Ive had 3 shroom trips and each one changed me in a better way , excpet the last one that was a horror trip. It left me with some positives about life like taking care of my body and thinking about things objectivey and focusing on my grades. Aside from changing my personality for the better , before I did shrooms I was an annoying as person I admit , after shrooms I am real chill and mellow now and I seem to understand things a lot better and more clear then before. For example learning knew things , or focusing on school assignments.
The problem is my last trip was a pure anxiety panic attack which brought out derealization during the trip and 24/7 derealization after dabbing weeks after the trip. The derealization left me with an anxiety problem and feelings of questioning life and existence , it made me more philisophical and showed me how simple life is and how you can go through the motions without stopping to think about what your doing. But thats the negative part it showed me how hard life is and I just feel like we work so hard and we just die not knowing wtf happens to us , I understand that our memories and experiences is what makes life worthwhile but idk its just a scary thought. I also had to quit weed which I really loved because of my parents and derealization and at times life is boring , I am almost 3 months sober and I want to smoke so bad but I know I cant... What makes it even worse is everyone at my school smokes and dabs its literally so fucking tempting and makes me kind of sad that they are able to and I cant , it makes me feel inferior that they can enjoy it while I can't. I dont enjoy things as much I did before that bad shroom trip , like games I previously loved I dont like as much , and activities I liked I dont like as much either... The only thing that hasn't changed is my love for music and bass.
I really appreciate what shrooms have taught me , but at the same time it really changed and altered my perspective on life in a positive way but also a negative one , it made me be myself more and be free around others but sucked previous interests away from me. I personally feel that shroom tripped ruined weed for me...
My derealization makes everything look 2d , like I am looking at a flat painting through my eyes , or the world is a piece of paper that can be ripped in half at anytime , I feel sometimes like my mind and body are kind of separate its weird as fuck I tell you lol I can still feel pain , and move my limbs voluntarily and I fele like my arm is my arm is just feels like it isnt sometimes. Also when I look in the mirror I dont recognize myself , I feel like I changed so much its weird af , the only thing that keeps me in check is my memories and my rationality , I basically say "This is how you would look without drug use" "Your perception is merely changed , but you're the same individual you were before drug use"
Thoughts and opinions?
The problem is my last trip was a pure anxiety panic attack which brought out derealization during the trip and 24/7 derealization after dabbing weeks after the trip. The derealization left me with an anxiety problem and feelings of questioning life and existence , it made me more philisophical and showed me how simple life is and how you can go through the motions without stopping to think about what your doing. But thats the negative part it showed me how hard life is and I just feel like we work so hard and we just die not knowing wtf happens to us , I understand that our memories and experiences is what makes life worthwhile but idk its just a scary thought. I also had to quit weed which I really loved because of my parents and derealization and at times life is boring , I am almost 3 months sober and I want to smoke so bad but I know I cant... What makes it even worse is everyone at my school smokes and dabs its literally so fucking tempting and makes me kind of sad that they are able to and I cant , it makes me feel inferior that they can enjoy it while I can't. I dont enjoy things as much I did before that bad shroom trip , like games I previously loved I dont like as much , and activities I liked I dont like as much either... The only thing that hasn't changed is my love for music and bass.
I really appreciate what shrooms have taught me , but at the same time it really changed and altered my perspective on life in a positive way but also a negative one , it made me be myself more and be free around others but sucked previous interests away from me. I personally feel that shroom tripped ruined weed for me...
My derealization makes everything look 2d , like I am looking at a flat painting through my eyes , or the world is a piece of paper that can be ripped in half at anytime , I feel sometimes like my mind and body are kind of separate its weird as fuck I tell you lol I can still feel pain , and move my limbs voluntarily and I fele like my arm is my arm is just feels like it isnt sometimes. Also when I look in the mirror I dont recognize myself , I feel like I changed so much its weird af , the only thing that keeps me in check is my memories and my rationality , I basically say "This is how you would look without drug use" "Your perception is merely changed , but you're the same individual you were before drug use"
Thoughts and opinions?