Sobriety affirming experiences?

[fallingup]

Was walking to my car to go to work this morning and the thought suddenly struck me 'Damn it feels great to be sober.' I had gotten 8 hours of sleep, cooked a healthy dinner the night before, looked fresh and felt like I was sparkling. I hadn't had that kind of strong and affirming feeling in a while. I really needed it. I mean, I've been doing well and staying healthy, no drugs since November, but not because I've felt great inside being sober or anything. Lately i've been forcing myself to be sober against my will. Honestly my cravings have been pretty bad of late- went to the grocery store over the weekend and just stared at the cough syrup for a few minutes before I tore myself away, same thing with some whip-its I almost bought. So what brought about the sudden excitement and thankfulness for sobriety? This past weekend I went to a rave and bought some powder from a random guy and did it. No clue what it was but I had chest pains and auditory hallucinations the next day- I last touched the stuff Saturday afternoon and all day at work on Monday I didn't feel right still. I still have a bunch left, I mean it was fun and had no comedown, but I can honestly say I'm not tempted to touch it now that I've been reminded of the jitters and 'just feeling off' sensation you get the couple days after you do a drug. It like reminded me of how feeling mentally normal- in a state of equilibrium is actually quite special and easily forgotten when you're on drugs or craving them.

I guess the reason I'm posting this is that id like to know if anyone else keeps sober this way? Not using for 6 month periods then using once to remind yourself why you prefer sobriety? More importantly, what are some other types of experiences that have made you excited about feeling sober? I'd like to chase those experiences instead.

 

[fallingup]

If this doesn't make sense to anyone, I guess I'd compare it to the first few days of a diet, where you feel really good about the healthy choices you're making and you genuinely dont want french fries or other crap. after a few weeks on the diet, you realize you could really go for some junk food, and the healthy diet feels a bit forced now. You give in and have the fries- you don't feel guilty about having them necessarily but you notice more than you did pre-diet the ways the fries make your body feel unehealthy. When you get back on track you have a renewed motivation for your diet and feel like you've been reminded of the reasons why you started in the first place. My question would be...is it possible to renew your faith in your healthy lifestyle without tasting the junk once in a while? If so,how?

 

[OxycoDrone]

I've only stayed off that long when I was in jail, but yeah it felt good. Even doing normal things like going to the gym or getting up early feel great and you know it's healthier for you.

 

[stardust.hero]

I think your case was special because you used a drug that wasn't your normal DOC and also had a negative experience from it. If I were to be sober for 6 months from opiates (my DOC) and cave one night and buy some I am positive that wouldn't affirm in my head that I was better off sober. Guilt is only a minor thing when talking in terms of drugs and addiction.

But on the note of having a realization that you are happy to be sober. Like waking up early and feeling good. I've definitely had those. I would say those with the exception of not using drugs a few days prior definitely are sobriety affirming.

 

[Kerrigan]

Being capable of using drugs occasionally is the goal; renouncing and fearing certain things because society publicly dislikes them and you can't trust yourself to triumph over them, well, that's a compromise to me.
Not a lot of people on this board would agree, I suppose...

Moments where you don't consider putting your savings on a hand of blackjack, but you still leave the casino with winnings and never having lost much.
Being able to go into a restaurant and order whatever you like because you enjoy it, but not stuffing your face with cake permanently.
Murdering people, but at such a frequency that one life will tide you over for a good six months to a couple of years, and no spree killing, plus never getting caught by the authorities (likely a separate issue).

I've quit things and thought "I enjoy this. I don't need to be high right now, but ultimately it would make the moment better, patently and obviously with no illusions caused by prejudicial organizations that preach brainwashing and 'The Bible' as a worthy replacement."

I am glad you enjoyed the moment of sobriety affirmation, because if you need to remain unfortunately sober, well, I'm sure it must feel good to reach your goal of being sober finally, likely after a hard battle.
Hopefully you'll end up able to use occasionally but not need it constantly; a juggling act, perhaps, but after a little practice, you'll eventually be able to juggle without even paying attention to it, like street performers.
While you're keeping your eye on your drug of choice, don't let another candidate for that position enter your life and successfully seduce you into more trouble than you're already in!
Good luck with everything.
I want you to succeed and be happy, because why shouldn't you deserve that? %)

 

[Trigeminal]

Being capable of using drugs occasionally is the goal; renouncing and fearing certain things because society publicly dislikes them and you can't trust yourself to triumph over them, well, that's a compromise to me.
Not a lot of people on this board would agree, I suppose...

Yea, except after a while, the rare use becomes more and more frequent, and you're right back where you fucking started.

I've tried this too many times to count. It always starts off ok, and then at some point, sometimes days, sometimes months, it sneaks back up on you and you're fucked.

If you're an addict, you just can't take drugs every now and then. If you can, than by definition, you're not an addict.

 

[herbavore]

Being capable of using drugs occasionally is the goal; renouncing and fearing certain things because society publicly dislikes them and you can't trust yourself to triumph over them, well, that's a compromise to me.
Not a lot of people on this board would agree, I suppose...

That may be your goal but stating that it is the goal for anyone else is assuming quite a lot. Renouncing and fearing things because society says you should may be bad but surely knowing that you cannot trust yourself to triumph over a substance is a good piece of knowledge to have about yourself and it pays to listen to it.

Murdering people, but at such a frequency that one life will tide you over for a good six months to a couple of years, and no spree killing, plus never getting caught by the authorities (likely a separate issue).

I hope this is sarcasm....

I am glad you enjoyed the moment of sobriety affirmation, because if you need to remain unfortunately sober, well, I'm sure it must feel good to reach your goal of being sober finally, likely after a hard battle.
Hopefully you'll end up able to use occasionally but not need it constantly

I have been sober for many years and there has been nothing "unfortunate" about it. It feels free and I experience life deeply and with passion. When things hurt they really hurt. When I experience euphoria there is no comedown afterwards. Best of all, I never have the feeling that something would be better than it is if I just had something else (a high). While I do not really regret some of the experiences I had with certain drugs, I do not need to keep them in my life forever because they were once good. All of this stuff is very individual. People have to decide for themselves what they want, are capable of, etc. TDS has helped me to understand that and I am very grateful for the education!

 

[Ms.Martini]

i don't think i can ever stay sober. i've been addicted to opiates a buncha times, then i'd quit cold turkey, and then after a couple months i'd be back to moderately using. it's not even that i'm bored, it just makes me so goddamn happy. fortunately, i don't have a choice BUT to use drugs moderately because i can't afford it, and the only times i was addicted, i'd be stealing em from my dad. i find the cravings never go away... there always there lurking in the back of your mind..

 

[bighooter]

ye but am I classed as an addict if I have never been off drugs for more than 3months in the last 10 years but have never continually used drugs/alcohol for more than 7days in a row.

Usually i will get high once or twice during the week and probably all weekend... but I go days and sometimes weeks without using drugs or alcohol.

But I find I am in a constant state of major depression and extreme social anxiety disorder so much so that I cant really talk to anyone (friends or family) because I feel so anxious.

I've had CBT and stuff but I really think ive got brain damage from doing too much drugs(i would list but too many- everything basically) but ketamine has been the main problem I think that has killed many brain cells.

I find it so hard to have a conversation with someone even when sober for weeks/ 3months max. I excercise consistently which is why I have always been able to IV drugs and not get addicted, but I just want to know whether you can be an addict if you dont actually do drugs everyday?

 

[Shrooms00087]

I've had a little of this lately. The way my brain rationalized it was being sober was as foreign as being high when I started drugs. My surroundings were dependent on being high so the lack thereof produced the opposite results.