milkdub
Bluelighter
1. Drug Description: 1/8th split between a friend (who I’ll call A) and myself. We ate the dried cubenis mushrooms—I chewed slowly and sipped vegetable soup with it to mask the taste.
2. Background info: I tried shrooms for the first time this summer. I was partially recovered from a 2 day run on meth, so I was a little depressed and fatigued. I had purposely stopped taking meth only a day before doing shrooms so that I could be well rested for the trip. I wanted to experience shrooms, since I had heard so much about it before. I had unintentionally experienced hallucinations several times before and became really intrigued by it, so I really wanted to have more of them with shrooms.
4. Experience: At first, we wanted to shroom at a park, but decided against it because we wanted to see how the drug would affect us first. We ended up doing it in A’s room, our usual chill spot, at around 2 PM. At first, we just watched some Family Guy, waiting for the shrooms to kick in. After about 15 minutes, I began to worry that it wouldn’t work, but A was starting to feel it. She said that her hands and head were tingling. She was starting to act a little weird and went off to another corner of the room by herself and was just sitting there. She later told me that she was staring at a piece of lint on her pants that jumped off and was squirming away.
Around 2:30-2:40: I got sick of watching cartoons so I turned it off and asked her to put on some music. She put on electronic/lounge music, which immediately began to take an effect on my trip. I was just lying on her bed staring at the ceiling (which had a bumping/pointy texture). I started screaming that her walls were moving. Although she seemed a bit annoyed that I was interrupting her from her lint, she came to lie beside me. Then she said, “Whoa. My walls are moving.” There were wave-like patterns moving across the ceiling with specks of color. After I put on some PVD sets, the patterns on the ceiling changed from wave-like to kaleidoscope-like.
Honestly, at this point, I basically lost track of time. I’m not sure how long we were staring at the ceiling for. The posters around her room were starting to morph and stretch as well. She had paper cranes hanging from her ceiling, and while they were spinning from their string, time would become suspended and they would stop spinning midair. They soon began to stretch and skew into different shapes while the kaleidoscope patterns on the ceiling continued to intensify. At this point we were very giddy and laughing the whole time. I needed a break from the ceiling, so I went under the covers where I fell into some vortex. The patterns on the blanket were swirling and morphing.
I wanted to take a break from hallucinating. I didn’t know they would be so on-going! I closed my eyes and to my surprise, continued to hallucinate. These were a lot more intense: they involved light, bright colors, and different locations. A voice inside my head, which acted like a guide taking me on a tour to another dimension in my mind, was speaking to me and showing me visions. I felt that I was not the source of this voice because it was telling me things that I did not know before and it had come upon me involuntarily, even forcefully. It revealed that infinity was infinitely large, infinite in its truths, and was contained by my mind. The voice also showed me the infinite nature of nothingness, from which all things originate. It was so beautiful that I began to cry and smile at the same time. I no longer feared nothingness; in fact, I wanted to embrace it, because it granted true freedom. The voice then showed me the cycle of all particles, and how we all came from one, became deconstructed, and then become reconstructed into one.
When I finally opened my eyes I saw that A also had her eyes closed and was crying. Then I said, “I know you were there with me the whole time.” She nodded in agreement and kept crying as she talked about nothingness, she also understood its beauty. I felt a strong bond with her because we had been in the same vision together. We couldn’t stop crying even though we felt content, calm, and enlightened. During our discussions, I would occasionally lose my speech to gibberish: “Containment is a human construction. So are these words I’m using. Words, words, words…garble, jergle, bergle.” We named others who also knew these things. A said (fierce tears aflow), “S tried to tell me, but I just didn't understand. You just have to know, you know? But that’s okay, all that matters is that we know now.”
We continued to have open-eye hallucinations, more intense than before. It was so hard to focus on reality. I was also starting to have a bad trip because it was all getting to be too much; it was a lot more truth than I had bargained for. My eyes could not focus because things would not stop moving and changing shape. I was scared that I was going insane and be disconnected from reality permanently. I kept trying to figure out when the shrooms would wear off but my mind would not focus on reality. We slowly and gradually calmed down around 6:30-7:00 PM, A went back to normal first. She put on a movie for me, but I could not focus on the movie’s plot. Instead I kept analyzing and deconstructing the characters in the movie. By the end of the movie, I was back to normal and ready to go home. I was exhausted but in a great mood.
5. I thought I had a great first trip. It gave me everything I wanted and more. I felt very content with the world and myself for the next two days. Life felt wonderful. I was a little fatigued, but still in good spirits. It had changed my outlook on life somewhat. I continue to deconstruct human constructed concepts in order to free my mind. Although I cannot remember everything, I believe all of it has stayed with me. I have shroomed several times after this, but this was the most memorable experience because the first time definitely has the element of surprise.
2. Background info: I tried shrooms for the first time this summer. I was partially recovered from a 2 day run on meth, so I was a little depressed and fatigued. I had purposely stopped taking meth only a day before doing shrooms so that I could be well rested for the trip. I wanted to experience shrooms, since I had heard so much about it before. I had unintentionally experienced hallucinations several times before and became really intrigued by it, so I really wanted to have more of them with shrooms.
4. Experience: At first, we wanted to shroom at a park, but decided against it because we wanted to see how the drug would affect us first. We ended up doing it in A’s room, our usual chill spot, at around 2 PM. At first, we just watched some Family Guy, waiting for the shrooms to kick in. After about 15 minutes, I began to worry that it wouldn’t work, but A was starting to feel it. She said that her hands and head were tingling. She was starting to act a little weird and went off to another corner of the room by herself and was just sitting there. She later told me that she was staring at a piece of lint on her pants that jumped off and was squirming away.
Around 2:30-2:40: I got sick of watching cartoons so I turned it off and asked her to put on some music. She put on electronic/lounge music, which immediately began to take an effect on my trip. I was just lying on her bed staring at the ceiling (which had a bumping/pointy texture). I started screaming that her walls were moving. Although she seemed a bit annoyed that I was interrupting her from her lint, she came to lie beside me. Then she said, “Whoa. My walls are moving.” There were wave-like patterns moving across the ceiling with specks of color. After I put on some PVD sets, the patterns on the ceiling changed from wave-like to kaleidoscope-like.
Honestly, at this point, I basically lost track of time. I’m not sure how long we were staring at the ceiling for. The posters around her room were starting to morph and stretch as well. She had paper cranes hanging from her ceiling, and while they were spinning from their string, time would become suspended and they would stop spinning midair. They soon began to stretch and skew into different shapes while the kaleidoscope patterns on the ceiling continued to intensify. At this point we were very giddy and laughing the whole time. I needed a break from the ceiling, so I went under the covers where I fell into some vortex. The patterns on the blanket were swirling and morphing.
I wanted to take a break from hallucinating. I didn’t know they would be so on-going! I closed my eyes and to my surprise, continued to hallucinate. These were a lot more intense: they involved light, bright colors, and different locations. A voice inside my head, which acted like a guide taking me on a tour to another dimension in my mind, was speaking to me and showing me visions. I felt that I was not the source of this voice because it was telling me things that I did not know before and it had come upon me involuntarily, even forcefully. It revealed that infinity was infinitely large, infinite in its truths, and was contained by my mind. The voice also showed me the infinite nature of nothingness, from which all things originate. It was so beautiful that I began to cry and smile at the same time. I no longer feared nothingness; in fact, I wanted to embrace it, because it granted true freedom. The voice then showed me the cycle of all particles, and how we all came from one, became deconstructed, and then become reconstructed into one.
When I finally opened my eyes I saw that A also had her eyes closed and was crying. Then I said, “I know you were there with me the whole time.” She nodded in agreement and kept crying as she talked about nothingness, she also understood its beauty. I felt a strong bond with her because we had been in the same vision together. We couldn’t stop crying even though we felt content, calm, and enlightened. During our discussions, I would occasionally lose my speech to gibberish: “Containment is a human construction. So are these words I’m using. Words, words, words…garble, jergle, bergle.” We named others who also knew these things. A said (fierce tears aflow), “S tried to tell me, but I just didn't understand. You just have to know, you know? But that’s okay, all that matters is that we know now.”
We continued to have open-eye hallucinations, more intense than before. It was so hard to focus on reality. I was also starting to have a bad trip because it was all getting to be too much; it was a lot more truth than I had bargained for. My eyes could not focus because things would not stop moving and changing shape. I was scared that I was going insane and be disconnected from reality permanently. I kept trying to figure out when the shrooms would wear off but my mind would not focus on reality. We slowly and gradually calmed down around 6:30-7:00 PM, A went back to normal first. She put on a movie for me, but I could not focus on the movie’s plot. Instead I kept analyzing and deconstructing the characters in the movie. By the end of the movie, I was back to normal and ready to go home. I was exhausted but in a great mood.
5. I thought I had a great first trip. It gave me everything I wanted and more. I felt very content with the world and myself for the next two days. Life felt wonderful. I was a little fatigued, but still in good spirits. It had changed my outlook on life somewhat. I continue to deconstruct human constructed concepts in order to free my mind. Although I cannot remember everything, I believe all of it has stayed with me. I have shroomed several times after this, but this was the most memorable experience because the first time definitely has the element of surprise.
