slipped up after being clean for over a month

[PendulumAM]

so to keep a long story short, I was IVing pills (oxys and roxies) and then heroin for about 6 months, and then I was forced to quit when I came home from college for summer break. I don't have any connects or sources at home, so even though I still craved opiates, I detoxed with suboxene that I had brought with me (my boyfriend is perscribed it). well I live with my family while I'm not at college, and my moms friend lives with us too because he has fallen on some hard times. he has a script for oxy 15's that is supposed to last a month but he blows through it in less than a week, so when he got it a few days ago I took a few everyday without him noticing.
now he predicatably has ran out, and I feel stupid for slipping up. I was doing great before, I was happy without opiates and actually enjoying life again. now I am going back to my suboxene and doing this all over again. it's not as bad as quitting 6 months of dope but I still feel like a stupid junkie who will never totally shake this habit. I try to tell myself that I only did the pills because I got them all for free, but who knows if I will have the willpower to say no to a bag of dope once I go back to college? I am worried...

 

[Jakeperson]

Relapses aren't uncommon, focus on being happy without opiates again.

You CAN quit, and you will.

 

[theotherside]

It is all a part of quitting...opiates are not a one method fits all type of recovery...don't do anymore from here on out and you are back on track. In the words of the matrix "everyone falls the first time"

 

[QuasiStoned]

Honestly it's not a huge deal. It happens to a lot of people, it's just important not to let it go back to ruling your life. Or allowing yourself to rationalize becoming addicted again, because you already slipped up.

Just keep working towards a future free from opiates, and you'll likely make it there in time

 

[n3ophy7e]

but who knows if I will have the willpower to say no to a bag of dope once I go back to college? I am worried...

If you have coped well enough for a month without having any dope, then YES you have the strength to say no when you get back to college. You just have to put yourself in the mindset of when you were back at home and dope wasn't available. It's ultimately up to you if you choose to get high or not, but you DO have the willpower to say no.
Also, as others have already said, relapse is a common part of anyone's recovery from drug addiction so please don't beat yourself up about it. Sobriety is an ongoing journey, it doesn't just happen overnight, you have to keep working at it constantly. It's tough but it's so worth it in the end