Foreigner
Bluelighter
My friend who is hypersexual and honestly a bit of a sex addict with poor boundaries raised an interesting point recently. In his ideal world, humans could have sex in public and it wouldn't be a big deal, anymore than kissing in public or eating in public. I thought: of course YOU want that, because it would work awesomely for someone like you who would be getting what he wants. I did consider his idea though.
I then reflected on the fact that pretty much every culture around the world thinks public sex is taboo.
My reasoning against it: the first thing I thought of is that children shouldn't be exposed to adults having sex, but I used to think the same thing about adult nudity and now I don't. I have been to nude beaches which are child friendly and it's not really a big deal. The children seem happy. But sex is different. Children don't understand such adult themes and it could be damaging to expose them prematurely.
The next thing I thought of is... the human sex drive is very powerful but also vulnerable. Not everyone wants to be exposed to sex and possibly turned on when they don't want to be. On the other hand, the same can be said for almost anything else. Someone might not like being turned on by seeing someone in swim wear, but is that really the swim wear person's problem?
If it's between two consenting adults, why should it matter?
For me personally, public sex is triggering because I have sexual trauma. My friend who thought of this is an attractive, white male with no trauma and mountains of privilege who can get laid whenever he wants. Of course such a world would work for him. He's also an exhibitionist.
We both agreed that maybe in a world where society's sexual wounds are healed and the human body isn't so shamed, public sex could work. But I still don't feel right about that.
Even in an ideal world where nobody has sexual wounds, I don't like this idea... but I can't quite pinpoint why. I mean, shitting is normal too but we mostly conceal that from one another. Even in the poor countries I've been to, people try their best to partition things off, and if they can't it's only because they're too poor to build structures. Most people prefer to shit in private. Just like most people prefer to have sex in private.
What say you?
I then reflected on the fact that pretty much every culture around the world thinks public sex is taboo.
My reasoning against it: the first thing I thought of is that children shouldn't be exposed to adults having sex, but I used to think the same thing about adult nudity and now I don't. I have been to nude beaches which are child friendly and it's not really a big deal. The children seem happy. But sex is different. Children don't understand such adult themes and it could be damaging to expose them prematurely.
The next thing I thought of is... the human sex drive is very powerful but also vulnerable. Not everyone wants to be exposed to sex and possibly turned on when they don't want to be. On the other hand, the same can be said for almost anything else. Someone might not like being turned on by seeing someone in swim wear, but is that really the swim wear person's problem?
If it's between two consenting adults, why should it matter?
For me personally, public sex is triggering because I have sexual trauma. My friend who thought of this is an attractive, white male with no trauma and mountains of privilege who can get laid whenever he wants. Of course such a world would work for him. He's also an exhibitionist.
We both agreed that maybe in a world where society's sexual wounds are healed and the human body isn't so shamed, public sex could work. But I still don't feel right about that.
Even in an ideal world where nobody has sexual wounds, I don't like this idea... but I can't quite pinpoint why. I mean, shitting is normal too but we mostly conceal that from one another. Even in the poor countries I've been to, people try their best to partition things off, and if they can't it's only because they're too poor to build structures. Most people prefer to shit in private. Just like most people prefer to have sex in private.
What say you?