• The Dark Side 💕 Welcome Guest 💕
    Posting Rules Bluelight Rules
    Notable Threads Urgent Hotlines
    Bereavement Mindfulness
    Suicide Support Anger Management
  • TDS Moderators: AlphaMethylPhenyl | paranoid android

Positive Share Something Positive About Your Day vs This Does Not Suck (͠≖ ͜ʖ͠≖)?

Just wiped up brunch for the family.. fresh mots (try it in your omelettes you will love it), sharp cheddar, mushroom, bacon red sweet pepper and still have red onions from last years garden omelettes and homemade salsa and some dank raspberrie preserve a friend of fam gifted us.

Going to food coma out to the Bucks game and then left biceps, legs and abs.

Had a record profit day on sat
 
The guy in my basement is finally laughing at ALL of my jokes. I KNEW he was just being sulky at first. So glad he does find me hilarious, after all.
That, or he just REALLY wants his insulin.
But probably he just genuinely appreciates my comedy, right?
:)
 
My support worker got a phone call from his supervisor who was asking me if I had time next week for another meet and greet. I said yes but very confused since I thought Corey was it now and he was picking up my last few shifts. He's in recovery and I really vibe with him. Tells me they've got two girls in line for me and I'm like tbh I did list my preference as a trans man if possible, then a male, then a trans woman, then a woman. So I know support work is a male dominated field but like is there any possibility I can get a guy? Why have I been given Corey for literally a week, I open up to him, then my support gets ripped away. It fucks the trauma up. And they told me the other guy they set me up with is also stopping with me eventually and I got super connected with him too and wasn't at all told this was the case initially, it was presented as ongoing regular long term support. Two males, then they get subbed out for women who I struggle to connect with.

Then Corey told me he wasn't going to accept her assigning him to the desk job because he wants to work with me and thinks it's wrong that they put him with me, I got close to him, then I got him taken away and had my last preference given when the agency is hiring people left right and centre and like they even have a trans man worker yet somehow the trans male client hasn't been set up with that dude. I mean what is the point of advertising priority support for transgender participants of the program when after asking us for support preferences you go to the bottom of the list, after hiring two men as OFFICE STAFF like woah you complain about a shortage of male workers then when you get them you reassign them.

So Corey is staying with me on Wednesdays and Fridays. And he told me to check in through the week to stay on top of drug use.

First good news with my disabilities stuff in ages having a worker advocate for me like that
 
AbbeyLee said:
Click to expand...


EbR62otWAAAJTQv
 
Eligiu said:
My support worker got a phone call from his supervisor who was asking me if I had time next week for another meet and greet. I said yes but very confused since I thought Corey was it now and he was picking up my last few shifts. He's in recovery and I really vibe with him. Tells me they've got two girls in line for me and I'm like tbh I did list my preference as a trans man if possible, then a male, then a trans woman, then a woman. So I know support work is a male dominated field but like is there any possibility I can get a guy? Why have I been given Corey for literally a week, I open up to him, then my support gets ripped away. It fucks the trauma up. And they told me the other guy they set me up with is also stopping with me eventually and I got super connected with him too and wasn't at all told this was the case initially, it was presented as ongoing regular long term support. Two males, then they get subbed out for women who I struggle to connect with.

Then Corey told me he wasn't going to accept her assigning him to the desk job because he wants to work with me and thinks it's wrong that they put him with me, I got close to him, then I got him taken away and had my last preference given when the agency is hiring people left right and centre and like they even have a trans man worker yet somehow the trans male client hasn't been set up with that dude. I mean what is the point of advertising priority support for transgender participants of the program when after asking us for support preferences you go to the bottom of the list, after hiring two men as OFFICE STAFF like woah you complain about a shortage of male workers then when you get them you reassign them.

So Corey is staying with me on Wednesdays and Fridays. And he told me to check in through the week to stay on top of drug use.

First good news with my disabilities stuff in ages having a worker advocate for me like that
Click to expand...

I know it's a bit of a different situation but my Drug & Alcohol counselling got really messed up. I had to wait for ages (in which time I sobered up on my own bc I *had* to) then I finally got a counsellor. I made the effort to go see him twice, and then he disappeared!!

This woman started ringing me and I could tell she was one of those uppity bitches. I don't like unexpected calls from those people so I texted politely, got ignored for five days over Easter, then she just started ringing again while I was dealing with a doctor. So I blocked her lol.

They sent me the usual "we have tried to contact you unsuccessfully" letter to cover their arses, then "if we do not hear from you by *date* we will assume you no longer need our service." I thought "good" and threw it in the bin.

Bloody waste of time. I get way more support here!! 😎
 
AbbeyLee said:
I know it's a bit of a different situation but my Drug & Alcohol counselling got really messed up. I had to wait for ages (in which time I sobered up on my own bc I *had* to) then I finally got a counsellor. I made the effort to go see him twice, and then he disappeared!!

This woman started ringing me and I could tell she was one of those uppity bitches. I don't like unexpected calls from those people so I texted politely, got ignored for five days over Easter, then she just started ringing again while I was dealing with a doctor. So I blocked her lol.

They sent me the usual "we have tried to contact you unsuccessfully" letter to cover their arses, then "if we do not hear from you by *date* we will assume you no longer need our service." I thought "good" and threw it in the bin.

Bloody waste of time. I get way more support here!! 😎
Click to expand...

Wow ugh yeah I've had that. When I left intensive outpatient I went back to the local free youth counselling service. And I was allowed there. For all of 4 months until I aged out and transitioned to the adult services.

So idk if you're doing trauma alongside your d&a but it's a fair guess (not to be presumptuous but being very upset due to a change in counselling is also standard for trauma and totally reasonable) but I had this dude Logan who worked out way early I had 'familu dynamic issues' as he said. I told him to skirt the issue. Fuck I'm seeing him for 4 months I ain't telling him shit. I used once with 2 weeks left and he got me unsettled and I just exploded and told him in grpahic detail the abuse after he prodded me for it. I stormed out the door and went to buy meth again. Skipped the next session then got assigned my new guy Brendan who I had for 2 years and who was better than any paid therapist. He also asked me to stay in contact and update him here and there on my life. How kind. Brendan said the session report had an incident logged and I reluctantly told him what happened. He was furious and said what logan did was contrary to all gold standard trauma informed treatment and he would be performance managing him as senior practitioner. He then asked if I wanted him to read the notes from Logan so he would know my trauma disclosure and I wouldn't have to do it, or if I wanted to leave it and tell him when I felt comfortable. I'd gone in believing I'd ask him to read it but when he gave me the choice I actually wanted to tell him when I trusted him. Having him for 2 full years allowed me to develop my trust and have the treating relationship come to a natural and not traumatic end at the final stage of the outpatient program. He added on two extra sessions as I unfortunately relapsed just as it finished, but so I'd have support as I moved to a new service.

The new service is LGBT friendly so I'm hoping I can get from it something Brendan just couldn't give to me but I had one dude for 3 weeks now I only have this other guy 6? Fuck like give me the 3 weeks back I just had to rehash it all again. And 3 weeks in for me is like testing the waters zone. I've started believing I can trust you then at the end of the session you bounce? How did you not know this was happening weeks ago and why was I even assigned to you? Continuing care is SO fucking crucial for trauma and drug and alcohol work. I'm so glad I got my new guy since he is a lives experience IV meth user so he gets it gets it, but it feels like I got a big short changed.

I really, really hope it works out for you. Do you have alternative options? I actually found my new place through telehealth as I've been through all the free Ngo drug and alcohol services in my local area so I had to branch out while I wait for them to take me again. Perhaps consider trying something like that if this isn't for you?
 
Eligiu said:
Wow ugh yeah I've had that. When I left intensive outpatient I went back to the local free youth counselling service. And I was allowed there. For all of 4 months until I aged out and transitioned to the adult services.

So idk if you're doing trauma alongside your d&a but it's a fair guess (not to be presumptuous but being very upset due to a change in counselling is also standard for trauma and totally reasonable) but I had this dude Logan who worked out way early I had 'familu dynamic issues' as he said. I told him to skirt the issue. Fuck I'm seeing him for 4 months I ain't telling him shit. I used once with 2 weeks left and he got me unsettled and I just exploded and told him in grpahic detail the abuse after he prodded me for it. I stormed out the door and went to buy meth again. Skipped the next session then got assigned my new guy Brendan who I had for 2 years and who was better than any paid therapist. He also asked me to stay in contact and update him here and there on my life. How kind. Brendan said the session report had an incident logged and I reluctantly told him what happened. He was furious and said what logan did was contrary to all gold standard trauma informed treatment and he would be performance managing him as senior practitioner. He then asked if I wanted him to read the notes from Logan so he would know my trauma disclosure and I wouldn't have to do it, or if I wanted to leave it and tell him when I felt comfortable. I'd gone in believing I'd ask him to read it but when he gave me the choice I actually wanted to tell him when I trusted him. Having him for 2 full years allowed me to develop my trust and have the treating relationship come to a natural and not traumatic end at the final stage of the outpatient program. He added on two extra sessions as I unfortunately relapsed just as it finished, but so I'd have support as I moved to a new service.

The new service is LGBT friendly so I'm hoping I can get from it something Brendan just couldn't give to me but I had one dude for 3 weeks now I only have this other guy 6? Fuck like give me the 3 weeks back I just had to rehash it all again. And 3 weeks in for me is like testing the waters zone. I've started believing I can trust you then at the end of the session you bounce? How did you not know this was happening weeks ago and why was I even assigned to you? Continuing care is SO fucking crucial for trauma and drug and alcohol work. I'm so glad I got my new guy since he is a lives experience IV meth user so he gets it gets it, but it feels like I got a big short changed.

I really, really hope it works out for you. Do you have alternative options? I actually found my new place through telehealth as I've been through all the free Ngo drug and alcohol services in my local area so I had to branch out while I wait for them to take me again. Perhaps consider trying something like that if this isn't for you?
Click to expand...

I saw a psychiatrist for 20 years and god knows how many psychologists. It started with severe anxiety/panic but by now I have C-PTSD or something from a lifetime of emotional abuse.

I'm done telling professionals about it though. I did like my shrink but he retired in 2018. Psychologists are some of the most socially inept, useless people I've ever met lol.

I'm keen to try psychedelics as medicine for PTSD, depression, anxiety. Supervised by someone who knows what they're doing. Psylocibin 🍄🤗
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top