• HEALTH & RECOVERY
    Welcome Guest
    Posting Rules Bluelight Rules Thread Directory 1 Thread Directory 2
    Mindfulness Links Addiction & Mind
    Sober Living Partner Program (SLiPP)
  • H&R Moderators: VerbalTruist | cdin | Lil'LinaptkSix

Should I quit?

P

PROF420

Greenlighter
Joined
Feb 24, 2020
Messages
5
I been using meth by oral ROA since I left rehab, almost 2 years ago, previous rehab I smoked for 3 years daily and slammed for 6 months daily. Now I ingest a very tiny amount of meth, dont now how much is it but i fill tiny capsules with it, ido this once or twice per month, I work out of the city for 20 days an I have 10 days breaks from work each month, on my workdays i dont use.

So i wanna know what do you think about it, lately I being thinking a lot, I feel a lot of stress after each use, but at the same time I feel stressed a lot when I am in my rest days from work, i want to use so bad but after I use and beat my meat for 8 hours I want to be meth free. Some using friends say i overthink too much, that my use is moderate and that I should just enjoy it.
 
PROF420 said:
Some using friends say i overthink too much, that my use is moderate and that I should just enjoy it.
Click to expand...
You re-read this about 20 times.
Ya think they have your best at heart?
Ya already got something in yer mind and here it is.
Quit?
Quit what pat?

Best always,
ptah

and welcome to bluelight ;)
 
Hi @PROF420 and welcome to Bluelight! :)
Basically, if you're asking the question "should I quit", I think you already know the answer....
From what you posted here it doesn't actually sound like you enjoy it much to be honest. So why bother with it??
 
Ya you need to quit I would say to you.

I am like that with propylhexedrine similar in structure I need to stop for the life of me so of course I say this.
 
hope to hear back from op hope it aint laden with spam or ssomethin
how ya feelin?
got any "pets" aroud? they hungry?
love
 
Well, thanks for the replies, I was asking a question with an obvious answer, eventhough I feel uncomfortable listening to my "pals" advice, and kept ignoring to whom speaks the truth about addiction, even when its myself the one who is telling it, there is a point where you meet reality.

So in the last 7 days I was bust by the police with 2 of my "friends", while we were inside the car of my sister, we got 2-3 g with us, dont know about US and other first world countries, but here in mexico you can get them off your back with a few bucks, bucks that came straight out of my pocket, and bucks wich I cant afford to spend on bullshit like this.

I did not use during the next 3 days, but once again I got a reality check, the results of my graduation test came out, you guess it right, i failed it, no big deal Icant take it again in 6 months, could had been in 2 months but, you know. Since some plans fall down after failing the test+ doing meth I had mood swings, a sudden necesity of use more meth, etc. I didnt do anything violent or drastic, but is obvious that if I keep doing meth, Im going to head straight to that path, at best my current cycle of being on unnecesary situations is going to be perpetuated.

So right now I think I will keep doing the few thinks that help me a little, exercise, shrink meds, and keep focusing on my job/career, especially the last one beacuse the shame and the fact that is unethical to work intoxicated its one of my strongest brakes, but getting back to AA once I am on my free days could be the missing piece.
 
So since the first of October Ive been clean from all substances bar nicotine, also my psychiatric treatment includes Tradea (methylphenidate 54 mg) , only took 1 more tablet than prescribed once. So now I feel good for the most part of the day, but the meetings at AA are getting boring, the feeling to use comes and goes, but honestly looking at people that still use keeps me from using.

I just feel kinda empty sometimes, for some reason, there are times where I cant see the light at the end, hopelessnes perhaps?. Want to be 2 years clean already, meth fucks with your head so bad. Dont know why but at AA meetings I dont want to talk, feels good to hear others stories, but I feel like I dont have much to talk and dont really like how everybody wants you to speak off every single meeting. Also, they want me to get a mentor ( dont know how you say "padrino" in english speaking countries) but the last time I got one didnt work, Im very introvert person.

Just rambling a little bit, but hey, I havent touched meth in 34 days so I guess Im on good track.
 
PROF420 said:
So since the first of October Ive been clean from all substances bar nicotine, also my psychiatric treatment includes Tradea (methylphenidate 54 mg) , only took 1 more tablet than prescribed once. So now I feel good for the most part of the day, but the meetings at AA are getting boring, the feeling to use comes and goes, but honestly looking at people that still use keeps me from using.

I just feel kinda empty sometimes, for some reason, there are times where I cant see the light at the end, hopelessnes perhaps?. Want to be 2 years clean already, meth fucks with your head so bad. Dont know why but at AA meetings I dont want to talk, feels good to hear others stories, but I feel like I dont have much to talk and dont really like how everybody wants you to speak off every single meeting. Also, they want me to get a mentor ( dont know how you say "padrino" in english speaking countries) but the last time I got one didnt work, Im very introvert person.

Just rambling a little bit, but hey, I havent touched meth in 34 days so I guess Im on good track.
Click to expand...
That is EXCELLENT you've been clean for over a month now!! That is a huge achievement so I hope you feel proud of yourself <3
The empty feeling will subside over time. Unfortunately it's due to the chemicals in our brain being all out of whack from substance abuse. This is especially pronounced in users recovering from abuse of drugs that act on dopamine e.g. meth, speed, coke. But the good news is that the brain is incredibly good at healing itself. It just takes time, AND maintaining a healthy lifestyle free from drugs and alcohol.
If going to the AA meetings helps you, keep going to them. You are never obliged to speak, you're always free to just listen. Sometimes all I got out of going to meetings was that it took up time that I would normally be drinking/using drugs. Whatever helps :)
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top