I wrote these down and thank you in advance,, if you will read this.
May it bless you in wonderfull ways,
Some major events, looking back with over 50 years of experience and looking for love and truth.
- Bullied as a kid for many years. Until i took the chance to hurt one bully so badly, noone EVER bullied me again in my life.
Lesson learned: I learned not to let people walk over you. Don't ever stay a victim.
There is a way out.
- At 15 years of age my granny died, my girlfriend Caroline got leucaemia at 15 and died.
And my most beloved cousin jumped in front of a train at age 32.
That trashed all my faith in God and i went on a rage of hate with the realisation that life is unfair.
I now have accepted it.
Lesson learned :Life is unfair, has always been unfair and will always be unfair. Learn to deal with that asap! Deal with it now.
My cousin telling me he'd not live to become 32 years of age, was another turn in my life.
He committed suicide at 31.
Then i started to live my life, as if i wasn't going to reach 32 years of age.
- Then i became 32 and although i lived out life to the max i was done for.
I didnt want this life anymore
Worst years of my life.
Got into very hurtfull engaments and a marriage and nasty divorces, as my ex-wife started a lesbian relationship right after our marriage.
That combined with heroin addiction for 17 years.
Lesson learned : I did not get to decide when my time has come to die.
Then the biggest miracle happened.
In my total despair I called out in my closed off room, ready to end my life.
I called out loud 'I don't want this life anymore, meaning i wanted to die.
Then a voice sounded in my room 'you have to repent'
That was supernatural and i knew it.
I remembered hearing about repentance from a Christian who told me about Jesus several times.
I found the guy and he prayed a simple prayer and I became a Christian.
That moment my life really began.
I went from death to life and 18 years later i still see everything through the lens of my faith in Jesus.
One prayer to break my addictions made my head and heart quiet, after 17 years of worries, hustling, using, waiting annxiously for my next fix.
All was quiet within that prayer.
I had found what i was looking for.
Serenity in God.
The God i hated so much for all these self-destructive years.
Realising God was real and me getting to know Him, will always and eternally the most epic, supernatural and most fascinating event of my whole life!!!
Next event was being diagnosed with incurable, inoperable bowelcancer, which metastasized to my lymphenodes at age 46.
As i heard this news, it didn't surprise me. I knew something bad had developed, i had the symptoms and with my knowledge through my degree and experience as a surgeons-assistant i kept pushing the examinations, the diagnosis took too long and i was told it was too late.
But my faith took me into my bible that evening and i read 'this text:
“This sickness is not unto death, but for the glory of God, that the Son of God may be glorified through it.”
It jumped out of the page like the letters were glowing and i couldnt read past it.
But i believe God's word, so i took Him up on His word.
And i believed that, over any doctors opinion.
Eventhough uncurable, the docs started whatever in their possibilities to try to help me and they was with chemotherapy and radiotherapy at the same time.
Months on end.
Then had to wait in the hope the tumor would shrink.
5 months later it did shrink and 2 surgeons decided they wanted to take the risk and dared to operate.
It was strange but very familiar, trusting my body and the surgery into the hands of my closest colleages i ever had.
And Glory to God, I was healed, the treatment worked and I'm cancerfree for almost 5 years now.
Lesson learned: NEVER throw the towel in the ring.
Never allow yourself to give up. If thing are that bad, they can only get better!
Next event: living life with nothing to lose and everything to gain.
That's freedom. Knowing to love and live in gratitude, that im still here!
I appreciate life more and see what relationships are good for me and which are toxic.
I've become less naive. People who keept hurting me needed to get out of my life completely, how painfull it is at the time, it has been only 100% good for me and my family.
Lesson learned : Don't just trust everybody. Most are not to be trusted on the long run, but always keep looking for the few and especially for the one you can trust.
And the most impressive life event must be meeting my soulmate, my dreamwoman.
They first time i met her outside our workplace, she came to church when i was preaching a sermon about true love.
There i was telling my ( little did i know) future wife-to-be what true love meant.
And oh, what an adventure of discovering true love we went.
Finding the one woman, that respects you, cares for you and all you have to do is love her, for her to love you back.
Its amazing and i thank Jesus for teaching me how to love a woman, by taking care of and loving myself so i can meet all her needs.
I asked her to become my wife this summer and we are engaged to be married!
This adventure i live everyday, every breathing moment and i hope someone will read this,
and may take my word and learn from the events and lessons learned.
I bring hope in Jesus mighty name. There's always hope in Him.
I pray this story of my life may touch somebody who needs hope or feels things will never change.
Things are gonna change, baby!
The best is yet to come!
Love you all, may God protect you in life's big events and guide you to the truth.
The truth will set you free!
