Seeking Help Detox from Alcohol

[AuntieNoreen]

Hi,
This too is my first post,so I hope it goes ok!
came across the site googling tapering booze this morning.
I feel for you, only one person knows the extent of my drinking.
The lies I have told, incredible, I have sat through AA and now a Smart meeting,having slugged before I walked in.
I don't want to lie anymore, or to myself.
A brief history,bad Vodka habit, probably 750ml - a litre, steadily got worse since the end of 2012.
Have had periods that I managed to stop, even for a couple of months, then,I walked out of an AA meeting, feeling pissed off that everyone there seemed so grateful and bought just a half bottle, bam, right back in there.
I had three kids, had to leave home in 2013, husband is divorcing me,have had a succession of shitty jobs, lost them all down the V.
Then this year,I fell of my bike,pissed and badly broke my elbow, pins,surgery etc.
As I drunk drove, so was banned for two years, now can drive, but don't have the money for a car.
So I thought,after the accident , well, there is no point anymore, I will just drink.
I hid it from my now partner, who actually thought I was doing well,would attend hospital appointments with a bottle in my bag,insanity.
It got really bad and he found out and I decided to stop,just like that about 5 weeks ago,thought I was ok, then had a massive seizure and ended up in hospital for four days. He had decided not to be around,thank goodness he was there that night.
I was so sick before,that I couldn't even keep water down.
Then I stopped again, probably for 10 days.
The hospital suggested a Smart meeting, which I attended and hey ho,left. And bought a big bottle of Vodka and have been on a downward spiral since.
Yesterday I felt so ashamed going to buy a bottle before taking my kitten to the vets that I broke down on the way home.
So I am tapering,on my own.
The difficulty is, as there was more than one bottle hidden somewhere I have no idea how much I was drinking.
So today I have,since 4 am had a slug every half hour to an hour. Think I must have had maybe 400-500ml.
Was horribly sick yesterday and this morning, but have managed to keep fluids and some food in.
Tonight I feel ok,sipping lemonade,haven't had V since maybe 7 pm.
Am not sure how much I had today, but less than yesterday.
I have measured out 300ml for tomorrow and the rest is not up to me.
I feel that if I can eat, drink fluids, take shedloads of vit Bs and sip V when I feel I am withdrawing, I will be ok.
I hope so,I am scared, as I have read that it is most likely that you will have a seizure later, after 3 or 4 days.
But I feel vaguely normal tonight.
I am determined, I have now lost my partner!!!
Left with a kitten who deleted some of this.....
It is late and I need to sleep.
I am not sure of the rules,so am I allowed on this forum?
Thank you for letting me spout off and Fallen Girl, if I can do this,we all can.
I feel I can be totally honest on here and from the posts and responses I have read, it is amazingly supportive.
will check in tomorrow.

 

[Jabberwocky]

Welcome AuntieNoreen, good to have you aboard. You are more than welcome in SL!

We have a lot of good members around here who know their stuff when it comes to alcohol dependency and addiction. My forte is opioid addiction, but I do have one suggestion - do you have a doctor or psychiatrist you can work with? I highly recommend seeing one, they can help you taper more safely using something like diazepam. If you aren't familiar with it, look into the Ashton Manual to get more info on tapering info.

Shoot Moreaux a pm, she knows her stuff when it comes to boozing Say safe and best of luck! Give that kitten some love for us.

 

[Moreaux]

Please AuntiNoreen, I beg you, let someone else take care of the baby cat while you go through this. This is going to take some time to over come and you are in no condition to look after anything but yourself. I'm not saying that to hurt your feelings or judging you, I've been where you're going and it's not fair to the kitten. I had kitties when I got sober and somebody else had to take care of them while I was going through the process - they would probably have died if left with me.

What is your pill situation, so you have any benzodiazapines? If yes, what kind and how many? Do you have any blood pressure medication - if yes what and many? Do you have any antisiezure meds or a prescription to get some (you mentioned going to the hospital, don't know if they gave you a script). Is there any way at all to see a doctor? Is there anyway you can go to inpatient rehab? Ideally, you should go to rehab. If not, please answer my above questions. Quitting booze is hard and painful, but it is definately something you can do. I could write a novel but will wait to hear back from you.

I am so sorry you are going through this, I know how hard it is and how horrible you feel. Alcohol is insidious. I have been where you are several times and was finally able to get sober. As hard as it seems, there is a way out so don't give up!

 

[VastEmpty]

Aunti -

Tapering is so difficult! Generally speaking, but not always, we aren't very good at tapering because if we were - we would have enough self control (really control over the addicted self might be a better way to put it) to not be addicted.

I'm not saying it won't work for you, it may. I just know it's hard. Please don't be afraid to ask for help. And please listen to the above advice. You need something that has cross tolerance with alcohol (like benzos) so that you have a smaller chance of seizuring and maybe a higher chance of succeeding.

Please seek medical advice if at all possible! Good luck to you. Be safe.

- VE

 

[manboychef]

Can you go to a detox? They can make sure you are safe, and if something happens you are at a place they can help you instead of at home alone.