Should I make my friends pay??

[QuestionEverything]

for the record, i agree with alasdair. and if i broke something, whether it's a glass thingy, or a tv, or a window, i'd want to replace it with something of equal value, if at all possible. i just don't think i'd be good at asking someone else to do the same, and would try not to let that affect the friendship. if that makes sense.

That makes total sense and I feel 100% the same. If I were at a friend's house drinking I would still feel responsible to at least *help* with the cost of replacing something I broke, if not completely replace the item. I am still responsible for my actions, inebriated or not.

I wouldn't make a huge issue over a friend breaking something of mine, but would hope they would at the very least offer to *help* replace it. Things are not as important as friends are, but friends that accept no responsibility and have no consideration aren't really the kind of friends I want either.

 

[n3ophy7e]

should friends be responsible for helping pay for damages if it happens in a hotel room?

Good question vibby.
Depends on who did the damage?

Have we heard back from the OP? I need closure!

 

[His Name Is Frank]

As bad as it may be, you're just going to have to cut your losses. It would be different if it was due to a fight breaking out or if they did it intentionally. But, this isn't the case. You threw the party. You took the risk. Just look at it as an expensive lesson learned. I'm sure you will be extra cautious next time you throw a party, which is good. They may have prevented an even costly accident from happening on down the road.

You should discuss this with the friends in question either way. This is something that could build up and cause you to resent them without them even knowing why. If they offer to throw some cash your way, all the more better. If not, don't hold it against them and don't ask.

 

[ethos_and_logic]

Yeah, it goes all the way back to the "You break it, you buy it"

*Let them pay you in installments

 

[xxkcxx]

It really is up to you in the end, but I know if I did it, I would want to help replace it if I could, but $900 is a lot of dough for a decorative piece. I guess, like someone else said, I would feel differently about a TV--maybe because I think it would take A LOT more than bumping into it to break it.

If my friend asked me to pay and offered installments, I probably would, but I don't think our friendship would be the same...especially if they know my financial situation and would know that even an extra $50 a month would severely hurt my pocket book.

I mean, it is, when it comes down to it, something used to decorate your home that is replaceable (which means it's not an antique, heirloom, or one-of-a-kind). It's not the heating/AC unit, water heater, refrigerator, etc.

But, then again, it's not MY decorative piece, so I don't know how attached you were.

 

[Mariposa]

i wonder if opinions would change if it was a $900 tv that got knocked over and busted...

I had a similar thought. It's easier for a lot of people to deal with the prospect of losing a piece of art that may or may not be replaceable if they aren't dependent on the object as one of few sources of entertainment.

[To the OP] Well, you couldn't sue for negligence over it since all four elements of negligence haven't been met. More here. It would be the ethical thing to do for the person who knocked it over to pay between 50-75% of the cost. While it was the host's responsibility to do his or her due diligence and put the valuables out of harm's way before planning a party, it's still the clumsiness of the person who broke the valuable item that made it so we even have to have such a discussion.

I would offer to pay what I could up to and including half, taking into account extra circumstances on either end.

 

[Coolio]

It really is up to you in the end, but I know if I did it, I would want to help replace it if I could, but $900 is a lot of dough for a decorative piece. I guess, like someone else said, I would feel differently about a TV--maybe because I think it would take A LOT more than bumping into it to break it.

If my friend asked me to pay and offered installments, I probably would, but I don't think our friendship would be the same...especially if they know my financial situation and would know that even an extra $50 a month would severely hurt my pocket book.

I mean, it is, when it comes down to it, something used to decorate your home that is replaceable (which means it's not an antique, heirloom, or one-of-a-kind). It's not the heating/AC unit, water heater, refrigerator, etc.

But, then again, it's not MY decorative piece, so I don't know how attached you were.

When someone can afford a $900 decorative piece, and the person who breaks it considers $900 to be a ton of money, I think it's unreasonable for your less wealthy guest to be expected to pay you back for it.

 

[vibr8tor]

but she didn't say she could afford it; it was a gift. and we aren't talking about toddlers who have no concept of value. i don't care how drunk you are at a bar; if you fall over into the speakers or sound system, they're going to hold you accountable. if you get drunk and walk into a china store and break stuff, same thing. if anything, you should be more careful when friends are concerned, because they don't have insurance to help cover losses like this.

 

[Coolio]

but she didn't say she could afford it; it was a gift. and we aren't talking about toddlers who have no concept of value. i don't care how drunk you are at a bar; if you fall over into the speakers or sound system, they're going to hold you accountable. if you get drunk and walk into a china store and break stuff, same thing. if anything, you should be more careful when friends are concerned, because they don't have insurance to help cover losses like this.

There is a reason businesses have insurance on the goods in their place of business. I've never heard of anyone being charged for accidentally breaking something in a store. If a drunk bar patron falls onto the sound system, it's more likely the bar would be liable for any injury to the patron than the patron would be liable for fixing the broken speakers.

When you run a place of business, or host a party, you are responsible for your customers or guests.

 

[QuestionEverything]

There is a reason businesses have insurance on the goods in their place of business. I've never heard of anyone being charged for accidentally breaking something in a store.

You've got to be kidding me. Maybe not in Wal Mart, but most smaller stores (which would be a better comparison to a person's home) have 'you break it, you buy it' policies.

I'm somewhat shocked at the lack of expected responsibility here.

 

[Coolio]

You've got to be kidding me. Maybe not in Wal Mart, but most smaller stores (which would be a better comparison to a person's home) have 'you break it, you buy it' policies.

I'm somewhat shocked at the lack of expected responsibility here.

So after you pay them for breaking their stuff, do they also get to collect the money from their insurance company?

 

[Coolio]

I'm somewhat shocked at the lack of expected responsibility here.

Well, I am in America. If a stranger slips and falls on the sidewalk in front of my house, I'm responsible for that. The stranger who is ACTUALLY responsible for his own fall is NOT responsible legally.

 

[QuestionEverything]

So after you pay them for breaking their stuff, do they also get to collect the money from their insurance company?

Fuck if I know, nor do I care in this context (but I'm guessing those that have this policy don't carry insurance).

It's irrelevant either way though; we're not talking about a store that can make a claim to their insurance company. We're talking about a person's private home here.

[I'm in America too. It depends on why they fall. ]

 

[Coolio]

In America it's considered beyond irresponsible to open a place of business and not insure it. If you have an insurance policy that covers your goods or services, the insurance company is responsible for paying for any damages or fraud. It's up to the insurance company to try to extract money from the person who caused the damage or fraud, not the business owner. The business owner can't legitimately collect money from both parties, and it's pretty rude to expect a customer to pay when the insurance company will do it for them.

When you invite people over to your house to GET DRUNK, it's considered beyond irresponsible to expect them to be responsible for their actions there. The purpose of a drinking party is to get reckless and wild. You probably shouldn't be hosting parties if you don't have homeowner's insurance either.

As the host, you should not expect them to clean up their mess. If there was no malicious intent, I don't think you should expect them to pay for damages either, but I honestly don't have a strong opinion about that specific situation. I'm glad to hear both sides of this issue.

 

[QuestionEverything]

In America it's considered beyond irresponsible to open a place of business and not insure it. If you have an insurance policy that covers your goods or services, the insurance company is responsible for paying for any damages or fraud. It's up to the insurance company to try to extract money from the person who caused the damage or fraud, not the business owner. The business owner can't legitimately collect money from both parties, and it's pretty rude to expect a customer to pay when the insurance company will do it for them.

I don't necessarily disagree with you here, and I feel it is somewhat irrelevant to the thread, so I'm just going to move on . . .

When you invite people over to your house to GET DRUNK, it's considered beyond irresponsible to expect them to be responsible for their actions there. The purpose of a drinking party is to get reckless and wild. You probably shouldn't be hosting parties if you don't have homeowner's insurance either.

I couldn't disagree with the above more. Never once have I had a party or invited friends over to drink and expected any of them to become reckless and wild. If they did I probably would have asked them to leave. I do not consider it "beyond irresponsible" to expect my adult friends to be responsible for their actions while they are drinking and respectful while they are in my home. They are adults. They are responsible for themselves. I am not their babysitter. End of story for me.

As I said before, I wouldn't let it ruin a friendship if an accident did happen, but I know my friends and they wouldn't just expect me to foot the bill either.

 

[LoveAlways]

This reminds me of when I went to visit my dad in Mexico and I stayed at his house. I came home (his house) one day and the when I went to open the door, the doorknob fell off. He told me it was acting funny before and didnt know why. Then he asked for $70 to replace it. I thought that was pretty bogus.

I guess this is different though. I really wish the OP would come back and let us know whats up

 

[xxkcxx]

You've got to be kidding me. Maybe not in Wal Mart, but most smaller stores (which would be a better comparison to a person's home) have 'you break it, you buy it' policies.

I'm somewhat shocked at the lack of expected responsibility here.

I believe that stores are legally responsible to have insurance for these matters and while I don't feel like searching right now, we had a whole discussion in a legal studies class about how it is technically not the "breakers" responsibility to "buy it" because of that insurance. Also, if you offered to buy it out of the goodness of your heart, you should ask what their cost is instead of paying the retail price.

But no, legally it is NOT an enforceable concept by law.

 

[Jabberwocky]

Im back!

While cleaning up the Mardi Gras mess, I saw that $70 was stuck under my broken piece. Obviously one of my friends felt very bad, and made a nice gesture.

I talked to my mom about the incident and she demanded to be paid back what she paid for it. Well, turns out she only paid $80 for it. She needs to report it to the government and record it in her records as "a total wash". 6.5% (sales tax) on the item has to be paid to the government. I signed a personal check for $80 and got it out in the mail today. She yelled at me a lot and told me I have horrible friends that party too much. At 27 years old we are "just too damn old for this". Then she said, "I hope one day you are passing by a store and see the exact same piece for $8000."

I bet that some day that will actually happen.

One of the friends that fell into it is insisting on paying for the actual value
($900) for it. I told her that it won't be necessary, since the cash was laid underneath and I already gave my mom a check.

Personally, I am somewhat shocked at many of the responses of "Host's fault, friends shouldn't pay." If I were at someones house and did the same exact thing, I would replace it... No questions asked. Certainly, I wouldn't expect the host to assume all responsibility simply because he or she had a small party. Im under the firm belief of "You break it, you buy it."

Furthermore, I am not going to make my friends pay its worth. If they insist, and want to- I won't refuse. It makes me sick to look at that broken piece now (which I attempted to superglue). The thick cracks stand out and I can't help but look. I loved that piece. It was truly beautiful, and now it has no value. The last thing I want to do is lose any friendships over this. Afterall, it is just an object.

 

[Cornishman]

If I were at someones house and did the same exact thing, I would replace it... No questions asked.

The world needs more people like you.
Go forth and multiply!

 

[spork]

You have good friends!