I was thinking about this the other day, and thought I'd share.
We all remember from high school, the fickle social hierarchy and quest for acceptance. Now if you're like me, and thought that the games and politics are something that people left behind in high school, you might be surprised, depending on the social setting. It turns out that adults can be prone to this behavior too.
I play competitive volleyball, and as I've gotten better at the sport in the past couple of years, I've really started to get an intimate look into the social politics of groups of adults, and how people act when searching for social acceptance in a large group of peers.
I've seen a lot of people come and go during my time playing. Some wash out, others stay out of politics altogether, but many are desperately looking for friends and acceptance, and it's a little like an anthropological experiment, to see them try to climb the rungs of the social ladder. I've broken it down into 5 distinct phases.
1.) Scan: Who seems well liked? Who is outgoing? Who is attractive? Who looks friendly? A social climber must be keenly aware of his/her surroundings.
2.) Meet: New people will generally be open to meeting just about anyone. They take this opportunity to suss out their quarry. The interaction is 90% body language, and 10% content. Confidence and social aptitude are measured during this critical first encounter.
3.) Scrutinize: Depending on the needs of the social climber, they must make quick judgments about people. A wrong move, and a climber might become associated with the wrong person. This is social suicide and must be avoided. It's critical to determine whether it's less less damaging to be seen with a person, or to be seen alone.
4.) Accept or Discard: Acceptance may be temporary. A social climber will take on temporary allies in their pursuit for the friends at the top of the social pyramid. Outright rejection is usually subtle, but results in future avoidance by failure to make eye contact or going out of one's way to engage in future social encounters with the rejectee.
5.) Climb! Once allies are established, the social climber must use them as a base of operations to upgrade their social status. If successful, interactions with current 'friends' will be progressively minimized, as a new tier of friends is achieved. Eventually, prior allies will be phased out completely.
This behavior now has a pathology. Do you know any groups that operate like this? Have you acted like this? Are we all a little bit like this? Feedback appreciated.
We all remember from high school, the fickle social hierarchy and quest for acceptance. Now if you're like me, and thought that the games and politics are something that people left behind in high school, you might be surprised, depending on the social setting. It turns out that adults can be prone to this behavior too.
I play competitive volleyball, and as I've gotten better at the sport in the past couple of years, I've really started to get an intimate look into the social politics of groups of adults, and how people act when searching for social acceptance in a large group of peers.
I've seen a lot of people come and go during my time playing. Some wash out, others stay out of politics altogether, but many are desperately looking for friends and acceptance, and it's a little like an anthropological experiment, to see them try to climb the rungs of the social ladder. I've broken it down into 5 distinct phases.
1.) Scan: Who seems well liked? Who is outgoing? Who is attractive? Who looks friendly? A social climber must be keenly aware of his/her surroundings.
2.) Meet: New people will generally be open to meeting just about anyone. They take this opportunity to suss out their quarry. The interaction is 90% body language, and 10% content. Confidence and social aptitude are measured during this critical first encounter.
3.) Scrutinize: Depending on the needs of the social climber, they must make quick judgments about people. A wrong move, and a climber might become associated with the wrong person. This is social suicide and must be avoided. It's critical to determine whether it's less less damaging to be seen with a person, or to be seen alone.
4.) Accept or Discard: Acceptance may be temporary. A social climber will take on temporary allies in their pursuit for the friends at the top of the social pyramid. Outright rejection is usually subtle, but results in future avoidance by failure to make eye contact or going out of one's way to engage in future social encounters with the rejectee.
5.) Climb! Once allies are established, the social climber must use them as a base of operations to upgrade their social status. If successful, interactions with current 'friends' will be progressively minimized, as a new tier of friends is achieved. Eventually, prior allies will be phased out completely.
This behavior now has a pathology. Do you know any groups that operate like this? Have you acted like this? Are we all a little bit like this? Feedback appreciated.
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