single acid trip prolonged negitive effects, NEED ADVICE

[george carr]

Hi everyone this is my first post to this forum (or any forum) so i apologise if i have posted this in the wrong section. i am relatively new to the world of drug taking, perticulary hullusinagenicgs. i have taken lsd on two occasions the first time i took only half a tab and although my trip wasn't exactly 'good' i did not have any long term effects past the following day.. however the second time i took it (which was about 1 and a half weeks ago) i swallowed a hole tab and had a very uncomfortable and confusing time during parts of the night, i took it with my house mate, a person who i have been best friends with since the age of 7, i am 20 now. anyway as the night went on i became more and more uncomfortable in his company and i could tell it was mutual and things between us just got really strange and horrible. i have only taken acid twice so i am not the most experienced but i can imagine that this alone is not uncommon, however ever since the trip things have remained very awkward between us and it really saddens me and worries me as this is someone who i am most close to and who i used to feel the most comfortable with (he is like a brother to me), not to mention i have to live with him until September next year. i feel like both of us are different now as a result of the trip, he has become strange and i am even creeped out by him at times. me on the other hand i am not sure if it is my own paranoia but i feel like i have lost my personality, i feel lost and like my outlook on reality has been altered. i am uncomfortable in social situations, cannot hold a convocation well and just feel different, i worry that i appear to other people like my house mate now appears to me. i apologise for rambling on but basically these are my questions. can a single acid trip permanently effect an individual or does it take multiple uses to do permanent damage? will this feeling that i am lost and no longer the person i used to be eventually fade for me aswell as the awkwardness with my house mate?. its probably worth mentioning that everyone in my house including me smoke weed almost every day for the past 3/4 or so months, could this be contributing?. however i have quit weed and all drugs from today for the time being. i fear i will fail university and become deeply depressed if i cary on the way i have been.

 

[Solipsis]

Hi and welcome,

yes you have come to the right forum - but it wouldn't be a big problem if you hadn't.

There are more people who have this sort of reaction. LSD does not really do damage like the outright pruning (dying) of brain cells with one or more uses, but it does cause mental changes.

More than one issue is at play here:
- Individually psychedelics like LSD can change a person, causing more or different self-awareness which can then result in various things like paranoia and confusion, but also good things like personal development. It can be just an episode, but it can also be the start of a process that might take a while. It's best if you don't see it as permanent or damage, usually it's not permanent unless it involves triggered mental labilities - you shouldn't assume it's something like that.
The altered outlook on reality as you call it, is likely the core of this particular issue. It can take time to adjust to this, and how you deal with it may very well determine how you end up changed. So try and be open to the possibility that you're just seeing things in a new light, and possibly this is what makes things confusing or uncomfortable. You can use it to grow as a person, but I can't really tell you how to go through your process as I think it's quite personal. Try to be compassionate towards yourself and not panic over the implications of this unexpected change in your life. Trust in yourself and that you will go through this as an extra stage of development on top of all the developments in your childhood and adolescence. Granted, puberty is not as sudden as an LSD trip, but it's stilll a huge difference that makes a lot of people become insecure and many other things. Imagine slipping into something like that overnight, but sans the hormones.

- Between you and your house mate and long time friend... maybe it helps if you share a bit here about what creeps you out. It could be, he is just going through something similar, but it is also possible he has quite different issues. It could be awkward even if you're each going through your own individual transitions. Have you considered approaching him to just talk about what happened and telling him that you feel strange and awkward but emphasizing that you care about him and are maybe concerned (if you are that)? In the right non-threatening tone, it could at least reconcile the awkwardness that is just due to the confusion over what happened, even if you're left with confusion about your mental changes.

I have personally gone through something similar to this (but let's keep in mind that there are likely a lot of differences and not only similarities), I later found out I have both ASD and ADD which play a role in the whole story, and my experience involved a mystical state that lasted for many hours. But yeah that caused an existential crisis, and I had to re-answer many questions about why I was doing what I was doing and being how I was being... and on top of that answer questions to myself about life and existence, so philosophy and spirituality.
I did for certain reasons fail university, but had I known I have ADD, and had they not pretty much canceled the study as it were, had I sought help for certain problems it may have gone quite differently. I also went on to abuse way too many drugs but did correct myself in each instance, eventually - going through various dependencies. Partially I am very grateful because I became a more complete person and sort of forgot who I ever was before. As if I was a puzzle falling into pieces, but after piecing the parts together again was much better put together in certain ways - because it was done more consciously.

Like you I quit weed and other drugs for a while after it happened (for 6 months, then I went back to tripping on mushrooms to try and address the problems in the language it all began in - tripping).

Don't despair, but don't make mistakes like I made... and you could turn this into something quite positive most likely!

Also, for further discussion it would probably help for us if you try to formulate what is difficult for you, what exactly makes you feel strange and when, etc. I know it's hard, but it helps to address the issue and also it may help yourself to make things less fuzzy. Just start with any example, a situation that makes you awkward and the kind of thoughts you have... preferably the most difficult moments if you can.