• HEALTH & RECOVERY
    Welcome Guest
    Posting Rules Bluelight Rules Thread Directory 1 Thread Directory 2
    Mindfulness Links Addiction & Mind
    Sober Living Partner Program (SLiPP)
  • H&R Moderators: VerbalTruist

SL Social ver. United in Recovery

Serotonin101

Serotonin101

Moderator: SIED
Staff member
Joined
Jul 23, 2009
Messages
6,441
Location
STL
Title says it all. Doesn't matter what fellowship you come from or your drug of choice as this thread is aimed to gather us 12 steppers together to share experience strength and hope. Share recovery stories, advice on step work and finding sponsors, favorite quotes, etc. Maybe you're not sure if the 12 steps are for you, this could be the beginning of your quest to gather information! Feel free to introduce yourself as well so we can get to know eachother a bit if you'd like. Also feel free to talk about issues you're going through as well. I'd like this to be an all around support thread where we can help eachother out.

As for me, I'm Sero. 22 year old recovering heroin addict and a product of NA. Been clean for almost 15 months from all drugs and have worked through the first five steps. Just restarted on step one as I switched sponsors. I'm dreading doing all this writing again but it'll be worth it. Hope everyone is having a great spring so far.
 
Yo!!

Just found out about this forum from GP. I'm on step 12 so I'm all about helping others.

I've been very self seeking lately. I spent countless hours on online dating sites trying so hard to find someone. I had some kind of fantasy of me meeting the perfect woman who had brilliant music taste, a place, and a car to drive me around.

When I look back I think it's hilarious. I had several dates, and they all sucked. I had ONE that was good. We were really clicking. We had a second date and I kissed her and she flakes out. Frustration levels were thru the roof. And It was un necessary.

I called my sponsor and he realized I haven't been doing my 10 and 11th step every day.

I did a nightly review. I looked at my past nightly reviews from over the months and noticed a pattern in my self-seeking behavior with women.

As I wake up, I'm going to ask god to remove this behavior and show me how to be helpful to others.
 
Anything to help my extended recovery family. I just got off the phone with my sponsor and we're going over my first step tomorrow. He called me a whore because of my sexcapades in the program and said it wouldn't hurt me to be single for a bit but I'm free to do as I please lol. Started reading my literature again today and I feel great. Today has been a great day!
 
I saw an old friend today. Well, not too old, but we were friends in the salvation army transitional community after I got out of prison. We became friends and he always looked out for me. He's around 40 so he had a lot to teach me about people, life, women, etc. He always encouraged my art and gave me art supplies. He is from Dallas, and I am fairly new to this city, so he taught me a lot.

Well he came to visit me a couple months ago. He was fucked UP. He fell in love with some woman he met at the salvation army, and she burned him, so he used that as an excuse to use. He showed up on heroin, xanax, and alcohol. I hung out with out for a few hours and even though it was funny to watch him act like an idiot, it was hurtful and disappointing. I helped him make a sign that said "homeless veteran needs food" becxause he had been pan-handling downtown a lot. My friend told me he had came up to his work, begging for money. After i heard that, I made a decision to permanently cut contact.

He disappeared for a while. Turns out he failed a UA and went to a temporary lockup. Luckily he had a good lawyer who bailed him out. He has been sober for a while and contacting me on fb a lot. I kept ignoring him, but slowly came back around and returned his fb message. I still have been pretty flaky toward him. Not just because of him using, but because I have been caught up in my own self-seeking bullshit so much lately that helping others came last.

Well today, I had the day off, and had to run some errands, so I figured id give him a call. He met me downtown and we hopped on the train and caught up. When we parted ways, we shook hands and he said something that really surprised me. He's the really cocky know-it-all type. Not someone to say stuff like this, but he said it :

"hey ... I'm glad you called. That really meant a lot to me. I want you to know that.." then he hopped on the train.

It was at that moment when it hit me.. Sometimes helping others means just being there..
 
Well my sexcapades gave me a scare. Three days ago my ex told me her period was late... well today she texted and said her period came! Sero not gonna be a daddy!
 
Hey ya'll. I was really glad to see bluelight start a recovery forum. Once I got sober I slowly lost interest in posting on here (weird right....:D ). Not much else to say right now. See you around!
 
Really smooth day today..

I see now how important morning meditation and nightly review are.. (steps 10&11)

There was this girl today who approached me today as I was eating lunch. She asked me if my work was hiring. I said yes, and showed her the way. We rode in transit together.

Instead of my normal motives and thoughts of "how can this woman help me?"

I shifted to "how can I help her?"


This got rid of a lot of my anxiety and frustration and I feel spiritually healthy again, and this is only from one day of doing my proper 10 and 11th step. Even though I am through the steps, it is constant maintenance. I sometimes think "o, I have a year clean, I got this." and become spiritually disconnected and go into autopilot. I then look up and noticed that I feel like shit and can't figure out why.

Also, instead of listening to my earbuds all day, and ignoring the world, I have tried to engage with more people today. A lot of people just want someone to talk to, and just listening can be helpful to others.
 
I finished my first step again. Had a good talk with my sponsor tonight and we learned about eachother. Kicked ass in school today on a couple tests and a speech. Life is great for now. Just about to lay down and catch some shut eye before another great day tomorrow :D
 
Serotonin101 said:
I finished my first step again. Had a good talk with my sponsor tonight and we learned about eachother. Kicked ass in school today on a couple tests and a speech. Life is great for now. Just about to lay down and catch some shut eye before another great day tomorrow :D
Click to expand...

That's awesome to hear! <3
 
Hope you guys are enjoying the day as much as me.

It's beautiful outside. It's been cold all week so it is a relief

I do have to work but.. I got a new position. I was promoted and have a desk by the window on the 10th story. I can see the while city. Mostly I just see the tops of trees. It looks like a forest with buildings sprouting up.
 
^^ It is very gorgeous outside!

Congrats on the promotion!
 
rx_prn said:
^^ It is very gorgeous outside!

Congrats on the promotion!
Click to expand...

I know right. And thx.
Serotonin101 said:
I wish I had a job lol. Let alone a promotion :P
Click to expand...

My job is a shit job, there are many like it but this one is mine! Of all the shit jobs I've had, this is the least sucky. I'm clocked in right now..

You can have one too.. Ill get you a job here.

Captain.Heroin said:
Much <3 to everyone. I'm having a challenging day but I know everything will be OK.
Click to expand...

Keep your head up.
 
Lol SS. Nice full metal jacket quote. Where's this job at? I'm in glorious St Louis and I would not mind a geographical change. Plus you could show me around to some meetings as well
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top