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  • TDS Moderators: AlphaMethylPhenyl | paranoid android

TDS So confused

BabyGurl3171 said:
So far this is what I have.

What I deserve in a relationship:
honesty, no secrets, loyalty, love, affection, quality time, shared responsibility, communication, respect, trust, same values I have & stability.

What I want in life:
finish programming degree, stability, nice home, God fearin children, get my license back, good job I enjoy, all my kids home (ex husband has stolen two), loyal husband & to serve God properly.

I'm sure I'll think of more!
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Oh! Brilliant! I am so thankful you posted this - and that you took the time for yourself to begin creating a list. It's really wonderful - I mean that :)

Please do keep it up, and post anything else you can think of! I know for me, if I merely create lists in my head, the contents seem to get "lost in translation" even with short passages of time. You know what I mean? Putting these truisms down in writing is, and will be, of incredible value to you. This much, I know for certain.

Well-done, BabyGurl3171 =D
 
BabyGurl3171 said:
I don't mean fear as humans fear, more of a reverence. Respect of God.

Yeah, now if only I could find that guy haha
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If you're looking for 'that guy', you're not going to find him. You have to let go and let god (whichever god you chose to believe in). I've seen some wonderful things thoughout recovery and most of the stories that I hear where people have found a person they can love and be with happen in ways that cannot be explained.

Hell, my wife (been together for 18 years now) hated me when we first met. Circumstances and chance happened that we were put into a situation where we were able to learn about each other and we found that we really liked each other (I always had the hots for her anyway).

Do your work, finish that list. Share it with your counselor and just take things one day at a time. I've enjoyed following your story and look forward to seeing what's next for you.
 
Thank u all for bein so supportive!! I've decided to move on from the current jerk. I deserve better!

My ex that gets out in 11 days well we had a long talk. I told him I'd give him one month as a roommate to prove he really, honestly wants to change. We have 5 yrs together. He knows about my current bf and said he's not mad bc he knows I need companionship and it's his fault he went to prison, not mine.

Also, my laptop that was stolen was returned!! I must truly have God's favor. I just feel happy all around!!

I'll keep u updated. Still workin on my list but I think I got s good start!
 
It sounds like things are going your way now BabyGurl :)

That's great that you're giving your ex a place to stay once he's out, and even better that you've already talked to him about him being a roommate and not just coming back into your life as a partner again.

That is a great start to your list. You most definitely deserve it all, don't let anyone convince you otherwise.
 
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BabyGurl3171 said:
My ex that gets out in 11 days well we had a long talk. I told him I'd give him one month as a roommate to prove he really, honestly wants to change. We have 5 yrs together. He knows about my current bf and said he's not mad bc he knows I need companionship and it's his fault he went to prison, not mine.
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I'm glad for you that you were able to connect with him on a positive, open level.

Because I care, however, I wanted to say that for your sake, and given your burning desire for companionship, this roommate situation you've worked out may not - at all - be a great idea.

It was said best by this reply:

aliencowstorm said:
If you're looking for 'that guy', you're not going to find him. You have to let go and let god (whichever god you chose to believe in). I've seen some wonderful things thoughout recovery and most of the stories that I hear where people have found a person they can love and be with happen in ways that cannot be explained.
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...a brilliant, truly wise response acs!! Respect.
 
Vaya said:
I'm glad for you that you were able to connect with him on a positive, open level.

Because I care, however, I wanted to say that for your sake, and given your burning desire for companionship, this roommate situation you've worked out may not - at all - be a great idea.

It was said best by this reply:



...a brilliant, truly wise response acs!! Respect.
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Blind squirrel gets a nut on occasion. I'm going to drift here for a moment...the words squirrel and occasion are ones that I always mis spell. When and where does the two letter combo rule come into play!?!?

But in all seriousness, I hope you take what Vaya says to heart. Us humans don't fix easily and certainly not quickly. Entering into a situation where you may be vulnerable to past experiences may be a bad idea. Being alone is sometimes what the soul needs to fix itself, and you're not really alone as you have your kids and a full house of pets.

Give it the old Pepsi taste test challenge. Try it for a week, maybe two and see how it goes. Two weeks in the grand scheme of things is but a sliver in time.
 
Lmao oxy, good advice.

I have essentially been single for awhile now. I sleep on couch, there's no affection show. & we barely talk. he leaves in the morning and is gone all day til late at night. But u kno I feel relief without him there and his bs.

I think I might just be able to pull off this single stuff :)

Besides the girls keep me busy enough! haha

Thanks for bein here guys. I have no one go get straight advice from except here.
 
Goin great! I'm completely off probation finally, was waitin to pay damn fine lol. *snip* we've got to keep in mind at all times that comments glorifying drug use in TDS are in every reality triggering to others and need be avoided ~ VayaLife is good! *snip*

I'm finally findin my inner peace n I'm ok with me bein mom and dad :)

And yes, ur comment rocked! I'd love to cut his dick off n shove it where the sun don't shine....just sayin ;)
 
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