Fyasko.
Bluelighter
So when my parents came to find out that their son was gay, they weren't exactly thrilled about it. this happened about 2013 when I was a mere 16 years old. verbal and psychological abuse to no end because they knew if anything was done physically I would have proof of abuse (I made it abundantly clear that their choice of words were mildly equivalent to torture) that caused some very big issues for me in highschool, I started experimenting and found myself about a year later being admitted to a rehab for stimulant addiction. my dad is very overweight and I think personally I took amphetamines because I wanted to be as skinny as a twig AND they made me happy (artificially I know). I am thankful for what happened as nowadays I see my friends dabbling with amphetamines and am able to warn them of the psychological/physiological dangers.
anyways i have taken Effexor on and off since that period (its been a godsend) and I ended up taking benzodiapines as prescribed for the anxiety attacks that came with the depression. I've been tapering off of my clonazepam for a few months now and my life is noticeably different and not for the better. I had to move back home with my parents, I'm just trying to restart college, I'm working full time to get myself out of car debt from a crash i got into, AND DEALING WITH BENZO WITHDRAWAL SIMULTANEIOUSLY.
then it dawned on me;
I'm tapering off of this medication for no reason other than i don't want to fuck up my brain so to speak.
my issues at home have not been resolved, and i have a LOT of personal work to be done.
my question is:
Is it logical of me to think that i should stay on my prescribed medication routine instead of tapering, until i feel like my life is at a spot where i can afford to be bedridden, anxious and just dealing with the effects of benzo withdrawal? I'm prescribed 1mg/2x daily clonazepam and got down to just needing 0.5mg as of a few days ago. but like i said things haven't been so hot for me and what prompted all of this is a fight with my mom today and my reaction of basically pre-seizure symptoms (tremors, shaking, rapid light breathing, trembling voice) was enough for me to say Fuck it I'm prescribed this medication FOR THIS EXACT REASON WHY AM I GETTING OFF OF THIS STUFF THATS PRESCRIBED FOR THIS PROBLEM.
i cant tell if i just am coming up with excuses in my head. my mom said today that i had fried my brain on klonopin (I'm actually really smart. 3rd in CA in high school for pharmacology, I'm actually a commodity/forex trader self employed and i taught myself everything i know) just their words and behavior towards me really leave a mark and I'm afraid if i get off my meds ill be doing more harm than good to myself.
thanks in advance for responses, and i haven't posted on here in a long time so sorry if its too long or boring
anyways i have taken Effexor on and off since that period (its been a godsend) and I ended up taking benzodiapines as prescribed for the anxiety attacks that came with the depression. I've been tapering off of my clonazepam for a few months now and my life is noticeably different and not for the better. I had to move back home with my parents, I'm just trying to restart college, I'm working full time to get myself out of car debt from a crash i got into, AND DEALING WITH BENZO WITHDRAWAL SIMULTANEIOUSLY.
then it dawned on me;
I'm tapering off of this medication for no reason other than i don't want to fuck up my brain so to speak.
my issues at home have not been resolved, and i have a LOT of personal work to be done.
my question is:
Is it logical of me to think that i should stay on my prescribed medication routine instead of tapering, until i feel like my life is at a spot where i can afford to be bedridden, anxious and just dealing with the effects of benzo withdrawal? I'm prescribed 1mg/2x daily clonazepam and got down to just needing 0.5mg as of a few days ago. but like i said things haven't been so hot for me and what prompted all of this is a fight with my mom today and my reaction of basically pre-seizure symptoms (tremors, shaking, rapid light breathing, trembling voice) was enough for me to say Fuck it I'm prescribed this medication FOR THIS EXACT REASON WHY AM I GETTING OFF OF THIS STUFF THATS PRESCRIBED FOR THIS PROBLEM.
i cant tell if i just am coming up with excuses in my head. my mom said today that i had fried my brain on klonopin (I'm actually really smart. 3rd in CA in high school for pharmacology, I'm actually a commodity/forex trader self employed and i taught myself everything i know) just their words and behavior towards me really leave a mark and I'm afraid if i get off my meds ill be doing more harm than good to myself.
thanks in advance for responses, and i haven't posted on here in a long time so sorry if its too long or boring
