starshine_seraphim
Bluelighter
These things.
The things that plague me. Giant red-eyed demons. They stare.
I found something once that intrigued me. I place hopes so high, only to learn
the truth and the dark secrets that lie behind them. Skeletons in the closet?
HA! If things were only that easy! I wish that maybe someday someone could see
the things I see. I was once intrigued by you. When everything was new, when
it had that feeling of something different. I lost myself in a dream, and I
called it you. These thoughts that wont escape my mind, they beg to be
forgotten. I once thought you were out of reach. You put that into
perspective. I never quite thanked you for that. One time when nothing else
meant anything. I just want to lose myself in a loop again. The same five
minutes relived, yet chosen from another point in time. When there was
something once that meant everything, I put aside the negative thoughts, if
only for a brief second. These things I manipulate in my mind. I take the
mundane and increase in tenfold. End result? Total annihilation. The things I
once thought close, fly away out of sight completely.
Misinterpretation is a horrible thing. So many misconceptions, so many ideas
lost in translation.
For a brief moment in time, all that I had known all my life was forgotten.
All the emptiness, all the isolation. I come out with all the same clichés,
struggling to find something meaningful.
But hey, if it makes you feel alright, whats the harm?
If it makes you feel alright.
How can so many people float by your life, most of them mean nothing to you,
yet a very few grab ahold of you in a way you could never put into words? How
does this happen? Why is it most people mean nothing? Why is it only a few
grab your attention for more than five seconds? Why is it when these people do
grab ahold of you, it usually means the deepest depression you’ll ever feel
will be the end result? For so long I shut everyone out, no one could make me
feel NEGATIVE.
I keep building these walls around myself. I think that by putting up my
defenses, that I am protecting myself. It’s the double edged sword, folks!
The more I fight it, the more I get sucked in. the farther I run from you, the
more you drag me into the pits of hell in my own mind.
Have you ever sat in your living room and watched armies of Satan’s minions on
chariots spraying fire to everything you own? Have you ever seen everything
you’ve ever owned and/or cared about incinerated into nothingness?
Why must you liquefy my hopes? I was ready to begin the next chapter of my
life. I was prepared to leave this place behind. I was ready to wave a big
middle finger at everything I had become accustomed to.
Perhaps you think you can relate, maybe you understand where I’m coming from.
I’m afraid to inform you otherwise. I write these things not in hopes of
finding you, but in hopes of forgetting you. You came into my happy little
world, and made me forget of everything that wasn’t right.
Happiness in a pill? You betcha! Who could ask for more?
The deep blue sky brought me to another time and place. for a few hours I was
in complete solitude, nothing in the entire world could reach me. I was
shielded from technology of any kind, I forgot everything. I was alone with
existence in it’s rawest form: life.
Now all I can do is meld with the machine, and think back to the times long
ago.
Now when I envision the future, I think of cosmic flow. I think of times when
simplicity ruled, and the telecommunications demon had not yet grown into the
full-fledged ball of pure evil in which it lives today. I was ruined for life.
How can pure happiness ever be matched? What do you want your life to become?
To be a constant figure in someone else’s life? To be a drifter experiencing
something new?
What could hold your attention? What would keep you coming back for more?
Sheer attraction?
Personal interest?
Please.
Every day I wipe the despair and dread from my eyes, and wander aimlessly
towards my end. Do you think it would make a difference if you painted my name
on a burned down house? Do you think you would care if you knew what was in
store? Would you make any kind of effort?
I lost myself once in an old abandoned house. Created in my mind, perfected by
my imagination. The old rock walls are all that remains, the moss is so thick
on the floor that it’s as soft as carpet. I laid on the moss bed and could
think only of regret, and mistakes made many years ago. The feelings of
worthlessness gnaw at my feet and slowly creep towards my head. I fight them
off only with false thoughts of hope and happiness. The misinterpreted good
fortunes unmasks itself to reveal it’s true identity, sadness.
How can one thing, and one thing alone twist and manifest itself into
something so lonely and scared?
Tell the future that I am somewhat disappointed, and that I’m sorry I lost
interest. The one thing in this world that I thought might mean something has
ran away from me, and I will never find it again. When the newness wears off,
it becomes a never-ending fight.
Still chasing that first high, still chasing that time that it meant something
worthwhile. I wish I would connect with you at some point in time. Tell the
past I’m sorry what I have done, for it seems I’ve lost myself somewhere along
the way.
Provided things work out, and that I find you someday, perhaps I will thank
you for the happiness thou hast bestowed upon me.
Send word out that I have done these things, done these things with the best
of intentions, with the hopes of a time when things were real.
Where lies the perfectionist in you?
What part of you aches to be heard, only to be thought of only in dreams and
wishes? Overpowered by the thoughts of self-doubt and worthlessness.
Perhaps one day all of these things will break out.
So begins the never-ending fight.
The things that plague me. Giant red-eyed demons. They stare.
I found something once that intrigued me. I place hopes so high, only to learn
the truth and the dark secrets that lie behind them. Skeletons in the closet?
HA! If things were only that easy! I wish that maybe someday someone could see
the things I see. I was once intrigued by you. When everything was new, when
it had that feeling of something different. I lost myself in a dream, and I
called it you. These thoughts that wont escape my mind, they beg to be
forgotten. I once thought you were out of reach. You put that into
perspective. I never quite thanked you for that. One time when nothing else
meant anything. I just want to lose myself in a loop again. The same five
minutes relived, yet chosen from another point in time. When there was
something once that meant everything, I put aside the negative thoughts, if
only for a brief second. These things I manipulate in my mind. I take the
mundane and increase in tenfold. End result? Total annihilation. The things I
once thought close, fly away out of sight completely.
Misinterpretation is a horrible thing. So many misconceptions, so many ideas
lost in translation.
For a brief moment in time, all that I had known all my life was forgotten.
All the emptiness, all the isolation. I come out with all the same clichés,
struggling to find something meaningful.
But hey, if it makes you feel alright, whats the harm?
If it makes you feel alright.
How can so many people float by your life, most of them mean nothing to you,
yet a very few grab ahold of you in a way you could never put into words? How
does this happen? Why is it most people mean nothing? Why is it only a few
grab your attention for more than five seconds? Why is it when these people do
grab ahold of you, it usually means the deepest depression you’ll ever feel
will be the end result? For so long I shut everyone out, no one could make me
feel NEGATIVE.
I keep building these walls around myself. I think that by putting up my
defenses, that I am protecting myself. It’s the double edged sword, folks!
The more I fight it, the more I get sucked in. the farther I run from you, the
more you drag me into the pits of hell in my own mind.
Have you ever sat in your living room and watched armies of Satan’s minions on
chariots spraying fire to everything you own? Have you ever seen everything
you’ve ever owned and/or cared about incinerated into nothingness?
Why must you liquefy my hopes? I was ready to begin the next chapter of my
life. I was prepared to leave this place behind. I was ready to wave a big
middle finger at everything I had become accustomed to.
Perhaps you think you can relate, maybe you understand where I’m coming from.
I’m afraid to inform you otherwise. I write these things not in hopes of
finding you, but in hopes of forgetting you. You came into my happy little
world, and made me forget of everything that wasn’t right.
Happiness in a pill? You betcha! Who could ask for more?
The deep blue sky brought me to another time and place. for a few hours I was
in complete solitude, nothing in the entire world could reach me. I was
shielded from technology of any kind, I forgot everything. I was alone with
existence in it’s rawest form: life.
Now all I can do is meld with the machine, and think back to the times long
ago.
Now when I envision the future, I think of cosmic flow. I think of times when
simplicity ruled, and the telecommunications demon had not yet grown into the
full-fledged ball of pure evil in which it lives today. I was ruined for life.
How can pure happiness ever be matched? What do you want your life to become?
To be a constant figure in someone else’s life? To be a drifter experiencing
something new?
What could hold your attention? What would keep you coming back for more?
Sheer attraction?
Personal interest?
Please.
Every day I wipe the despair and dread from my eyes, and wander aimlessly
towards my end. Do you think it would make a difference if you painted my name
on a burned down house? Do you think you would care if you knew what was in
store? Would you make any kind of effort?
I lost myself once in an old abandoned house. Created in my mind, perfected by
my imagination. The old rock walls are all that remains, the moss is so thick
on the floor that it’s as soft as carpet. I laid on the moss bed and could
think only of regret, and mistakes made many years ago. The feelings of
worthlessness gnaw at my feet and slowly creep towards my head. I fight them
off only with false thoughts of hope and happiness. The misinterpreted good
fortunes unmasks itself to reveal it’s true identity, sadness.
How can one thing, and one thing alone twist and manifest itself into
something so lonely and scared?
Tell the future that I am somewhat disappointed, and that I’m sorry I lost
interest. The one thing in this world that I thought might mean something has
ran away from me, and I will never find it again. When the newness wears off,
it becomes a never-ending fight.
Still chasing that first high, still chasing that time that it meant something
worthwhile. I wish I would connect with you at some point in time. Tell the
past I’m sorry what I have done, for it seems I’ve lost myself somewhere along
the way.
Provided things work out, and that I find you someday, perhaps I will thank
you for the happiness thou hast bestowed upon me.
Send word out that I have done these things, done these things with the best
of intentions, with the hopes of a time when things were real.
Where lies the perfectionist in you?
What part of you aches to be heard, only to be thought of only in dreams and
wishes? Overpowered by the thoughts of self-doubt and worthlessness.
Perhaps one day all of these things will break out.
So begins the never-ending fight.
