Social expiriment: NYC

[atri]

id say its pure luck who you talk to
some people are more introverted, some are more extroverted
and most of the time it depends on their mood

 

[Patey]

I think you are failing to appreciate the way advertising has damaged purely social interaction. In today's world, a huge percentage of the communications from strangers that people experience are attempts to solicit from or sell to them. From billboards to panhandlers to kids selling magazine subscriptions to the ads in magazines to tv commercials.

After a while, you just get sick of being "sold" all the time. It's like, "Just leave me the fuck alone, I don't want to give you my shit, I don't want to buy your shit." Have you ever had a stranger start talking to you and you start to feel pretty cool because this person was drawn to socialize with you, and aftera few minutes they turn it into some kind of solicitation and you like, "Goddammit, I should have known..."

Anyway, I think people hate the fundamental dishonesty and power-control aspect of sale-related communications and are just fucking sick of it, and have learned through experience that if some one starts talking to you for no reason, they probably want something from you. So these people learn to shut it down at the outset.

It's just one insidious aspect of the rampant commercialism in modern society.

~psychoblast~

Thats a very, very itelligent theory. Good thinking.

I think this is a great explanation of society's anti-social ways.

 

[stillbeing]

i am in NYC every day and it is much worse than other cities. when I visit a place like san franciso there are SO many more strangers talking to strangers and when i talk to someone there they dont have that tough fuck off face that we wear here way too often . but , then again , we have to , I know , I was nearly killed here for money myself . changes how you feel about people in your city forever .

 

[MyDoorsAreOpen]

I'm in the process of moving to NYC, and have been there countless times.

I think this coldness should only be a problem for tourists. For people who actually live in NYC, there are an almost unlimited number of activities, clubs, 'scenes', support groups, volunteer groups, other pieces of civil society, and places of work, where insiders socialize just like in a small town. I mean, the place is literally teeming with them. Case in point: one night I read a poem I wrote at an open mike night somewhere on the Bowery. All night people kept coming up to me wanting to discuss my poem, and the organizer of the event was bummed to hear me say I wouldn't be in town the following week. It was a very un-NYC experience -- it could've been taking place at one of my more common haunts upstate.

Let me get nerdy about this. Look up the word 'in-group' on Wikipedia. I think the NE has a sharper in-group/out-group divide than most places in the US, and NYC and Boston are the most extreme in this regard. And no, all you cynics, I have seen little evidence that the majority of NYC's in-groups divide neatly along racial, ethnic, and/or religious lines. (Although I once busted out laughing when someone said to me, "I assumed you were Russian Jewish because you go to psytrance events.")

This strong in-group/out-group distinction is just an inherent cultural property of these places -- and many (dare I say most) places that have a long history and have always been densely populated.

If this bothers you, the NE, especially NYC and Boston, are not for you.

 

[JerryBlunted]

technically New York isn't New England, its a Mid-Atlantic state (NY to VA). New Yorkers are actually pretty friendly in terms of lending help in moments of need, if you are lost usually someone will point you out the right direction (never forget getting directions from a dude in east new york at 2am whom i assumed wanted to kill me, he was actually trying to prevent my untimely demise, who'da thunk it? pointed out the train i needed to grab and even offered to walk me over, which i politely declined).

the simple fact is when you are surrounded by humans and and their activities 24/7 you look for moments of silence when you can reflect on your day, etc. the public transport is one of the most useful places and times for this, so if you are butting into someone's head space they may not react favorably.

but as mydoorsareopen pointed out, within the city are so many chances for social interaction be it clubs, bars, museums, parks, offices, the ball park, etc. that you more than make up for the ignoring each other while walking on the street or in the subways.

personally, i spent much of my early childhood in cities having lived in miami, dallas, and boston. now i live outside of nyc on long island and looooove the time i spend in the city, especially going to yankees stadium, the museums in manhattan, and crazy house parties in brooklyn. the quiet of country life is actually a little bugged out for me. i like the background noise, activity, etc.