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Should I smoke for 4/20? Seriously ambivalent...

ErgicMergic

ErgicMergic

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May 13, 2011
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Should I smoke just for 4/20? I haven't smoked for 5 weeks now, and I feel great. I was extremely psychologically addicted to weed, not even opiates and benzos got me truly psychologically addicted, despite having moderately severe pain and minor anxiety.

Something about weed clicks for me, and it consumes me when I'm using it. It's either on (stoner) or off (break). There's no "occasional use" for me.

I can't function in a productive manner on it, so I usually get high and listen to music, watch movies, or browse the internet, letting my life go to shit in the meanwhile. I am seriously surprised at my discipline to stay away from it for so long. I still love smoking, and always will, but I'm not at a good point in my life success-wise (bad grades in college, despite being intelligent), not a lot of money to spend on weed, anxious about my life, on probation (I can still smoke) due to cannabis extracts, etc.

I've been a bigtime stoner for 5 years now, smoking top grade 3-4 times a day, with hash and kief thrown in when I felt like it. I would never have planned a break, I just stopped smoking for a day to cram for a test, then I studied more the next day, then I just didn't smoke the third, since it gets easier as time goes on. Five days in, I'm thinking about it less and less, and before I know it, five weeks, wow.

My life has greatly improved in a short month, and I just don't want to screw it all up again by starting up my habit again. I seriously don't even have an urge to smoke this 4/20, but should I do it for shits and giggles? I know I'll love it like I always do, then the next day I'll be like, "fuck it I smoked yesterday," and so on and so forth. They say once an addict, always an addict, has anyone gone to occasional, weekly/monthly use after stopping heavy cannabis use?

I love life stoned, but I love life sober even more. Being stoned all the time makes me depressed, socially anxious, and mildly dissociated from the world. It's like I've been merely existing in this world for the last five years, now I'm actually living in it.

I was thinking about dropping acid again in mid-May, but I can't imagine it without cannabis, the two go together like Nutella and peanut butter, so I'm thinking that might be my 4/20...
 
Short answer: no.

Don't ruin what you have already done. It's a great accomplishment to have stopped weed, and you should go on with your life and forget weed altogether.

It's always there and you may be surprised again in the future with weed. Take your time and continue your break. Congrats ;)
 
I feel the same way...don't give in to it though. Of all the drugs I have used, even habitually pot is the one that has the biggest psychological urge for me and feeling of if i do one day it'll be months till I stop again. This is coming from the perspective of someone with a 90mg dexedrine a day/ 1 mg ativan a day legal habit...It is soooo easy to give in to that and say fuck it...so give yourself other reasons not to smoke. For me its been like 2.5 weeks or so since my last pot...and before that january I stopped for 2 weeks while overseas before someone I met in the airplane flying over texted me offering to smoke me up for free, before that I stopped all summer. I ALWAYS tell myself I'll just smoke for a day but I have like ZERO self-control when stoned. I've literally had a $100/day weed habit for months at my worst and lied to my parents etc. to get it (to be honest it probably wouldn't have gotten so high if I had to steal or whatever for it, I just come from money).

The motivation I am using not to smoke today is a really hard exam (mechanics of materials) with a CT scan in the hospital this evening of my broken foot (knowing me I would probably brag to the X-ray tech I was stoned or something else really dumb). You have to find your own reasons and even if they are dumb, convince yourself they are important. Last time I was in rehab they said to take the whole experience into perspective i.e. comedown instead of just the high.

Even still though...I find motivation to not get fucked up reallllly hard for any drug. I have been offered free lines of blow tonight at an acquantance's apt (he says he doesn't like to do it alone, and I know he really will give it for free cause last time it was him me and another friend railing his 8 ball and percs). I kinda already said yes cause I am not really able to say no with that sort of shit even though I really don't want to. I don't know how I am going to dodge his place till I forget bout the offer...I can plan out my future actions really well but when it comes to the here and now I am impulsive as fuck in a purely self-destructive manner.
 
ErgicMergic, I have to agree with the others, I would say NO to smoking today. There is no real reason for you to give in today. You're doing so well man, you feel great, why take a step backwards when you're already feeling great about yourself?

Today, instead of smoking pot, why not do something else that makes you feel good about yourself? Do you have anything in mind that you could do instead of get high?
 
Palfun, you had a $100 a day weed habit? I am not doubting you but i couldn't imagine it being physically possible to consume that much smoke in one day.
 
I think you answered your own question multiple times, OP. I hope that you will resist all the hoopla and stick with your break--it sounds like it is doing you a world of good. Instead of smoking today, why not write to Obama or your congressperson or even your state governor to support legalization, or decriminalization at the federal level. There are multiple ways to mark 420. ;)
 
I feel the same way with weed as OP, I miss the thought of it in theory (1 year of probation will do that I guess) but I know in reality it just made me a lazy bastard so I'm hesitant to do it again

Beat Narrative said:
Palfun, you had a $100 a day weed habit? I am not doubting you but i couldn't imagine it being physically possible to consume that much smoke in one day.
Click to expand...

Yea I used to smoke a LOT I thought but $100 a day although physically possible...doesn't seem physically comfortable
 
$100 is only a quarter ounce=10 large joints or so...at one time I was the smoke 2 joints to get out of bed, one every few hours, several in afternoon/evening and maybe one when i woke up in the middle of the night to go back to sleep
 
lol. i hope you haven't caved in yet.
i can see why the temptation is so great for an ex stoner to blaze up on 420.
but its just another ordinary day.
you've stayed off weed this long, its not psychically addictive so you should be able to hold off, right?
however i do agree with it being extremely mentally addictive. but if youve been clean for this long i think you can beat stoopid 420 day :P
 
I do not mean to make light of your situation but that scene from half baked popped into my head immediately upon reading this - "Marijuana is not a drug. I used to suck dick for coke... '" "(I seen him)" "Now that's an addiction man. You ever suck some dick for marijuana?" Oh Bob Saget you so crazy. That being said different people can become mentally dependant on a whole different number of things. If indulging in those things has or does negatively affect your life than it can be a problem. So no, I do not think you should smoke on 4/20. It is just like any other addiction "just this once" turns into "just on weekends" etc etc. It is a slippery slope man. Plus not to get all hipster on you but screw doing what culture or society expects us to do when they expect us to do it anyways. But I digress and that is another conversation for another time. In short my advice to you is "Just say no to drugs." (or in this case 'Just say no to marijuana'). ;-)
 
I quit for a few months, smoked one joint and I've been stoned ever since. My life went to shit really quick and I lost all the progress I made. If you're out of the rabbit hole and you don't require it in your system anymore, why bother? I'm quitting again and I won't make that mistake this time, although I must admit, I've been quitting for 2 years now.

For myself anyways, it's time to leave this addictive and side effect causing plant in the dust. Keep off the weed it probably makes you retarded, and tricks you into thinking that it does good for you, which happens to me. Also, you'll probably trip out better having been off weed for so long.
 
4/20 is not exactly high school shit for a marijuana addict (it even feels weird typing that); it's merely another excuse to smoke. i hope you didn't, dude. i wish i could get past day three of not smoking, truly, i'm somewhat jealous of your progress. stick with it.
 
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