Mental Health Self Medicating..

[7Star]

Hello,Need some advice reguarding mental health and opioid addiction.Start off with my background,Im a 27 year old male,I began experimenting with hydrocodone when i was 14,It quickly turned into a daily habit,I never seen a dr. reguarding mental health,all I knew it that slef medicating with prescription painkillers killed my anxiety and made me into a more sociable person while i was under the influence of them.So I continued to do what worked at the time.It excalated to oxycodone,and eventually heroin.I have been to prison,inpatient,and have been on probation,so i have had times of 6 months to 18 months (prison) sober,but always end up back on the opiates as soon as i get the chance.Its not so much a problem with withdrawal,its the lethargy and depression that comes along after abusing them for so long.I think there are mental health issues/anxiety.I have been prescribed benzo's and antidepressants (zoloft,celexa)but nothing seems to let me be naturally happy. ,and the 13 years of self medicating makes it worse.
Soo....Right now im clean of Heroin,but still use oxy or suboxone daily,hydrocodone, and dextromethorphan when its the only thing availible.Everyday i wake up and cant relax until i can dose,but i dont even have physical withdrawal symtoms.I would appreciate feedback from anyone who has been though this before.

 

[herbavore]

I haven't been through it but I have dealt with anxiety for the better part of my life. Look at it this way: you had the initial discomfort/pain of feeling anxiety around other people, this usually turns inward and causes negative self-image. Now the problem has compounded into two. You start self-medicating (quite rationally) and that is such a temporary relief and no solution at all but you become dependent anyway. Now you have three problems instead of one. Self medicating is very frowned on by the powers that be who would rather you bought their drugs than used your own so you get arrested and go to prison. Now you have even more stigma and shame to deal with so you add a few more layers of problems. What I am trying to get at here is that in fact you are a strong person with very much courage and stamina and you have what it takes to relearn how to think about yourself, forgive yourself for past choices (by putting them in perspective) and start yourself on a path of dealing with your original problem in order to alleviate all the others.

Here are a few resources that might help. I have been able to almost completely eliminate debilitating anxiety from my mind. It still comes up (seems to be part of my nature), but I have learned how not to buy into it and be controlled by it. It didn't happen overnight (but it has been easier than I thought). I only wish that someone had been able to teach me some of these techniques a lot earlier in my life.

http://www.calmclinic.com/anxiety/how-to-overcome

http://www.health.harvard.edu/mind-and-mood/treating-anxiety-without-medication

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/sheenie-ambardar-md/emotional-health_b_1542521.html

 

[MilzyWilzy]

I can relate to how you are feeling, I was an opiate abuser too. I loved the mental and physical energy that they gave me, they were heaven. No anxiety, no paranoia, just bliss in tablet form. I was using far too much as time wore on. I was lying to doctors and my family. I had to quit, I had to take control of my life without the reliance on a drug. I was scared, I couldn't cope. The feeling of depression and anxiety was off the scale. I couldn't function without my precious opiates. It took me a year to finally realise that I am strong, I am worth this, I'm alive and breathing and I have everything to look forward to in life. You can beat this I promise. You have that strength inside of you, you will find a way to let it shine. I did my withdrawal alone and with no support, I advise that you get as much support as you can. If you have nobody, I am only a PM away and I will help you as much as possible. You need to take things slowly, give yourself a little goal everyday, give yourself something small to look forward to. Build up your confidence by trying to meet new friends, I know how hard that is, but you can do it, push yourself harder than ever before. Stay safe and I'm here if needed.

 

[7Star]

Sorry for the late reply,but tha'll you all for the great advice.Herb u hit it head on,I learned things about myself after reading that.thank you all.Definatly has let me realize I am.strong .Ive felt weak for all these years of addiction.sometimes thigs get easier with a fresh perspective.