Severe pain, anxiety....feel so lost.

[ChainedMisery]

So,

Long story short, I suffer from extreme anxiety, and agoraphobia...I also seem to get burning pain all over my body, I have a few ideas what this could be but I need to speak to my doctor.

Lately I've been using codeine, tranqs, benzo's etc but they just don't work....I used to use methadone a long time back but since moving to Perth Australia I can't seem to find a clinic or anything....old habits die hard I know but I know no-one here and I'm sick to death of doctors telling me everything is no good for me because god forbid it should be opiate based....not really sure why I'm posting, venting maybe.

Anyway if anyone else is in the same boat and would like to talk that might be nice, I'm tired of feeling alone, which is how I feel in all of this....yes I used to be a heroine addict, but I quit...obviously the temptation is always with me, even now though without my former contacts I don't have as much temptation as I used to, if this is good or bad I'm not really sure yet lol.

Thanks for reading anyway.


Misery.

 

[Kazza69MeBaby!]

hey man,
im spun as fuck and am very susceptible to what cunts say...so i can like put my mind in your shoes......it sucks...to feel hat way aye...poor bastard.

i find that its all a figment of your imagination...just go out there with confidence, act like noone is giving a fuck to what you do on a d2d basis and just live ya life aye.



shit will get better.

 

[spacejunk]

So,

Long story short, I suffer from extreme anxiety, and agoraphobia...I also seem to get burning pain all over my body, I have a few ideas what this could be but I need to speak to my doctor.

Lately I've been using codeine, tranqs, benzo's etc but they just don't work....I used to use methadone a long time back but since moving to Perth Australia I can't seem to find a clinic or anything....old habits die hard I know but I know no-one here and I'm sick to death of doctors telling me everything is no good for me because god forbid it should be opiate based....not really sure why I'm posting, venting maybe.

Anyway if anyone else is in the same boat and would like to talk that might be nice, I'm tired of feeling alone, which is how I feel in all of this....yes I used to be a heroine addict, but I quit...obviously the temptation is always with me, even now though without my former contacts I don't have as much temptation as I used to, if this is good or bad I'm not really sure yet lol.

Thanks for reading anyway.


Misery.

Hey,
Feel free to PM me - I know what you're talking about, and i kicked opiates last year. Things don't magically get better when you get clean; for a lot of people, it's the weeks, months - or however long - after detoxing that things get really tough. The anxiety - and whatever shit in your life that may have led you down that path (or things that happened in the process of being an addict) can be really hard to deal with minus the opiate numbing warmth.

There are heaps of people that can relate to what you're talking about - not just in this subforum, but in the recovery forums, the dark side, healthy living - all manner of good, kind, supportive people.

In "the real world", I could really recommend the counselling, rehab and medical support of "Next Step".
It's a free service, HR oriented, non-judgemental, non-religious or preachy.
They've been really helpful for me, and have offices across the Perth metro area and some regional centres as well (I think).

http://www.dao.health.wa.gov.au/Aboutus/Organisationalstructure/NextStepDrugandAlcoholServices.aspx

They can organise Opiate Maintenance Therapy and help you get various substance use issues under control - and offer great counselling to help you get a better understanding of why you use, and strategies to keep shit under control.

But if you're not interested in going down that path - plenty of people on bluelight have more compassion and empathy than the post above mine.
Seriously; what the fuck ?
Anxiety disorders and drug comedowns are not the same thing.

All the best, CM. If you ever want to chat or vent or anything, dont hesitate to drop us a PM.
I hope things are start getting better for you - it's a cruel world out there.

 

[ChainedMisery]

Thankyou....

it's been a long time for me but the thought never leaves, less so now with all im dealing with, some days I'd kill just to go buy some H or Methadone because while I know how bad it is for me I also know at least sometimes I might feel normal again though sadly when I moved to another state I lost all contacts...sometimes I think that's a bad thing rather than good, I'm getting more and more addicted to the pills I'm on, codien more so or however the hell you spell that, I know it's a -bandaid- solution but I have tried everything, therapy, Phyches, counseling, medications and nothing is working...I'm almost at the end of the line honestly.

 

[ChainedMisery]

Also, couldn't PM either of you, apparently there's a limit to how many PM's a person can have or something, tonight I'm just getting drunk, though it does fuck all really, like most things.

 

[Kazza69MeBaby!]

Yeah, yeah...120 min wait?

I'm coming off a 3 day 4 night bender bruz...shit also while going off codeine (used to do fuckloads of da shit!!)...about a year...while on Chris Dolmeth...it fucks you up...gavent left the house in like ages....ive just been runnin round da house havin a pip here, dere pips are everywhere...i shot some shit up though recently...only had bud last night...wish i had a q...drinking vodka...:/.....

 

[spacejunk]

To the potty-mouthed bogan; I'm not going to respond to your nonsense any more.

Chained misery - I'm not really sure if it's still the case, but you may not be able to send a private message until you reach "bluelighter" status (50 posts).
I really empathise with you (I fucking hate living in Perth too!) - but thought I'd just give you a quiet word of advice to avoid posting things that could be concieved as attempting to source drugs. I know you're not - but just be aware that is strictly forbidden around these parts.
I hope you're using "cold water extractions" to extract the deadly amounts of ibuprofen/paracetamol in over-the-counter codeine pills.
That's an expensive, time consuming and increasingly difficult habit for people to sustain.

Look, from what you've said - it sounds like you could benefit from going back on maintenance.
I don't think I've ever thought or said that to anyone before - but if things are as dire as you say, give Next Step a call on Monday (# is 92191919 but they may redirect you to another office depending on whereabouts you are living in Perth) and see if you can get their advice or a consultation in regard to getting on some kind of opiate maintenance program.
You know your needs better than anyone else, and if you need to go back on methadone - well, that option is always there.

Note - I am in no way affiliated with this particular drug and alcohol agency, but they do good work and have really helped me get my life on track (as well as helping me give my 8 year habit the flick, as an outpatient)

All the best - sorry about the private message thing; there was a loophole for "Greenlighters" for a while, but the latest software upgrade must've fixed that. When you reach 50 posts you'll be able to PM people. I think you may only be able to message mods as a GLer.

Take care of yourself!

 

[ChainedMisery]

How does the methadone programme work? I was worried they would think...oh that's not a strong enough addiction and kick me out the door, but it is and it's ruining my life....in Sydney you went to a clinic but I'm not sure how it works here, the other issue is privacy.. But I'll PM you about that.

 

[teological]

These doctors and their opiate-phobia really piss me off. I mean opiates, besides obvious addictions and social issues that come along with that, are physically benign. They do not harm the body for fucks sake. They make out opiated to be this evil, addicting, physically destructive drug, but are willing to prescribe SSRIs and Tricyclic medication without a blink of an eye. So tell me, if I suddenly stop those SSRIs, will I not withdraw?

Good luck OP. I understand how you feel, and it seems you have made changes in your life. Maybe you need more friends and perhaps a partner if you do not have one. Something to keep you busy, maybe a new job or studies? Just something to fill that hole, and for to become passionate about. That is about the only thing that may help you truly stop thinking about opiates (well 90% stop, the memory is always going to be there, but you will start to have more control over how long you think about it and how much you crave as time goes on).

If not, as the above posters have suggested, MMT to help keep you opiate stable, the same as SSRIs would keep serotonin stable. Fuck their biased ideas. Do what makes you feel good and what you want. Fuck, if Codeine is not good enough for them, go out and wash poppy seeds for a week along with Codeine, then go tell them that you have a high morphine addiction, let them test you and what not and they will see.

 

[spacejunk]

Opiates aren't as physically benign as you make out. They are incredibly addictive, and the physical harm comes in forms other than those directly caused by opiate drugs

When I used, I was always getting sick - vulnerable to every cold, flu or mysterious fever that crossed my path.
Since kicking, my immune system has been in top shape. Not a single cold or flu in a year.

I'm not saying I don't agree with part of what you are saying - but it is a total myth to say opiates are benign; wait until you've discontinued use and dealt with months of PAWs. Addiction changes you.
And this is nothing against addicts or the drugs themselves.
They can be very useful in the right situations,
Once you've been there, sure - opiates seem like the best answer - and maybe they are - but for people who haven't been addicted to opiates, there are plenty of good reasons for medical practitioners not to hand out scripts for narcotic meds for things other than pain.
Just my 2 cents.
Also...if the OP wants to get on MMT, they should be able to - especially with a previous history on that program - advising ways to 'cheat' the system is hardly within the spririt of HR - especially with something as intensely habit forming as methadone.

 

[opi8]

I would suggest anyone who wants to get on methadone really doesn't understand what they're getting themselves into. I highly advise against such a life changing decision, especially if you don't even need it.

 

[catching fish]

Rather than wasting resources on drug testing people applying for MMT, they should be forced to watch a documentary about the lives of methadone users - focusing especially on their attempts to get off the shit.

There are already a few really good documentaries on the lives of methadone users. The most recent one I saw was Methadonia. That was pretty heavy.

 

[teological]

Opiates aren't as physically benign as you make out. They are incredibly addictive, and the physical harm comes in forms other than those directly caused by opiate drugs

Yeah, that is exactly what I meant. The harm comes from the consequences of using them, but not a direct cause of the effects they have on the body. Like they do not cause liver damage or organ failure. APAP does directly. That is what I meant. Obviously the social aspects and the downsides whilst withdrawing are taken into account here.

But I would rather be handed a script of opiates for chronic pain management, than using NSAIDs every single day, because they do not cause "addiction". They fuck up your body over time, especially the kidneys. My doctor seems to think that keeping me on Voltaren for long term use is better than opiates, because they are not addictive. I will be using them long-term anyway, so what is the difference? My body will not be damaged by the opiates, I can still live into old age while taking them daily.

 

[spacejunk]

More or less true, if you look after your body in other ways (ie digestive tract).
It's the addiction and its medium to longterm effects on the brain that I have become acutely aware of since quitting.
It seems harmless and reasonably manageable at the time.
But I know what you mean about scaremongering. I think a lot of that has to do with increased monitoring of doctors' prescribing habits, but like other drugs of abuse/addiction (benzos, increasingly - and with good reason in that case) individual docs are really reluctant to prescribe opiates to young people or those presenting without - say - a terminal illness.

Partly the drugs' reputation, partly the addictive nature of narcotics - but likely also an institutionalised culture of prescribing "only as a last resort".

I hope the OP has found some of my suggestions helpful.
I'm wondering how long Chained Misery has been off - or without - methadone.
Sounds like a fucking nightmare to detox from.

 

[opi8]

I sympathise and agree with you teo, however we will not pass this hurdle until society has gotten over its stigma of "addictive" medicine. There's no need to mention the number of physically addictive substances these doctors hand out daily, or the fact that some addictive opiods are ok so long as they don't make people feel good (methadone, buprenorphine), but not others.

 

[spacejunk]

It's part of our Christian cultural heritage - 'feeling good' is sinful, outside of strictly proscribed activities.
My take, anyway.
People with serious pain and/or addiction should allowed to take whatever they need to improve their quality of life.
Big Pharma would rather make guinea pigs of us all, instead. Or allow weak opiates to be available, in dosages below threshold amounts, loaded with potentially fatal NSAIDs, or pantloads of fucking sorbitol.
No wonder people take to street drugs/research chemicals.

 

[teological]

Big Pharma would rather make guinea pigs of us all, instead. Or allow weak opiates to be available, in dosages below threshold amounts, loaded with potentially fatal NSAIDs, or pantloads of fucking sorbitol.
No wonder people take to street drugs/research chemicals.

You know what I have never quite understood, since it is Big Pharma, and they are greedy corporations that consider money to come first above all, why don't doctors prescribe opiates and other addictive narcotics more easily to further enrich these companies? Why aren't they encouraged by Big Pharma to prescribe narcotics in order to increase their bottom dollar, the way they encourage SSRIs (along with commission to the prescribing doctor)?

When I was seeing my therapist, I was sent to a GP in order to get meds for my anxiety associated with drug psychosis. He was going on about prescribing me SSRIs (Prozac) and how it has no side effects and has been around such a long time that the risks are basically nil. He even told me that he was prescribing them off-label for erectile dis-function! Me, being remotely educated in this field, told him I do not want to take Prozac and was wondering if he could prescribe me benzos. He told me that because of my past substance abuse issues, he would not do that, which is fine...then, guess what he offered... If I go on the Prozac first, then he will prescribe me "a little bit of Xanax" to help take the edge off and let me sleep. Lol WTF.

He even gave me a free pack of Prozac to take home and have a think about it. Needless to say, I used them on occasion to inhibit enzymes and potentiate my opiates Thanks for that free pack doc. Never went back again.

 

[spacejunk]

You know what I have never quite understood, since it is Big Pharma, and they are greedy corporations that consider money to come first above all, why don't doctors prescribe opiates and other addictive narcotics more easily to further enrich these companies? Why aren't they encouraged by Big Pharma to prescribe narcotics in order to increase their bottom dollar, the way they encourage SSRIs (along with commission to the prescribing doctor)?

Politics and legislation, i think.
Addicts scamming for scripts (not that I am implying that is what anyone here is doing or trying to do) has been going on for the best part of a century - it has been so ingrained in doctors' training and thinking, that everyone (of certain demographics) becomes a potential "drug seeker".
And I guess in the eyes of a paranoid quack (sorry, esteemed medical professional) writing a single script for a desirable medication ("abusable drug") can become a constant hassle with the patient returning for another script, repeats, etc.
Are they going to gamble their professional standing with the possibility that you might be genuinely in need of pain relief? That's a pretty small pay-off for the doc, but potentially a big risk that you'll be back to risk their livelihood again, with a condition that requires closely monitored medicine.

So...Big Pharma does have a hand in the opiate game. I was reading the other day that narcotic painkillers are growing in demand, globally;

Demand for painkillers has boomed and the number of Tasmania's poppy crops has exploded, the industry is now worth $120 million a year to farmers.

http://www.abc.net.au/news/2014-02-22/tasmania-vows-to-fight-to-keep-poppy-monopoly/5273638

- but this could be associated with the aging population, the various new formulations hitting the market ("abuse-proof" slow release polymer matrix pills and so on)...so id say its more complicated than saying Big Pharma doesn't want to sell as many opiates/opioids as possible - just that they're bound by scheduling, politics and the (so called) "public interest".

As I mentioned before; the amount of codeine in most OTC painkillers - when taken as directed - is little more than a threshold dose, which is only going to have (at best) moderate ability to ease patients' suffering with post-operative discomfort or other serious pain that cannot be managed with a couple of panadol.

According to a conversion chart on Wikipedia, 100 mg of codeine is equianalgesic to 10 mg morphine. This is between around 8-12 OTC codeine painkillers, meaning dangerous amounts of NSAIDs, especially if taken 4 or more times in a day.
Yet, as sale is restricted on these items (in somewhat symbolic fashion, it seems - nothing like pseudoephedrine) - they are a very popular seller.

How many people are using the codeine safely (ie CWE or in directed doses (max 2 every 4 hrs, 4 times in 24hrs? people with very low codeine tolerance; opiate naive patients and presumably placebo patients as well - or those responding well to the NSAID content).

How many people aren't using the product safely - choking down fistfuls of tablets, unfiltered, causing liver, stomach or other complications, resulting in death or serious illness?

I would put this down to the power of Big Pharma wishing to protect their profits - even if they are probably causing harm to a lot of people who don't know any better
("hey! They're legal; don't need a script or nothin'! They must be safe, right? Kids' stuff!")

Whereas; mention oxycodone or a any other opiate/opioid pain reliever to a doctor and they tend to be dismissive or mock-offended.
So...it's an intersting contradiction - with plenty of spin and corporate interests along the way.


(Apologies if this has strayed way off topic)