Sobriety - Bored, No Motivation, No Emoition

[krat]

I have always gotten high in some way since I was a teenager... now close to 20 years later I recently ended up in a situation where I have no money, no car, and am living with a sober family member.

I just can't find fun in anything. Its not that I can't think of things to do - its that I don't find any enjoyment while doing them.

I thought maybe I'll megadose on coffee, but only the first few sips really provide any change. Finishing the cup or having a couple more does nothing. I can't get motivated to do anything. I don't care about anything.. I don't even just miss the highs, I miss the lows too (as strange as that may sound). Its been like this for about 4 months.

 

[Moreaux]

Kudos on your sobriety, though I'm not certain if that is something you desire. I am almost three years totally clean though I quit everything but alcohol back in 2010. I was in active addiction for over 17 years. It takes time (around a year and a half for me) to start beginning to have natural fun/experience pleasure in life. I still battle with the energy issue now and am going to talk to my doctor next week to see if it could be a medical issue, though I think it's from drug use. I think it takes time to fully recover, especially if you have used drugs for decades. I do recommend eating healthy, exercising. And getting adequate sleep and having good sleep hygiene. I also recommend seeing a doctor and having a lot of blood work done, regular panel, hormones, neurotransmitters, etc as it's possible there is something else going on. You may also want to consider adding l-theanime to your diet, take it with coffee. Theobromine is also a natural mild stimulant that is similar to coffee but a cleaner sensation, and its great for tooth enamel. Sometimes I will take a dose after I brush my teeth in the morning and just put the powder on my tongue and rub it into my teeth for a few minutes before swallowing. However, I think the stuff I mention is similar to coffee where only the first dose has an energetic reaction. Indo take a gram of curcumin and a couple of mg's piperine in the morning along with coenzyme Q10 as that provides more long lasting energy. I also try to get 20g of protein in the morning and also in the afternoon as that helps with energy. I recommend having some good fats with the protein as well, and the curcumin and coenzyme Q10 need fat for absorption.

 

[polymath]

Anhedonia, a lack of ability to experience pleasure in daily activities, is a common PAWS (post-acute withdrawal) symptom after quitting drug use, especially alcohol or opioids. Some people say that full recovery can even take about half the number of years that you were in active addiction, but that might be an exagerration.

Moving this to Sober Living.
----------> SL

 

[GenericMind]

It takes awhile to adjust to being sober. I remember thinking there was no way in hell I'd ever be able to enjoy anything ever again, because I was used to everything being "enhanced" with drugs and alcohol. Even something as simple as watching a movie wasn't as fun.

But if you stay sober you start to enjoy life without being high again. Sobriety is what you make of it. If all you so is focus on the things that were better when you're using, you're going to miss out on the things that are better now that you're not using. Try to focus on those.

 

[herbavore]

Maybe you have another layer in the puzzle of yourself that you need to address. Addiction (or even lifelong use to avoid the pain of being human) is only one layer. It's a symptom of a dilemma rather than the dilemma itself--although it's understandable that it may seem that way based on what herculean strength it takes to tackle it. For people that started in adolescence or even childhood, it is particularly complicated because you never got the chance to develop the relationship with yourself that naturally gives you strategies for boredom, loneliness, self-esteem issues, lack of motivation, etc. So rather than being overwhelmed by the complexity or becoming fatalistic at the proportions of such a gargantuan task (becoming yourself!), hopefully the challenge of it can be a motivation. There is no downside to unraveling the roots of your pain as long as you keep going. The dangers are in getting stuck along the way (seeing yourself as an un-healable victim, getting stuck in shame or self-blame, getting stuck in some of the inevitable layers of your most tried and true familiar denials). This is not unique to addiction recovery. This is learning yourself so that you understand that you are not the story of your past alone; you are alive and therefore still able to steer the ship of yourself in new directions if you dare.

This is difficult, daring and sometimes tedious work. I remember when my first son was born. He didn't walk or even crawl until long past when he should have according to the norms and every other baby I saw around me. Once in a fit of terrified tears I said to the pediatrician, "Is there something wrong with him?" His response: "Have you noticed he has been speaking in complete sentences from his first 6 months of life?" His point was that often you may be working on one aspect of development and all your brain efforts go there while the rest of development is waiting on a back burner. How this relates to your situation, and many others dealing with the deep healing of addiction or mental health issues, is that perhaps you are doing deep emotional work so the normal motivations of life have to be pushed aside. I don't know but it's worth considering.