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Socially inept

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buzz88

Greenlighter
Joined
Mar 25, 2012
Messages
9
Location
UK
Ok pretty much I am 24 years old but seems I am completely socially inept and dependent on the people around me.
Like constantly texting and needing to be around people.

So pretty much looking tips and trying to figure how much is too much in a relationship both between friends and a lover as I am trying to work things out with an ex and get back with them.
 
buzz88 said:
Ok pretty much I am 24 years old but seems I am completely socially inept and dependent on the people around me.
Like constantly texting and needing to be around people.

So pretty much looking tips and trying to figure how much is too much in a relationship both between friends and a lover as I am trying to work things out with an ex and get back with them.
Click to expand...

Be more honest with yourself and your potentials. Eventually, with time, those personal insecurities which are easy to think of as your Egos lost sense of self, attempting to find an identity, even if it is that of another, will find a place of confidence with in yourself as there is no other way or pace for them to.
 
Maybe try and find a hobby or something to do. Sometime besides being needy. Get involved in something else. Something new.
 
you've gotta get to know yourself better and like yourself.
if you figure out how, please let me know i've got a similar problem.

or listen to bright eyes, connor oberst makes self-loathing and low-self esteem seem cool.
drugs work for me at first but they always turn on me. like now.

seriously though, i think self discovery is in order.
 
I used to have hobbies I enjoyed but they all cost money and once I became unemployed, well I could not afford them anymore.
I enjoyed photography but had to sell my camera, etc etc.
I do try and read a lot as it takes up a lot of time for me, but I have ran out of books at the moment and am trying to find a new series to read.

Good news is, I have just found out I start a new job tomorrow, which should take up a lot of my time and stop me being so bad, as all this started becoming an issue again when I became unemployed again around a month ago. Before then things were awesome, my friends invited me out all the time and such, and I was near back with my ex.

I used to love Bright Eyes back in my "emo" days lol.

I only use drugs when with my friends, so if they do not wanna be around me then saying to use drugs wont work. And ofc, since I only take e's they enhance your mood so if I am feeling shitty I am only going to feel worse surely?

I used to be really bad with all this stuff when I was younger, but as I said I overcame it when I had a job and reading to keep me occupied a lot and so was contacting people less. So, maybe it's all down to me being bored and lonely rather than being socially inept. So if I do get a hobby to take up alongside work, maybe it will be ok?
 
we have a lot in common.
you're three years older than me, but i reckon my social problems have probably caused more self-destruction in my life.
not so much lately though, and i just realized what i did to improve my like... ya know, dependency and stuff.

as far as friends, find a very small group of close friends that you feel comfortable around and that like you for who you are.
everyone else, well...
i've built a wall protecting me from everyone else, by acting smug and superior to pretty much everyone.
i wouldn't recommend this though.

just find a few people who you're compatible with and rely on them.
i'm sure the rest will fall in to place.
 
Grats on the new job, dude! That's pretty freakin awesome. That will help a LOT with self-esteem, and you'll be forced to be around people. I think right there that this will help you.
 
Cheers guys! I think over the past month being unemployed really has been my problem.
Had it out with the person I wanna get back with earlier and seems they think the same, I needa be more independent etc if it's gonna work between us.
Thanks alot for the support.
 
how much is too much? Find your hobbies again - it sounds like you don't have any anymore.

Learn to be comfortable with yourself, before trying to "be with" anyone else. otherwise you will have disfunctional relationships.

Be yourself, be independent, and be happy with who you are - work towards not needing people like you do.
 
Sometimes people that code think they know it all. That is why they were drawn to coding in the first place....bet.

Practice makes for better and more positive social interactions. Don't sleep on those that think out of the box, because being awake and alive means getting out there: like out of your comfort zone.

<3
 
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