when in rome
Bluelighter
Let me start by saying my friend was my form of bluelight long before I ever heard of this site. I mean that she was the only person that I let see the complete me with all my habits and problems being known, and I was that to her as well. It has been that way for close to 7 years on and off due to our combative relationship with eachother. We would always resolve our problems and wind up being there for one another when we needed a crutch in life.
Over the last year things have gotten much worse for her by her own hand. She has had an opiate addiction that spiraled out of control and into rehab. She didn't last a day in there. She came out swearing to be scared straight and committing to quit on her own terms. Obviously we all know that's bullshit and she relapsed and it continued.
Finally she came around and for a very brief window I had back the the original person I had become so close with years earlier. Then, around the 4th of July she stopped picking up her phone and I hadn't heard from her until this morning. I wake up to texts and missed calls saying how she fucked up again and now has a coke problem.
I'm tired of this shit with her. I know she's a drama queen who does this for some sort of fucked up form of attention but I also know she keeps pushing her limits and she's about to break. Our friendship has become so one sided and it has got me pissed and ready to say enough. I just would like to fix her one last time for her kids sake. No I haven't mentioned it yet but she has a beautiful little baby girl. Even sadder part is that I believe her child is motivation for her drug use. I think she sees herself as a bad mother due to her low paying job and lack of relationship with the father of the baby.
She wants me there for her but the only thing I offer is comfort to her loneliness. My words haven't helped sway her in a while even though she knows I'm right. I'm just at a loss on how to get through to her. I respect your opinions here and know you have been there before so any ideas or plan of attacks would not fall on deaf ears. Thanks bluelight.
