and though this is very early days, I feel confident and will log in here as often as I can.

I will share any fails I have also, but so far so good.

R.
 
Awesome to hear you're doing good. What is this with a kratom ban? I mean yes it's powerful stuff but there's a lot of good in the substance too. Like for you it took away my alc cravings. I forget, were you in Canada? Info appreciated:)
 
That's great news Clutchingatstraws! From personal experience, the longer you go without it the less you crave/think about it. The most difficult times for me in early recovery after the first thirty days were when I would get upset or too hungry. For some reason, I would mistake hunger for wanting a drink so try to avoid those situations. I used to carry around a snickers candy bar in case I got hungry and couldn't eat right away. Back then hunger didn't register in my brain as hunger, I had to relearn that feeling and associate it with food. In rehab I learned that being hungry, angry, lonely or tired were the most common causes for relapse (HALT) so they told us to be as careful as we could and avoid any of those feelings. Keep up the great work!
 
Back again, and almost at the end of day 9.

Thanks Sunspot, I'm in the UK and ban comes into effect on May 25, or there abouts. For me this means from the start of next week I am unable to buy any more as it would not get to me before the ban starts. Lots of stuff getting banned except Alcohol, caffeine, tobacco and ''poppers'' (which only escaped the ban as one of our homosexual members of parliament said he uses them, apparently they make things 'looser'. I have no issue with homosexuals or any of the other sexuals but thought to mention it in the context of why it escaped the ban).

Yeah, I'm not even thinking of alcohol at the moment, but due to finances I could only buy enough to last me till the end of next week, slow taper starting Monday but I'm not a heavy or long term user anyway.

Hope you're doing well in Canada, and beware Big Pharma on its hunt to ban everything it does not control.

Thanks again Moreaux, you have been a great help to me. I got a load of sweets and chocolate at the ready for when the Kratom runs out, hidden it all from the kids lol. I'm not snacking atm as the Krat is keeping my appetite very low, have to force myself to eat at times.

I know the feeling of hunger and mistaking it for wanting to drink, it's a worry along with my short temper/ stress levels so really need to look into the 5-htp soon, it's all down to cash though right now. I see how HALT speaks volumes, think I will write that near my monitor as I spend lots of time looking at it !!

I see my Doctor Monday, my be able to sort something with him as the alcohol relapse is why I am seeing him, wish me luck.

And that's all folks, getting late now so food, TV and sleep beckons.

Will update again over the weekend.

R.
 
That's another day done.

Finding it incredible how I am not even thinking about alcohol, but that said I am kinda glad I won't be able to get more Krat after my last order as, knowing me, I'd end up with a habit on that which will be just as harmful, to my health and financially.

Spotted an article about Loperamide in a separate online mag I subscribe to and read up on it a lot just now. Got to the end of my research and thought ''wtf am I doing?''. Why am I even considering options and researching about drugs I have no experience of when I'm desperately trying to get of one drug I already know far too well?

Thank God for the Krat to give me the head start, but after that it's the GP's advice and natural and/ or established stuff like 5-htp and St John's Wort me thinks. And I used to laugh at my Mum when she offered me chamomile tea...

I'll also stick with you good people, guided me well so far and enjoy posting and reading comments on this site.

Take care all.

R.
 
St johns wort? Beware that stuff, it's POWERFUL. took it once for3 weeks, no effect. Then bam, this while suite of effects. Made me light headed, couldn't sleep, headache, colors seemed weird. Heck, even food tasted different. Got off it at once. And i believe it has some nasty drug interactions. But then again it seems to be perfect for some. Be sure to research it well before you try ..
 
Especially if you are taking any other OTC or prescription meds! That stuff interacts with A LOT of meds in a nasty way, so beware. I have heard others swear by it, but it did absolutely nothing positive for me, especially to compared to my beloved Wellbutrin (never thought I'd say those words LOL) %)
 
Tpd we are a lot alike! Have you ever tried kava btw? Like, really tried it for a few weeks? Its nasty as hell and needs to build up in your system, but when it does .. Good stuff. Makes exercise so much fun if you know what i mean. And it's known not to be addictive, there are some excellent studies showing the people off vanuatu doing so much better Who take it, as opposed to alc or other stuffs.

I always did an extract of the powder with reagent grade n hexane, then mixed the paste with lecithin and chocolate. Makes it painless to take, just don't do too much ..
 
SunSpot said:
Tpd we are a lot alike! Have you ever tried kava btw? Like, really tried it for a few weeks? Its nasty as hell and needs to build up in your system, but when it does .. Good stuff. Makes exercise so much fun if you know what i mean. And it's known not to be addictive, there are some excellent studies showing the people off vanuatu doing so much better Who take it, as opposed to alc or other stuffs.

I always did an extract of the powder with reagent grade n hexane, then mixed the paste with lecithin and chocolate. Makes it painless to take, just don't do too much ..
Click to expand...

LMAO - yeah, don't take too much. I made that mistake before going to work once - was slurring my words and couldn't walk straight to save my life.
 
Yup, I have tried many different types of preparations. My favorite is freshly ground (or "chewed") root, but I also liked this crazy strong kalactone or however your spell it extract that came in an off white, or tan-ish, color paste. Yum, peppery ;)
 
Ok Ok, no Wort or are you all taking the piss?

Gotta remember I'm UK and have the psychoactive bill to contend with, so I am REALLY limited in my options here.

I'm guessing the unspoken word is 5-htp yes?

Let myself down today and am in the progress of finishing my 6th and last pint of Stella.

Don't ask why, I don't know what brought it on. Perfect day, church, home, lawnmower, laundry, sat in garden, went to park with kids, cooked meals, just same old same old all day but from lunch time onwards I got this brain worm that just would not let go. Took my Krat, rode it out for a few hours but it would not go. Tried to eat but impossible on Krat, tried a sweet but same again. Wife knew I was on edge and when I asked if she minded I had a drink she just shook her head at me.

So there we are. 1 day in 11. baby steps and I am not back to square one again, it was just one of those things.

I'll post here tomorrow after the doctors visit.

Take care all.

R.
 
I do not understand the draw of alcohol. The way it makes me feel is enough to make me nauseous. I guess I should consider myself lucky. What are you doing for sober fun and what kind of sober suppory do you have in your every day life CAS?
 
Good luck Clutchingatstraws! I'm sorry to learn of your slip - that's rough. The longest I could ever go in my later drinking days was a week - the compulsion to drink was too strong. I eventually checked myself into rehab. You may want to consider naltrexone pills, but I am not certain if they would render the kratom ineffective. Alcohol is insidious - it's so hard to break that cycle.
 
I did not drink yesterday when I did not visit here, I just went to bed early feeling a little low but I understand why.

I often think that the problem is that I know more or less all there is to know about drinking, it's harm, and how to stop, but struggle to make use of the knowledge. My Dad always says 'to know and not do, is to not know', but I think he got that line from a film or a book, still it has a ring of truth to it.

I will look into the naltrexone Moreaux, but I think it can only be prescribed by the alcohol service here, not my GP, and I did not really want to head back there unless I had to. I'll see how things pan out and bite the bullet if I have to.

My final delivery of Krat came today, so good for a week or so, I'm going to measure 10g into a tub each day and just use that amount so it lasts as long as possible.

I asked my GP about 5-hpt but he was unwilling to prescribe that, so I got a month's 20mg Prozac and an appointment to see him again in 4 weeks. I could buy the 5-htp myself, say a month's worth, as it takes a month for the prozac to start working, don't know if anyone has any thoughts on that?

For sober fun TPD I have not changed much, except there was an online game I have been part of for about 5 years and always played it whilst drinking at night. I quit the game in Jan when I first stopped drinking and still don't play it.
Regarding support, just my wife, no family nearby and few friends, which suits me just fine, and not forgetting you good people.

I have to figure out something for when that brain worm comes back, and I know it will, probably at the weekend sometime, but even yesterday with a slight hangover (and we all know hair of the dog is the best thing for a hangover...) I didn't have any urge to want to drink.

Not much news other than that I'm afraid.

I know I have asked, and will do some looking myself, but if anyone does have a view on 5-htp use when first starting Prozac I'd be glad to hear it. All for when the krat runs out and I know Prozac and krat are ok together.

Speak tomorrow.

R.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top